QUESTION: My husband
says he works all week with |
intellectual and
sophisticated people
that the people |
neighborhood;::;
suburbs, are. -j

and

QUESTION: (To the fellow
who ‘phoned to say how
awful he felt about hitting his
wife, and getting hit by her.
Sorry you hung up - or were
we cut off? I don’t know
enough about your situation,
but, let me say this little bit):

STEWART: You've made a
good start by admitting how
badly you feel about

in common with them and
doesn't want to make friends
with them. I have a good
time with my neighbors and

ave made several friends.

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached a

resorting to violence. You
know it’s a poor way. There's
a Chinese saying that goes
something like this: “The
one who strikes first admits
his ideas have given out.”
Don't try to be not physically
violent. That's too negative.
Instead, search for
ideas, and new ways to share
them with your wife. Search
for new resources other than

new

where we need to. associate

with people? He says I
should try to understand
him. He says mixing with

nothing our neighbors can -

give him. I see a pretty
unhappy time ahead for us in
this lovely neighborhood.
What can I do or say?

oy

ed

24.

fer appointments for individual. family or group counselling. Ms
office in thé International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only} ts for the
“convenience of North Shore residents *e

y
* ahh , ny roth —_
, a B : ¢
y
4 ’ j N Fi . . . nq weet .
ee es . . . -

your muscles. It sounded to
me when we talKed that you
would like to have a better
way. Good man! Go after it.
Perhaps you will need
counselling help, but
whether you lean that way or
not, remember you've got
much better ways in you
than just hitting. Find them
and use them. You'll not
regret it.

Being true to yourself

QUESTION: I read in your
column about a_ person
negatively. commenting on
the “me first” attitude that
this generation is seeming to
acquire, I would just like to
say that I think the “me first”
attitude. is a good one to
have. as long-as it is not
abused. When stop to think
about. who is the most. im-
portant person In my life, it
ts me. I am.the.one who has

to decide what's. good or bad .

for me}first,.Theré'are times
in’my: life where I've-had to.
think of me first.or I would”
not have survived. So long as
! use my attitude without
being selfish or uncaring
toward other human belags,
why wot me first? | oe

STEWART: You make your
point well worth considering

pedal is pressed

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by including the two phrases
starting with, “as long as.”
You say, “As long as the
attitude is not abused” and,
“as long as I use my attitude
without being selfish or
uncaring.” May I add
another “as long as”? It is
this: As long as you put the
“me first” idea at a level of
experience and = con-
sciousness and relatedness
that you honestly consider to
be of vital importance to the.
evolving of ‘your being “into

the sort of total life you want *

for yourself and for the
human family of which you

are a part.

In other words, if you are
keen. on true ~unselfishness,
you just surely put yodrself
in the top priority spot, in
order to be the sort who has

something (to share ke)

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‘On’ or ‘off’ with a toe touch

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thine own self be true” and
loving and- fulfilling, and

other people will not suffer
because of your way of life.

EERE IR RIO AE

1660 LONSDALE AVENUE (AT 19TH) NORTH VANCOUVER

985-8738

(OPEN EVERY THURSDAY 4 FRIDAY NIGHT UNTH 9)

~ STEWART: You feel drawn |

into being:a“good neighbo
and friend’and so,’ by a

you are having
would be “wise |
pressure him into being

kind of'neighbor, ‘You:know-

what her SAYS to you, but
try to ‘listen to ‘what he
MEANS, .not what he says.
He ‘means, “I“am a ‘snob.”
But ‘yout should fealized that’

nobody runs happily toward |
. snobbishness. One “doesn't

choose to be.a snob because
of feeling superior. Itis far
more liekely to be the
chosen way of someone who..
feels afraid because of his.
feelings of inferiority. I'm
guessing your husband has
such feelings and“is trying to
do something about them by
wearing his snob-mask. He
needs your love and support
and encouragement. He is
choosing a way that you feel
is inadequate and counter-
productive, but, for now, it
is his way. Don't fuss over it.
Feel what he is feeling and
give him your patient love
and support. But first. YOU

be a good neighbor. ,

& stability

and wicker

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Shown above, fine art print, brass candlesticks,

tion of accessories.

Cll - Wednesday, July 22, 1981 - North Shore News

Bill Docksteader
makes best in-town
deals on

Good
Used

Cars! at...

T2th and Kingsway!
879-6241. pL 5217

ira

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|

|

—S

Pnitin

,

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