4- Friday, March 1, 1985 - North Shore News Word games speeds it speeds you up 1 et’s face it, if you travel around at high I'm sure as everyone has noticed it’s the travelling salesmen, politicians, media folks, professional athictes, performers, and the executive class on both the bureaucratic and private sec- tor sides (plus maybe a few cops) who do most of the jet- setting. ER ACN strictly personal Bob Hunter py Although nowadays you have. to add Indians, en- vironmentalists, terrorists, kids, holidayers (mostly relired people), and = yes, lecturers. The ‘lecture circuit’’ is a fairly well-known modern phenomenon. It is a slightly- mystic trail which owes its en- tire existence to the cathode tube and Boeing. { have a confession to make. (I’m sorry, I was rais- ed as a Catholic, and no mat- ter how much I’ve tried to lapse, they had me until | was nine, you know?) So here it is: I have been guilty in my time of travelling along the lecture circuit, spouting random bits of ‘ wisdorn to ye masses. Masses. Well, actually, most of the lectures have oc- curred in academic settings, sometimes students, most often teachers themselves. The teachers have money, you see, to stage conventions every year, Teachers’ conventions are wonderful things. Everybody gets all dudded up and they rent the ballroom in the swankest hotel in town for a party. They rotate the business among the big hotels so as not to alienate local business, That keeps the local press from hounding them. { mean, if the advertisers are happy, happy. happy, what editorial writer in his right mind is gonna complain about a bunch of teachers having a good time until late at night across the street? “$Ho# sroNG S Hey! Consenting adults, eh? But | digress... } was just at a teachers’ convention in Edmonton, giving an hour-long rap about how doom daesn't automatically Joam = any more, even if 1 used to think it did. Inspirational stuff. 1 expected them to be crying in the aisles by the time | got done. They applauded and they seemed quite happy, but, you know, they didn’t go roaring our of that room en masse to change the universe. Ah well, neither did 1. Instead, I got back onto a plane to Vancouver, enjoyed the wine, marvelled at how beautiful the stewardesses were, and reflected nervously on whether i had served humanity or done the whole planet a vast dis-service. Guilt, What more need 1} say? No matter what. Guilt. It's lonely up there at the mike, especially if you can’t make out your notes because there’s some huge, bulbous metal thing in front of your - face that. your nose keeps bumping against, and the feedback if you happen to breathe on the thing makes everyone cringe in pain. Then, of course, sooner or later you get lost in your detailed notes. You turn, par- ched (it is, after all, just shortly after dawn and you’re as hungover as the audience) and take a gulp of water, on- ly to turn back and find that you have lost your place and who are all these strange peo- ple anyway? ' Panic, of course, is an /ever-present threat. It tends ;to want to set in when you jlook up and notice that the ' gorgeous young blonde in the : seventh row, who has been eyeballing you so intensely so far, is now actually reading a comic! Ah well. Such are - the agonies us lecturers have to endure as we sail through the sky, glancing down every once in a while, stifling a yawn, at the panorama of the, Rocky Mountains in winter, far, far below. Awesome? Whew! { think jet travel causes brain damage. ! really do. But, gawd, it’s fun! ! think that’s the only reason people do it. So, anyway, Mom, I went to Ed- monton Thursday night, had a few drinks, inet some in- teresting people, gave a talk (went over my time limit by eight minutes) about how neat things are gonna be dur- ing the next million years (if we play our cards right) and then | came home. Got home by noon Friday. I met some really nice peo- ple. too. Thieves hit gas TWO ARMED bandits made off with a small amount of cash when they held up a Pay-N-Save gas Station early Monday. According to the North Vancouver RMCP, the holdup occurred when two men entered the station and 22nd Ave. at Rupert St. Vancouver confronted the male atten- dant with a small handgun. The suspects obtained the’ cash, then fled on foot. Although police dog Dane picked up the scent, he lost it some distance away from the station. Police say they believe the men had a vehicle 10 AM-5 PM Stongs Edgemont Village 3151 Woodbine Ave. N.V. waiting for them. 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