feet,”.

who was trained by my
parents, into my late teens,
to “stand..on.my own..two
Since “then, “T-have.

. 7 trained myself “in. the. same

-Freelance * Counsellor

Hayden . Stewart _may. be. -
_ feached at 261-6242 - for
- appointments for individual,
family or group counselling.
His new office in the Plaza
international Hotel (open.
Tuesdays onty) is for the
convenience of North Shore
residents. .

6

Wants:
marriage
to work

QUESTION: I have a
terrible, heavy feeling of
apprehension about our
marriage. I have the feeling
that it.is not going to work
‘out. I want it to work out and
become wonderful and I
think my husband does too,
bat I'm afraid.

My husband is a beautiful
person and I love . him
dearly. There is no other
man in my life. I'm just
scared it is going to go down
the drain. What can I do?
More than anything I want
our marriage.

STEWART: If you've hd a
hard time talking about it,
show him this letter of yours.
Then say something that lets
him see you sincerely feel
you two have a problem that
you would like to work
through. Suggest to him that
you talk at length, or arrange
to get professional help, or
perhaps even both.

- and, of: ‘course,

- procedure.“

Tm ‘used to neveflasking a a

: question if. there ts any way

in the world for me to. find
‘the answer myself. I may
never have. uttered the
words, “will you help me?” I

have taken a strong stand in

favour of _my being self-
relient,

Along. with these em-
phases, I have tried not to be.
swayed by my feelings, nor
to influence others by
showing » my feelings. I
consider . "these ., Strong,
chardcteristics in myself and

‘want to nurture them and-. *

keep them.

‘Being strong. in myself
* carefully

.

QUESTION: In regard to

that Catholic woman who
has six children and doesn't .
want any more. She is

missing out on some in- -

formation that is available to
her. |
You didn’t mention it

either_in your reply. Could
you give a more thorough
response to her in a sub-
sequent column? It seems
important; not only to her
but to many others in her”
position.’ .

STEWART: Thank you for
your suggestion. [I have
received today three phone
calls in ‘connection with that

“QUESTION: ['m 20 years
old and have a job I like but
it doesn't pay too much. Now
my parents have announced
that In six months I am to
start paying board and room
or find a place of my own. I
think of this as my home as
well as theirs and can't

French immersion

meeting for WV parents

Parents curious about
French Immersion in West
Vancouver will have an
opportunity to find out more
about the program as well as

ask questions next Wed-
nesday.
An informal drop-in is

being sponsored by the West
Vancouver Parents for
French at 1570 Ottawa
Avenue from 10 a.m. till
noon.

The immersion program
will be available for children
fromKindergartep and grade
one in the est Van
clementary school system.

Members of the parents
for French are hoping for a
good turnout at the informal
mecting. They have
literature and statistics on
the subject.

Casino night

Try your luck at Black-

jack, Roulette and Crown
and Anchor on Casino Night,
Friday May 4 from noon to 2
a.m, at the Italian Centre,
3075 Slocan St., Vancouver.

Athentic, homemade
Italian food and bar facilities

QUESTION: I'm a fellow

’ sure,

maturity
* described to you..

“analytical” about myself, are

So you havea picture, 'm™
of a_ healthily. in-
dependent person who feels
good aboui himself.

But it is not quite like that.
My tendency to. analyze
myself has made me aware
that although I- am _- in-
dependent, I am _NOT
“healthily independent” at
all. Although I’m a person

“who feels good about
myself,” I feel good about
myself only, in these areas of
‘that I -have

Additional facts about
myself are driving me to say,

- ‘will. you help me?” You see,

although I have done well in
my profession and better
than well financially, I,am
virtually without friends, Y
really love no one,. I don't
really have much. joy

Help is is available for

item. In each case, I invited
the callers to write me,
offering the information they
belive to be appropriate.

.

