9 - Sunday, fuly 15, 1990 - North Shore News A Place To Go When You're Pregnant And Need Support: | GIRTHRIGHT | 5 Call 987-7313 » Free Pregnancy Test « 229 Lonstale mi Vancouver Cail 1 North Vancouver 687-7223 © open lines © West Vancouver public office. | eagerly anticipated seeing him waving like a circus clown along Marine Drive during the morning rush hour, but through the entire campaign, he failed to make an appearance. Others had balloons, kids, streamers, signs and a sea of smiling faces. AFTER WEEKS of whining misery, severe lectures to divine providence, and scraping moss off the patio fur- niture, summer has blossomed forth. It is the Vancouver interlude where we can revert to cave man forms of cook- ing, attire, grooming and housing: oh the joys of canvas or a $50,000 U-Hau! trailer complete with compact disc. For another $400,000 you could make it seem just like home. 926-6242 B 1852 MARINE DR. WEST VAN Between swatting mosquitos or caking on the aloe cream, ponder this intellectual offering from Stephen Leacock: While we welter, In the swelter Of the Pestilential Heat Drinking Sodas In Pagodas But this is a political column? You're kidding? If the Phantom of the Opera suddenly started singing Knees Up Mother Brown, there would be a good reason. The principles of journalism don’t tax the outer limits of human intelligence. Here’s a Should we really trust the world in the hands af people who think 125° F Houston is a great place Jor a vacation?’’ At the corner of the Street It seems to me That it would be My highest aspiration To Sail Away On a Holiday Of Arctic Exploration. Two weeks of warmth and sun- shine and the moans will start once again. If we are graced with such a period, watch for the first day of heavy rain. There will be a smile on every face. People will be fed up with barbecues, lawn watering, insects, sunburns, rest- less nights in bed, playing with the kids, exercise or wandering around half naked. The boaters will need a few weeks to repair themselves and their craft, prob- lems disclosed by a sudden burst of activity. Back in the good old days of limitless energy, it was weeks like the one just past that the utility companies craved. Like a panther ready to spring on an unsuspec- ting prey, their ad agents were prepared to saturate the media with air conditioner advertise- ments. They had to be quick in Vancouver, to capture the precise moment when the perspiration was as thick as the consumer wallet. For they knew the lesson of another Canadian poet, this one named Campbell: The short Canadian summer, Whose every lonesome breath Holds hint of Autumn and Winter As life holds hints of death. eet lesson for all of you who aspire to lurk around outside the cabinet Office like a pack of nincompoops to ask predictable questions: (‘*‘Why did the asphalt truck bash into the camper van?’’ ... ‘What will you do if Gorbachev is booted out in Moscow?”’ ... “Should AIDS victims be helped to die?’’) Prior to embarking on your first big scoop, ask yourself what is foremost on the minds of your readers, listeners or viewers? How many of you sat around the barbecue this week discussing Meech Lake, the G-7 meetings in Houston, or democratic change in Eastern Europe? Italians and Germans may have talked about soccer. The Germans certainly discussed reunification. Golfers might have applauded Dave Barr’s Skins Game victory in Toronto and Wimbledon gave tennis tendons a break. It’s hard to write about German golf and political union. And how do you blend in tennis, Italians and sports? One searches for a common thread in an attempt to weave an audience. Most of the time, the news does the job. kee Should we really trust the world in the hands of people who think 125°F Houston is a great place for a vacation? It’s like a nameless friend of mine who once boldly ran for PLEASE HELP Us...| Accused of electoral negligence, my friend protested: ‘‘ Would you vote for people who don’t have the good sense to come in out of the rain?” We did. Sorting out the world economy is tough business. Larry Bell and B.C. Hydro have missed another opportunity: we should be supply- ing the power to run the air con- ditioners and Mulroney could have come home with an improv- ed balance of trade. It was par- ticularly fascinating to hear about the prudent expenditure on out- door air conditioners under the reviewing stand. Let’s heat up the North Atlantic so they can have a swim. I wonder what they think of outdoor air conditioning in Libya? All seven of the leaders from Maggie Thatcher of Poli Tax Fame, the diplomat Koh! basking in the moment of heroism, Japan’s Toshiki Kaifu attempting to be the first non-criminal PM in a generation, Brian — ‘‘I’m darn- ed pleased to be one of the big guys’? — Mulroney and the others, find being a statesman a pleasant escape from their ungrateful niggling public. My well-thumbed bible of mod- ern political strategy puts it this way. ‘‘Most Prime Ministers have run out of steam by the end of their first year and ground toa halt by the end of the second. Then you can steer them into the world statesman role and your troubles are over.” Mulroney did take time, how- ever, to visit David Brinkley and friends on ABC. They asked him about his low popularity. The PM talked about his last resurrection. This also brought to mind another gem from my trusty handbook: “‘The useful life of a govern- ment is about 18 months. The first year is taken up with discovering that they can’t do what they promised in their manifesto. The second year is spent finding out what they can do. Then there are 18 months of useful work. After that, the elec- tion is too close, so there follows 18-months of pre-election paraly- sis,’’ — from Yes, Prime Minister, by Jonathon Lynn and Anthony Jay. e to provide milk, bread, fruits and vegetables, etc. ..FEED THE HUNGRY IN OUR COMMUNITY © $20 helps us buy a weekly bag ci groceries for one family © $60 helps sustain a family for one month ¢ $720 assists that same family for a year Please help those in need. All donations are tax deductible. LIP AND MAIL WITH YOUR.GIET TODAY . YES! 1 want to provide food for the hungry. ' oO$20 O $60 0 $720 DOther $_..____, > City, Province §= Postal Code 13 THE FOOD BANK = 1650 Quebec Street, Vancouver, B.C. V6A 3L6 5 699-3663, ARDAGH HUNTER TURNER Barristers & Solicitors IMPAIRED DRIVING [986-4366] iS 300-1401 LONSDALE, NORTH VANCOUVER, B.C. 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