THE TWELVE days of Christmas get in the way of the serious stuff. So let’s have a smile about dog- English. There was au time when we were taught to spell and given as triparound the rules of the lan- guage. That time has gone. Hence the efforts of some parents to get back to busies. There was the the sign flaunted by some protesting UNIVERSITY students down East. [C read: “Educatisa is not a privelage.” It wouldn't have surprised me if they had followed up with, “ls There are lots of university grads on the newspapers now. That must be why the spelling is so putrid. How do you like this headline from the Vancouver Sun? “Mao was treated like an emporer.” Just as goad was this gem from the Globe & Mail, which sets itself up as a national model. “Karsh: Interpretor or accom- plice?" “An accomplice maybe, but not an interpretor. * Words that include “get,” “fit” or “bat” always seem to confuse our scribes, ; _ Thus we see “targetted,” “bay- onetted,” “combatted” and “bene- fitted,” as in “London's ‘$s airports targetted again,’ ” (Vancouver Sun.) “Only one ‘t', children, please, _ when the emphasis is on the first “syllable. ‘That’ 's the general rule, KEN BAXT ER. “LAWYER.: 24 Years Experience: ; Collins ON THE OTHER HAND although some dictionaries give “combatted” as a preferred spelling in England. “Fitted” is a word that seems to be out of fashion. “It fitted him perfectly,” But in a Canadian Press story we see, “Mr. Sears expects to be FIT with a prosthesis soon.” (Yes, the writer could have meant that the man would be fit, physically. But that was not the case.) Even worse is the non-word, “commentate.” There are com- mentators, but they do not com- mentate, They do commentaries. - And some people comment. Reporters in quality newspa- ‘pers in the U.K. often make that mistake. Why did their parents waste money sending them to “= LONSDALE QUAY: “NORTH VANCOUVER _988- 6321 custom DRAPERIES, TRACKS AND VALANCES Labour $8. 50 per panel unlined, $9.50 lined. BEDSPREADS & BLINDS At low, lew prices. For FREE Estimates call 987-2966 {Ask about Seniors’ Discounts) Serving the North Shore for 23 years DR. ROBERT J. SCOTT mo. (formerly of 659 Clyde Ave, West Van.) is pleased to announce the opening — of his new Medical Facility on January 2nd, 1995 at 202-605 Clyde Ave. West Vancouver 922-6164 posh schools? : Nearer home --- inde North Shore News -~ the non-word “sigmige™ has cropped up-several times, as in Wess Van ailows security Signage” “What's wrong sith signs? a reader asked me. Dunno, mite. Old Daddy Parsons —- our English teacher — drilled into us the difference between “healthy” und “heatthful’ “People can be healthy, but not healthful.” he would say, waving his cane, “Climates, on the other hand, can be healthful but not healthy. They are not people.” * A headline weiter (on the Glisbe again) never met Mr, Parsons. Hf he had, te wouldn't have written, “He Wihy cating can be interesting.” The Globe also gave us this howler: “MeNall plea inimanent™ — areference to former Los Angeles Kings hockey club owner Brace. MeNall's imminent plea of guilty ina court case, God can be immanent, Hockey club owners? Never. Jn the Sun again we see Elizabeth Aird raving on about the ‘and stating, “Men could buy. sex to their hearts’ con- Breakthrough Price! ‘The Motorola flip-phone now $99 Wednesday, December 28 tent Cif there were brothels) with- out you aad Ehelping them do it” Without E helping then? Count me out, Liz. And one ean only sigh over the media's failure to Know that “tedia’ is a plural noun, That's why, S06 of the line, we see “media is” instead of “media are.” [t's almost as bad as saying, “We Is. “Burglarize™ is another atroci- ty. The word is “burgle.” “Historic” und “historical inysteries to some, The first means something that belongs to history, like a historic figure. The second merely relates to history, like a historical novel. So when Peter Newman report ed in Maclean's magazine that someone by the name of Slutsky said this was atime of “historical changes,” the editors were out to lunch. In-spite of all this hitching there was an up side to English in the past year, al least as fur as new words are concerned, (New to me, that is.) In England they've invented the word “snogging.” It relates to juicy mouth-to-mouth kissing as seen in the movies and on TY. “Hinny” is another good one, a “are , 1994 - North Shore News ~ 7 hinny being the offspring of a female donkey and a statlion, “Mr. Ash has the aesthetic scholarship of a niute and the line guistic scholarship of a hinny”” read a leder in Cliranieles ovaga- vine, Anil tet's not forget “euhe- merism,” which is myth as history. Of which there is no lack, Here endeth the lesson. NORTH VAN CURLING CLUB | recCentre Lonsdale — =) New Curlers Wanted No Experience Required Bring a Friend Register Now Call for details 987-PLAY 987-7529 | RICHARDSON GREENSHIELDS pail Guile 911 ~ 100 Park Royal Sauth » when you sign up for Expiorer. : For $49.95 a month Explorer also gives you: * Unlimited local calling for the first 50 days and 50 nights. “e 50 minutes of weekday business airtime. * Unlimited local calling every weekend. * $60 activation fee waived. . 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