Two of the three agreed t to
accept my invitation and so
we will probably have more
on the subject in a week or .
two. I was agreeably im-
pressed - by the gracious.
attitudes of the callers and
am grateful to them.

If their letters are helpful
and not simply propaganda
for a particular organization
or viewpoint I will be happy
to share them with our
readers.

Pay rent to parents

understand | their attitude.
Your comment please.

STEWART: Six more
months free? At your age?
And you with a job? Your
parents are balmy. You
should start paying NOW,
and perhaps retroactively.
Why not fool them and get
generous right away?

The immersion plan is
presently at Cleveland
Elementary and Ross Road
elementary in North Van-
couver and Ridgeview in
West Vancouver.

will be made available.
Tickets (entry only) are $3
per person.

For further information,
please telephone the Italian
Centre at 430-3337 or the
Vancouver Playhouse at
684-5361.

1

living.
two of my-most valued traits...

and, ity you come ‘right:.
down to” it, I. don’ t. think .
many people like x mie. Se

Years ago I ‘overheard
someone in my. business:say

- about me, “He's 2 cold fish.”

At the time (I can. remember
it clearly) I was happy : about
what I heard! But now I am
very unhappy & about it. a

My analytical ‘tendency

‘says to -me now,,“You are

self-reliant and strong and
logical and capable,‘ but you
are also lonely, unloved,
unloving ‘and are weighed |
down with. feelings 0 of failing”

asa human being."

When I started this letter,
1 certainly had no intezition

-of ‘revealing so. ‘much about

myself. but it. just seems to
be rollizig ‘out. .Now liere -is

“my: very. _Carefully-worded

question, => “

wo

ROAR

t

along with. you,:

a a la hata

tt 1 ‘were - to break down.

I would. then. ask. you. to

‘and be weak enough to ask’~“analyze” yourself still more;

_> for -your help, how: -would
“you” go about counselling .

‘me? Writing you personally,

‘or phoning . you. seemed.

unacceptable to me. This
way, if you: answer. me, I can
study — your - answer. “in-
dependently,” -then decide
whether I want to_ make an
appointment.

STEWART: . . ‘Because I

--wanted to. print ALL’ of your.

-rather lengthy query, it. will
be necessary to give you a
rather short reply. In

ee ~counselling you I would first

of all assure-you that I see,
“reliable

worth in the characteristics.

you feel are some of your
__ Strengths. (Those charac-

- teristics prompted you te see’

ts and- start ex-
plori

“for~ways of using

* them even more effectively.)

a? +

Pitre,

o

Sat h olicwoman

to). have

with a view to learning from
yourself -what. MORE you.
want in life. You wold be
encouraged - to: lean: heavily
on your strengths while you
ackowledge, your hungers. ©

“You would. then be more »
ready to-.choose what. -you:

will do if: ‘anything to satisfy

those hungers. The decisions
would be yours. You would

_ still be independent, but you

would be’ learning to love
yourself more, - a

4

I believe you could come
abunda ex-
pectancy about the c
you: want to see happen in
yourself.-If that programme
of counselling appeals to
you, phone me at 261-6242
and make an.appointment.

Now you can choose an affordable home in either of
2 prime locations in North Vancouver. Carlton
Court at 225 West 14th Street, and Cedar Court at
220 East 11th Street. Both projects have the same
quality features, similar 2 and 3-bedroom layouts,
both offer the maintenance — and carefree life of a
condominium townhouse.

[1 2 and 3-

Bedrooms with Basement

C) Woodburning Fireplace

C] 1% Bathrooms

C) Quality

wall-to-wall Carpeting

() Full connections for Washer & Dryer
() Stove, Fridge, and Dishwasher
{] Sundrapes

() Underground Security Parking

Information and Sales Office (both projects):
Suite 8, Carlton Court,
225 West 14th Street, North Vancouver.

Open weekdays noon to 7, weekends noon to 6,
Closed Thursdays and Fridays.

Telephone

984-9626

ngés