44 —- Wednesday, May 6, 1932 ~ North Shore News Hostess victim of fault-finding frenzy DEAR MISS MANNERS — Our family kas not been a cute?” with no extra letters in the close one. Both emotionally and geographically, we are Pronunciation means that the Judith Martin separated. However, we recently organized our first family reunion. Almost everyone came, and it seemed to go reasonably well on the surface. One of my sisters brought along a friend for her 12-year-old daughter. Although I felt this was completely out of place, I said nothing, as we were unaware of her intention earlier. The girl was accepted by all. When 1 took some pictures, it became awkward. I sensed the un- fortunate situation, but felt these pictures were memories of a once-in-a-lifetime occasion. i was as polite as I could be, but I ex- cluded ber. Tam now the victim of a fault- finding frenzy. 1 am accused of being rude and insensitive. This new ‘excuse’’ is causing a rift in our family. 1 feel Hurt and unjustly judged. 1 think the lack of understanding of customary practices is what created the situation — not me. I would appreciate a note on the Proper manners for inviting Strangers to a family reunion or similar occasion. GENTLE READER — The eti- quette of an invitation is that one does not bring uninvited guests, or, if the event is cooperatively planned, one asks in advance what policy about other guests will be .. Satisfactory to everyone. ’___ Miss Manners is sure you will _like to hear that. ‘ , But right now, she is less con- cerned with that general rule than she is with the particular case of being nice to a guest, especially a child, however the guest happened to be there. And there you will not like what Miss Manners has to say. Making it clear to a child at a party that she is an outsider, if net actually an intruder, is rude and cruel. Miss Manners can think of no justification ‘for it. The child herself was innocent of the arrangements, and yet she would bear the brunt of the embarrass- ment. Anyway, pictures are supposed to reflect the occasion at which they were taken. And this occa- sion happened to include your niece’s friend. Why could the : (@ ke Pamper her on Mother’s Day with flowers. A bouquet lets her know how important she is to ‘you. Stop by today. MISS MANNERS guest not be included and iden- tified as such in your albums? That is not to say that you could not have gotten pictures that omitted her, cither by posing a few of, for example, your gen- eration only; or even by asking her to take one of the group pic- tures for you, which would put her out of camera range by being in a position of trust and honor behind it. But to do this in a way chat made it clear to the child that she did not belong at the event is a greater transgression of etiquette than the one of bringing an unin- vited guest. As your family was, by your account, not close to begin with and quick to take what you con- sider to be an ‘‘excuse’’ for feuding, it is perhaps well that your niece cultivate friends. She will need them, DEAR MISS MANNERS — My fiance and [I are trying to finalize the members of the wed- ding party. Should the ring bearer and the flower girl be a certain age, or is it up to each couple to decide? GENTLE READER — The ring bearer and the flower girl are supposed to be of an age to make everyone smile and nudge one another and say ‘“‘Awwwww, looooooook"’ during the proces- sional. A mere ‘‘Don’t they look ’ JUST FOR MO Ararer’ Day ie UNG Va * Flowers * Plants * Gifts Park & Tilford Centre North Vancouver 986-8783 851 Hornby Street Vancouver, 688-2222 Don’t forget Mother’s Day SPECIAL Receive a $5 gift certificate with min. $30 purchase young people are old enough to be junior bridesmaid and usher. What age produces the desired affect is something that the bridal couple may decide. DEAR MISS MANNERS — When our son and his bride-to-be sent out their wedding invitations, they forget to include enough postage. The amount overdue was 23 cents each. The bride’s mother stopped her posimar and retrieved as many as she could. I contacted three post offices in our area and had them cull out the invitations. I then paid the postage due before they were sent on. However, many went out of state and we don’t know how to handle this embarrassment. My daughter laughingly sug- gested that we should simply in- clude a little pile of coins at each place at the reception dinner. GENTLE READER — Your daughter has the right idea — not the one about refunding change at the reception, but the one about making a joke of it. But you can’t wait until the reception. You must deal first with the emergency possibility that some of these invitations did not arrive at their destinations. You -- or better yet, your son and his bride-to-be — must now dash off amusing little notes — or make telephone calls -- explaining the problem and apologizing. It wouldn’t take much of a joke to turn this into something memorably funny. There is com- edy cnough already in the situa- tion of a flustered bridal coupte. LOSS? See us for good hearing § aid service — sales, repairs, 3 batteries and advice. Governmeni Licensed. ASK AEOUT OUR TRIAL SERVICE. North Western Hearing Centre Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-5 Sat. 9-1 : 965-5552 1910 Lonsdale : vancouver HEAVY DUTY WASHER ; Six programs and two wash/spin J speed combinations. Save energy with 3-position water . level selector. Includes bleach dispenser & filter. LARGE CAPACITY DRYER Five programs and three temperature selections dry all your fabrics safely. $399 | 5899 DELUXE DISHWASHER Ultra-quiet operation results from superior insulation. 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