40 - Sunday, March 24, 1991 - North Shore News Do hosts’ children have duties? DEAR MISS MANNERS — At some of our family hotiday func- tions, there are children — in- cluding those of the host and hostess — whose ages are similar to my children’s. . Is it reasonable of me to expect them to play a part in entertaining the other junior guests? Is it ap- Propriate for the children of the host and hostess to teave the par- ty, leaving the junior guests to stare at the wall while they go off with friends they brought to what was supposed to be strictly a fam- ily gathering. Also, could you clarify the rules for seating arrangements at large family dinners, where there is more than one table — the second being used for the dreaded dinner in the kitchen. Who is to be seated at the main table? Certainly the patriarch and matriarch of the family. Host and hostess? Their offspring? The oldest of each family, until capacity is reached, and then the rest seated at the alternate site? The guests, even if it means seating their oldest son, who is of voting age, with children in highchairs? This situa- tion always brings arguments and complaints. GENTLE READER — Indeed, young people do have respon- sibilities as junior hosts for guests of their age in their homes — regardless of whether they invited these people or even like them. They may offer activities as a sub-entertainment while the adults are talking, or include these guests with their own friends, but they cannot leave them to their own devices. Miss Manners believes that your relatives are doing their children a sad disservice by not using the oc- casions to train them in ways of consideration and _ hospitality. They will be anxious to know these techniques when they are old enough to engage in business KIDS’ STUFF From page 39 TUESDAY March 26--Ross Road School Bicycle Helmet Safety Pregram & Sale. 9 a.m.-noon & 2-8 p.m. Children will be fitted for helmets which are available at discount prices today. Info: 983- 3092. eee March 26-Ongoing. Maplewood Farm open Tues.-Sun. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. See lambs, rabbits, & guinea pigs. Special seed mixture avail. to feed the birds, ducks, geese, & chickens. Watch farmer milk a dairy cow each day at 1:15 p.m. Info: 929-5610. eee March 26--Ongoing. Free Hobby and Craft classes for 9 yrs. and up spon- sored by Sutherland Bible Chapel. 7- 8:30 p.m. at Maplewood Com. School. Info: 987-8396. ese March 26--Ongoing. Competitive Soc- cer for girls born in 1977. Play for the North Shore Amazons. Practice ses- sion 6:30-8 p.m. at Delbrook park. Info: Tom Byrom at 929-1766 or Danny Pietramala at 291-7861. eee March 26--Ongoing. Family Drop-in Centre. Break from day-to-day routine for parents and children under 5 yrs. Tues/Thurs. {except first Thurs. of each month), 9:30-11:30 a.m. at Lynn Valley United Church. Fee: $3 per ses- sion or $13.50 for 5. Also: Tues. at W.V. Inglewood YMCA, 10:30 a.m.- noon, $2.56 per session or $t! for 5; Tues/Fri., 9:30-11:30 a.m. at Queen Mary Community School. Fee: $2.50 per session or $11 for 5. Info: 988- 5281. zee March 26--Ongoing. Royal Cdn. Air Cadets 525 Squadron, W.Van. Meeting for boys and girls 12-19 yrs. 6:45-9:15 pam. at W.V. Inglewood YMCA. Info: 921-7569 or 921-9083. eee March 26--Ongoing. Cdn. Army Cadets meeting. 6:45 p.m. in Lt, Col. Fell, Armouries. For boys and. girls 12-17 yrs. Free. Info: 980-2919. LIFESTYLES Judith Martin MISS MANNERS entertaining, Miss Manners prom- ises you. At that point, it will be harder for them to learn how to be gracious to people they don’t have much in common with. For the very reason that the younger generation is supposed to play host to its peers, the usual table division — and precedence, when it comes to the dining room over the kitchen — jis by age. (This may or may not correspond to generations in the family.) Babies are excepted; it is well known that babies who have trouble aiming their food into their mouths want to be near a napkin-wielding parent. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I am enclosing a newspaper clipping in whick the parents of debutantes are listed as ‘“‘John and Mary Doe,’ although the information was sent in with the names as “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.’’ The columnist claimed that her editor would not let her publish it that way. Engagements, weddings and debutante presentations are about as formal as you can get, and I have never seen such informal usage. Am 1 wrong? GENTLE READER — News- - papers are as much caught as the rest of the society in the turmoil resulting from the lack of stand- ard usage for names. Miss Man- ners, for one, can hardly wait un- til everybody settles down to one system of nomenclature. In the interests of standardizing at least their own usage, many papers have made arbitrary deci- sions that are bound to offend at least some of their readers. They would do well, in this period of transition, to follow Miss Man- ners’ rule of allowing people to call themselves what they like — within reason, of course. An argument can be made that giving the parents’ full names more nearly fulfills the newspa- per’s job of providing full iden- tities to their readers. Miss Manners, who agrees with you that traditional social usage is best for traditional formal occa- sions, would rather solve the problem by arguing that such events, however delightful, are not really news and that one need not seek or allow publicity to attend them. DEAR iviiSS MANNERS — I am angry at my sister-in-law because; when my mother died, she did not extend condolences. We are invited to her home for the holidays. Since my family will be there with me and possibly other guests, | am concerned about my behavior. If I act natu- tally, which will be hostilely, I will appear to be cold and rude. GENTLE READER — Miss Manners is always so glad to hear that the spirit of the occasion moves people to anticipate re- unions with their loved ones. She suggests that you act better than naturally, which is to say, politely. This is a gcod occasion to cancel grudges and give everyone a fresh start. EASTER BUFFET BRUNCH Join us up on "The Roof" for lots of family fun and great food at our Easter Buffet! Highlights Visit from the Easter Bunny Colouring Contest Easter Egg Hunt 10:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Sunday March 31st, 1991 $28.00 per person $14.00 children 8 years and under Gratuity and G.S.T. not included One Dollar from each meal will be donated to the B.C. Children's Hospital For Reservations please call us at 684-3131 and ask for Restaurant Reservations Canadian Pacific BE Hotels & Resorts Hotel Vancouver My Child Is Bright, Why is She Having Problems in School? IS YOUR CHILD FRUSTRATED WITH DIFFICULTIES SUCH AS: Learning to read — following instructions — spelling, writing and other language related skills? “Kenneth Gordon School provides a remedial education in an emotionally supportive atmosphere for children 6-13 years old,” The program is individualized and offers: full curriculum — individual daily tutoring —small classes — specifically trained qualified staff. For Information Call KENNETH GORDON SCHOOL 524-5224 7855 Meadow Avenue, Burnaby, B.C. V3N 2V8 TO DEAL WITH ‘ ST STREET GARAGE YouR 1 STOP AUTO REPAIR SHOP ©4100 0 @. @. , __ FULL Service #¥, ML AUTOMOTIVE REPA Petia * BRAKES * TUNE-UPS * MUFFLERS (Life warranty) STEERING * TIRES * ELECTRICAL No need to go to the so-called “specialty shops’’, we look after the whole car at competitive prices! eeo000eeee6 INCLUDES: 20 pt. safety inspection and 5 litres of 10W-30 Quaker State motor oil. (most cars and light trucks) Expires Aprit 30, 1991 SSoeesseessseecescsesered SPHSSHSHSESSOSSEHECOECHELEBEOEES BY APPOINTMENT — CALL 98410077 834 WEST ist ST., NORTH VAN '€ @ o'8- vB -efe @ & 9 © 6 0:6 © @ 8 0.0 8 oe) “ee ecere” e060 6 0 8 0 8 6 0 ee 6 6 888 e