CB - Wednesday, June 29, 1983 - North Shore News

LIVING IS LOVING

QUESTION: [m afraid I am
a bit too much of a tradi-
tiomalist. I don't adapt easily
to sew developments
especially when they have to

relation-

ships. And if sex is involved,
I find fit very difficult to go
slong with some of the new
behavior patterns.
‘Traditionally, the theory
seems to have been that men

When we are talking about
marriage, which both of us
want, she says that while she
fs not PLANNING to have

such is the case. She says she
cannot entertain the idea of
promising to confine herself
exclusively to one man ‘and

I know I love her and I
feel sure of her love for me.
But because of that
love, I find it very very hard
to accept her way of life. I
know things are changing a
lot, but I simply cannot feel
right about going into a mar-
riage with an agreement that
extra marital sex must be ac-
cepted as a probability.

I want to marry her, but |
simply can’t give her the
green light she insists upon.
What now?

On love, sex and marriage

STEWART: Your lady says
she is not PLANNING on
having extra-marital sex.
Has it occurred to you she
could mean she is actually
intending NOT to have
extra-marital sex, but does
not want to go into marriage
having made specific pro-
mises to you that could cur-
tail her freedom to make her
own choices?

H you find it too difficult
to accept her, as. she is,
without any specific expec-
tations of her, then you
would be foolish to enter in-
to marriage with her. She
has one sort of concept
about marriage and love and
sex and you have another.
Happily melding the two
could well be beyond you.

You ask, “What now?”
Well, certainly not marriage,
in view of how you are both
thinking. Why not give it
some time and allow your
love to give direction to your
unfolding?

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual. family or group counselling.

Don‘t make yourself forget

QUESTION: I have to be
carefal pot to lét myself go
fm chis letter because I am
very sad. My boyfriend
rather suddenly told me it's
All over for us and he has
taken off. I know he has that
sight and ff that's the way he
feels, t's better from him to
say so, bat I can’t get him
out of my head and heart. It
has been five weeks now.

How can I forget him?

STEWART: Why should you
forget him? You must have
had some great times
together, and some difficult
ones, and you will not forget
them. 1 don't suggest you
TRY to remember those
tames, but when they come
to mind, there ts no need to
fight them. Enjoy your good
memories!

Another thing to do 1s to
be willing to get on with your

Life... yours the joy it
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life as soon as you get a few
signals that you are ready. A
separation like yours is a bit
like death and after a period
of shock, there follows a
time of grief before the time
of recovery comes along.
Some people grieve longer
than others and each must
take his own length of time.
But the recovery time will
come and it will be a joy to
you. Don't TRY to forget.
but be willing to LIVE.

Love works. It May draw
you into marriage — happi-
ly. Or, it may steer you away
from marriage — happily.
Until you are more sure, why
hot postpone any major
decision-making? Mean-
while, do NOT postpone en-
joying your unfolding. You'll
know what and when to
choose. Meanwhile — EN-
JOY!

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WHITE COCKATIEL
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NANDAY CONURE

reg. 299.99
MOUSTACHE PARAKEET
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reg.3

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reg, 1299.99 —.
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