Cl4-Sunday News, April6, 1980

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. His new
office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesda ys only) is for the

. But.once.it went too long, I

convenience of North Shore residents.

I've not called her for so
Jong, I dread doing it now. I
jast have no excuse. This is a
stupid letter because all

QUESTION: Tve backed
myself into: a commer and am
having - ‘a -difficult time
getting out of it. What I've

“done is meglect:a Iriend that I youll do is tell me to go
- have ‘not. really .wanted to. ‘phone her - right sway.
neglect at all. Imeanthereis Right?
no hig important reason why :
I have.gone so.long.without STEWART: Right! Go

getting in touch with her. ‘phone her right away. No, I
take that back. Don’t do it
right away. First of all, read

-over your letter again. It
may give you thé same help

‘it, gave me. When I read
what you ‘wrote I was

found ft harder aind harder to
do something about it.
Different times I have

wanted to see her or have
tunch with her, but because

QUESTION: think Pve just hook. That” was neat that I
started to learn something -: got off the hook, but I didn't
the hard way and I thought feel too good about it
you might make some because I wem the way F

comments that would be

of reckless ‘and away we
went. I kind of knew ‘fast
after we got into it that it was
not the smartest move Id
ever made. I wanted to.
change: my mind and back
out but iny friend did not -
have the same idea at all. He
kept saying it's O.K., don’t |
chicken out. So, Ekept going»
along. But I didn't want to. I
wanted to back off, but I.
didn't want him to think I
was chicken. Finally, we had
a fight over it and we split.
He kept on with what we
were doing and I got off the

ny pe:

QUESTION: Have you any
pet peeves?

STEWART: The one that
popped quickly into my
mind is related to feelings
about people who do not
return my books. I am still
unenlightened enough to

On choosing le

QUESTION: I'm wondering
how-lyou choose to use some
letters and choose to
eliminate others.

STEWART: I guess there
theorizer and I like it that

helpfal for me. You see, my we had a fight and my'iriend
. friend and I we'ddo wasn't around ‘anymore to
“a thing that I know rw was, sort of call the shots. I know
sort of duigh. But. we feltsort ‘now that he was, you know,

.. the sort of leader and I was

just going along against what
I really wanted to do. (Pm
trying to tell you afl this
without telling you what we

did and it’s hard to do).
Anyway, what I think I'm
beginning to. learn ts that
what I should have done was .
I should have had more self-
respect and done what I
knew I wanted to do instead

of going along with him.
Right? What do you say
about that?

STEWART: I really don't
need to say a thing. You are

think that péeve will be
cured in me the moment my
books are returned! But I
really know better than that.
So, I choose, instead, to

learn a better way, a way

that does not depend on
someone else other than me.
(Now don’t try to heip me

are two kinds of letters I
tend to climinate. First, the
kind that call on me to ip-
tellectualize about someone
else's theory in giving my
response. I'm not much of a
way. The second kind I

reminded that I have backed
myself into the same sort of
corner you've been in for too

’

-long. So, (inspired by your

letter) I did the ‘phoning I
have been postponing. It
worked fine. 'm glad I ‘did
it. It felt good. .

Now.then — go ‘phone, her
right away!

QUESTION: (This “question” :
-f from -Hayden and is

pointed in the direction of

the questioner immediately
_above.) :

Have you done it yet?

sO right. You : have latched
on to one of the most im-
portant things about life.
Once.in a while it’s almost
like we hear a voice coming
from inside us somewhere,
telling us which way to
choose, or which way to go,

-“ and éven, sometimes, which

way NOT to go.. All I can say
is “pay attention”
inner knowledge you have
been given. Only when you
misunderstand it does it let
you down. You-ear bank on
it. And it’s always there.
Perhaps we NEVER really
misunderstand it, but sure as
shooting, we sometimes
argue with it and even ignore
it. Such procedure makes us
out as losers. Respect your
inner wisdom that you are
beginning to get better
acquainted with. It’s always
available to you.

peeves?

overcome my. peeve by
refusing to return my books!
I would appreciate a LIT-
TLE bit of help while I am
trying to handle my own end

of it, rather than just
blaming you, gentle
borrower).

eliminate is in the “bad

taste” category. That is, |
avoid using any letter that
gives me a bad taste when |
consider printing it = or
responding to it.

escientificaly-based
couver, Usually. they are ie" chigmquelty sound
er” #fitnessvheatth information
_ from Winnipeg or Regina or se? ‘ scoed
some such place that really Ss | NORTH VANCOUVER CLASSES
has awful weather. What's IN LYNN VALLEY!
the use of grouching about FROMME ELEMENTARY
the weather? Where do they SCHOOL Road 6:00pm
romme hoa
chink itil get them? . Starts: Tu Jenniter Cempbel
ae _ tarts: Tuesday, April
STEWART: Such people are ALSO CONTINUING:
-a’ bother, all right. TH go 7 HIGHLANDS COMMUNITY on.
along’ with you on that. But - - 3150 Cawood St. 8:00 or 7:30
2 . “ Structors:
can you - me in on Sow, . Jennifer Campbell
‘something? Why/are pedple LONSDALE UNITED .
who grouch about the ‘ CHURCH A 3 mw.
, sdaie Ave. :
weather any worse than peo- instructor: Wendy Car

- shapes

\

QUESTION: If there’s
anything that bugs me it's
people who grouch about < 2
our weather here in Van- © oS

dynamic exercise to music

ple who grouch about people _ 4
who _grouch about the ‘~
weather? The weather, ‘iin all
and sizes and
temperatures is a part of our
reality, so we might as well
acceptit as it is.

People who gtouch ‘about
it come in all shapes, sizes
and temperatures too, sq I
suppose it is best to learn to
accept them — just like the
weather. Consider yourself
accepted!

JOIN ANY TIME!

: - Registered
Drop-in.

$1.50 per class
$2.00 per class

For information on programs
in other areas, please call‘

g2e- ~ae12 |

_24hr. Answering Service _.

to that |

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Write to me at the NORTH SHORE NEWS andi in-
clude in your letter a recent photograph and your
phone number. Ill call you as soon as | can and
set up an appointment.

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