JK - Weduesdas, Maret) 23, 1988

North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

‘DON’T INTERFERE WITH LOVE LIFE’
ent irks mol

Q. IT DISAPPROVE and
worry when my son sleeps
over aft his girlfriend's
parents’ home.

Should f contact her parents?
would want to be informed if I
were in theic place, even though
both the young people are over 21.

A. | understand your worrying,
but it’s their danghter’s decision to
ask him and theirs to run their
home.

You may disapprove for many
reasons such as religion, ethics or
prudence, and you should tell your
son that you disapprove. But don’t
tell on him. If he isn't doing his
job right, you don't tell his boss,
and you don’t interfere with his
love life. Those things concern him
and the other grown-ups he is in-
volved with.

Q. 1 went inte our garage to get
something and found my son, 10,
with the neighbor's daughter, 13,
in a compromising situation. Who
was compromising whom was a
question, since she is older and she
was giving him the manual stimu-
lation. I picked up the first thing
that came to hand, which was not
what I went there for, and waiked
out saying nothing and looking as
if f had not seen them.

A number of questions have
come to mind. Should I speak to
him about this? Isn't he too young
for this kind of thing? Can he
ejaculate at his age? Does this kind
of thing encourage or inhibit sex-
ual development? Can it be bad
for him? Should 1 tatk it over with
the girl’s mom and dad? Should I
tell my husband?

A. Say nothing to anyone. I don’t
say to encourage more of the
same, but one occurrence that you
happened. to see is not a thing to
raise a storm about. Your son is
young to have a complete sexual
experience. | doubt that he can
ejaculate — that comes with the
secondary sexual characterstics like
voice changing, chin fuzz, body
hair. A pre-pubescent boy can
stimulate himself, or be stimu-
lated, and this can produce plea-
surable sensations. He may even
have an orgasm — but without
ejaculation. This kind of activity
won’t strengthen or enlarge him
sexually, the way exercise and
muscle-building affect physique. It
won’t harm him, either.

Don't tell the girl’s parents —
raising her is their concern. But if
you ever see her doing something
dangerous, such as using alcohol
or drugs or having sex with an ad-
olescent boy, then let somebody
know.

Since you ask me if you should
tell your husband, | sort of hear
that you are afraid he will make a
bit deal of it. If that is the case I
would not tell him. On the other
hand, if this boy’s father has a
good record for keeping calm and
sensible about things, if you usual-
ly talk everything over together in
an amicable way, go ahead, but
ask your husband to keep quiet,
neither scolding nor kidding the
boy about this.

A. At 65, how can I obtain a better
and longer-lasting erection?

A. At any age a male will find that
sometimes he can get a better erec-
tion than at others — true at 65 as
at 25, But with advancing age nei-
ther man nor woman can expect
sexual activity to be the same as it
was years ago. The secret of good

sex as we go into later years is to
have a good understanding of
love-making skills and to have a
good relationship with one’s part-
ner. Partners should not put
pressure on each other, and they
should not have put pressure on
themselves. Don't expect the erec-
lions you used to have. J don’t say
there are no erections after a cer-
tain age — but be reasonable.
Certain kinds of sexual cn-
counters are not for the senior citi-
zen. The rough-and-tumble of age
25 is unlikely at your age. You
know, arthritic people can have

YOUR CHOICE OF:
e Eureka « Hoover
© Baycrest ¢ Panasonic
© Viking ¢ Sears

HOOVER

Introduces

NEW
CENTRAL «iy
VACUUM SYSTEM

Dr. Ruth

Ruth Westheimer

shared sex, but they have to pick
out comfortable positions and they

have to proceed gently. The older
man usually finds that he no
Jonger wants what are callea
psychogenic erections — those that
come entirely from sexy images,
whether sn a centrefold, from sce-
ing @ partner come into the
bedroom looking exciting. or from
mental images. Sometime in mid-
dle age or later that lusty fellow is
better stimulated to erection by
physical coniact, There can still be
great sex, but it is not a perfect
rerun of the great sexual episades
in his memary.

When you see your doctor for a
checkup, ask him about this. He

may refer you to a urologist for a
consultation. This is just good
sense, because some treatment may
be indicated. But the doctors do
not have a fountain of youth for
you. That you will find in your
mind and in the good relationship
with your partner.

And let me add that J have writ-
ten a pamphlet called How to [m-
prove Your Sex Life. This contains
information for any age! To ob-
tain a copy. send $1 and a self-
addressed, stamped, fegal-sized
envelope to Dr. Ruth/How to Im-
prove Your Sex Life. P.O. Box
19709, Irvine, Calif. 92713-9709,

LIGHTOLIER

ON SPECIAL!

MOVING PROJECTORS ON TRACK

aw

YA, Jowes Track.
1 Canopy Ki or Contset

ee

Track Heads
118. Joines Track
1 Conapy Kit of Cordset