* open lines ©

THE SOMETIMES outrageous columnist Claire Hoy has a
theory: as an article of Canadian faith, we have a national
separation crisis every 10 years. This gives the Toronto mob
a chance to form various versions of the Committee for a

Parasitical Canada.

They don't like the word para-
site. They usually use ‘‘indepen-
dent.’? Within the labyrinth of
their self-ingratioting minds, this
comes to mean government sub-
sidy (CBC, publishing et al) and
government sponsored wars
against the American predators.

As one observer once noted
about the Bertons, Hurtigs and
similar beautiful people: ‘‘Their
mind is so open the wind whistles
through it.”’

We have a nightly parade of
people dramatically prophesying
that the end is nigh. Without
Meech, Canada will disintegrate.

This debate is Quebec’s favorite
sport. Like a temperamental baby
crying in a crib, or a dog doing
tricks looking for food, it is the
perennial experiment: how much
can we get this time?

If we are hurtling toward
destruction, what components of
Canada might go it alone? The
impoverished Maritimes haven't a
glimmer of hope. The richest oak
in the forest — Ontario — would
wither without its roots. The
Prairies would become a Balkaniz-
ed wasteland.

We are left with Quebec and
British Columbia. The French pas-
sion for illogic and a determined
bloody-mindedness in the face of
insult may lead Quebec astray.
British Columbia's geographic
position, resource base and robust
economy make it best suited for
independence.

The last Quebec independence
movement was a great deal of fun.
The late Rene Levesque, an equally
brilliant but far more typical
Quebecer than Pierze Trudeau,
told me one time that he found
English Canada’s “‘sky-is-falling”’
attitude highly amusing.

He tried to assure us that the
geography was likely going to re-
main in the same place. And there
were no plans for border fortifica-
tions. Out of such thoughts came
the friendly phrase “sovereignty
association.””

This was instantly perceived by
the Toronto crowd as an audacious

attempt to win independence
without sacrificing any Canadian
benefits.

ete

There is a delightful vision
rambling around in my mind about
Quebec independence. The Prime
Minister of the new Republic of
Quebec arrives in Washington to
be greeted at the airport by Vice-
President Dan Quayle.

“Hi Bob,”’ the grinning Quayle
says to Prime Minsister Bourassa.
“The President is going to see you
as soon as he’s through with the
guy from...’’ Quayle stops ar.
looks to his assistant. ‘‘Hey Harry,
where’s that group with bones in
their noses from?”’ The aide in-
forms the Quebec leader about an
African country.

‘What we want to know, Bob,’’
Quayle continues, ‘‘is how many
jets you want to buy?’

Bourassa says that his new
country intends to be a pacifist
neutral,

**Sure you do Bob... like the
Swiss?’’

Bourassa nods in approval.

Quayle shouts over to a nearby
General: ‘‘Tell the gang at the
Pentagon that Quebec plans a
militia and needs two million rifles
plus the best in troop transport
vehicles.”’

ankh

If Meech Lake dies in June, you
can be assured there will bea
flurry of independence talk in
Quebec. Reality will dawn once
again. More industries will pull
out. In graphic terms, the econom-
ic facts will be impressed upon
Quebecers.

However attractive the emo-
tionalism may appear, the costs
loom large in the minds of
Quebecers. The politicians will
waffle once again and we will
wend our way toward a new refer-
endum.

Add one maxim of democracy:
politicians never like to change the
status quo. Power is comfortable
and even cushy. Uncertainty is un-
necessary. Independence is laced
with risk.

Independence debates have been
ano-lose proposition for Quebec.
It is heady stuff to be constantly at
the focal point of everyone’s atten-
tion, and federal patronizing has
forged innumerable gains. There
has been no cost.

There is only one element of
constitutional talks that is crucial
to the West, and that is the argu-
ment put determinedly forward by
Premier Vander Zalm and others:
Senate reform must ameliorate the
Quebec-Ontario democratic dic-
tatorship.

Prime Minister Mulroney has
been unbending in that regard. He
has asked for a blank cheque ap-
proval on Meech, without any
Senate reform guarantees.

History has conditioned the
West with the certain knowledge
that eastern dominance will be the
cornerstone of all planning.
Therefore, without a concession,
there is no reason to co-operate on
Meech.

1 think the Meech Lake accord is
the least we can do to assure
Quebec of our good faith. Simi-
larly, the Senate should be the quid
pro quo.

Only through this kind of give
and take would the real marauder
emerge from the bushes free of
disguise: Ontario.

This is the only province that
wins through exploitation. It is not
a coincidence that all ‘‘Save
Canada’’ movements are nurtured
in its conspiratorial womb.

Failure to accommodate
Quebec’s unique culture at this
stage of constitutional deliberation
would be a pity. However, it
would merely be a failed opportu-
nity, not a catastophe as some
suggest.

On the World-As-Seen-From-
Toronto (a.k.a. The Journal) last
week, a very worried professor
revealed statistics indicating that
people in western Canada do not
believe Quebec will seperate if
Meech fails.

Professor, go straight to the head
of the class.

9 - Sunday, May 20, 1990 - North Shore News

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