Aicohol reader was drunk WE START with a funny thing. Really ha-ha. You may recall, back be- fore Jast Christmas, a col- umn about a self-ad- ministered alcohol-check, to use when you feared you were nearing overload and wanted to avoid the atten- tion of the BAT-mobile. Several of you called about the device, quoted as being in the three-dollar range, either for stocking stuffers or to have on hand during the festivities. And nothing materialized. Nothing came on to the market, there was no publicity whatsoever. It had simply gone away, back to Tranna, Until this week, when my ever-tantalizing mail brought me a veritable “‘Alcolert’’ to practice on, complete with instructions for use — ‘‘the personal, disposable breath analyzer”. With it was a let- ter, and this is the comedy part. They were readying ship- ments for the big Christmas rush won the manufacturer discovered that the shelf life of the device was !ess than satisfactory. The yellow crystals in its little window were intended to reveal the degree of alcohol by turning green, but they were turning green before they got out of the store! Everything was taken apart and re-examined: the package itself, the plastic case, the crystals. Finally, after innumerable tests and mounting despair, it was learned that the sealant used on the package contained the equivalent of an ounce to an ounce-and-a-half of alcohol! End of funny, beginning of Alcolert, at last. eeens The Greater Vancouver Regional District Parks held a wee seminar on edible wild plants a while back, and somehow both the invitation and the occasion passed me by. | However, they have kindly sent me a neat list of some stuff you really ought not to eat, when you’re down in the woods. Don't go munching on: *Bleeding Heart — any part of it can cause severe gastric problems; *Buttercup - any part of it will cause intense burning of the mouth and lips; *Foxglove — any part of it may prove fatal; “Skunk Cabbage — if you have to eat it, cook it first in a special way, or it will severely burn the mouth; *Yew — all parts are posi- tively deadly. My best advice: Carry a sandwich, You may cat: *wild clover, raw or stir- fried; *dandelion, but cook in two waters; *chickweed, either raw or butter-steamed; *thistles, but first remove the prickles. aeoee And now for Mr. and Mrs. Diamond, who claim breakfast is bad for you, because at that time of day your body is still in an elimination cycle. Harvey and Marilyn Dia- the kitchen ranger by Eleanor Godley mond say that all the thou- sands of calories you overloaded on yesterday are still being worked over, and your poor old body hasn’t got time to stop and take on anything more than a piece of fruit. No more wheaties with that banana, no more omelets with Feta and zuc- chini, no more sausages and scrambled eggs. 1 think they are both quite mad, but they want you to start the day with fresh fruit only, because, they say, it is digested quickly and pro- vides instant energy. Then they go on to jab you right in the solar plexus over your dinner of steak and baked potato — totally wrong, they say, because different stomach acids are needed to break down the steak’s protein and the potato’s starch, and that sets up an acid war, so to speak. Eat your potato with some broccoli today, fave your steak tomorrow with some salad. It cakes all kinds, ain’t it the truth? but this observer has no intention of giving up her favorite morning hour, with the first of the sun- shine, the best of the coffee, and a tender poached egg on toast. So there. avege Making Herb Butters may strike you as something you don’t want to do, but they’re simple and quick and really do make a nice difference to the flavor of a steak, or- hamburger patties, or sand- wiches, you'll think of more. Use either fresh herbs or dried (twice the quantity of fresh, remember), be sure the butter has been brought to room temperature, and invent your own combina- tions. You might find your own brand makes a pretty sophisticated version of Paul Waht's-His-Name’s special pop-corn, eh? Here’s a basic recipe, fora jumping-off point: Y cup (4 Ib) bulter or margarine (125mL) 2 tsp. each of chopped chives and chopped basil (0mL) OR Lisp. each of the dried or freeze-dried herbs (mL) 1 small gartic clove, mashed Cream the butter thoroughly, add the herbs and cream until combined, then pot it. Chill the result at feast overnight. 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