30 - Sunday, September 18, 1988 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES ae te othe ASSISt 4 DEAR MISS MANNERS — After a meeting I attended in a nearby city, the woman who conducied it invited me and another gentleman to Junch. The day was warm, sunny and extremely windy. I must point out that the lady was appropriately dressed for business in a conservative blue print dress. In the almost gale- force wind, it was apparent that miss manners Judith Martin she was having ‘an impossible time keeping her dress dowa while caz- vying 2 purse and briefcase. I felt sorry for her and decided it was best simply not to react. The third member of our party was not so sympathetic. He was quite amused at her embarrassment and joked with her in a way which bordered on harassment. During lunch, this continued to the point where ke remarked that his wife didn’t wear a slip either, and he even commented about the type of panty hose she was wear- ing. Should I have offered to carry her brieferse so she could better hold the folds of her dress, or would that have been insulting? Should I have mentioned that I thought the third person’s remarks were rude? GENTLE READER -— Ladies’ Choice now often means having to choose between being a good sport and charging sexual harassment. As it is difficult to conduct business while doing the latter, a lady’s choosing the former does not mean that she is happy with it. Probably she would — and Miss Manners certainly does — com- mend you for your kind attention to her difficult situation. You might have offered to carry her briefcase, without showing undue excitement about the nature of the problem, but ignoring the difficulty was also a polite solu- tion. The way to end the other person’s unsavory talk would have been to say to him coolly, ‘‘I really don’t think we came here to discuss Miss Trefoil’s underwear’’ and then immediately to turn to her with a business question. BEAR MISS MANNERS — I was in a bar with a female acquain- tance when a Situation developed which seemed to pit proper eti- quette against my personal convic- tions. As we were talking, she took out a cigarette and, from her expres- sion, I could tell she expected me to light it for her. I told her that I do not condone smoking and would not become an active party to her ruining her lungs; therefore, she would have to light it herself. She stated that it is proper cti- guette for a man to light a lady’s cigarette. What should I have done in this situation? GENTLE READER — Miss wind- EO WW it W Omar Manners is sorry to report that she can’t find any proper etiquette, for pitting purposes, in this anecdote. It is. incorrect to demand a courtesy. It is incorrect to smoke in front of someone who is of- fended by smoke. And, finally, it is incorrect to police another per- son’s habits. But Miss Manners has a simpler solution here than that of arresting you both on etiquette felonies. No rule of etiquette ever required a gentleman to carry matches or a lighter. You could easily have said to the bartender, ‘‘The lady would like a light,’? and allowed him to do the dirty deed. As for your personal convic- tions, you may excuse yourself from the presence of cigarette smoke, telling the lady you will re- join her when she is finished. PURINA "atornational P Pallet. School ROYAL ACADEMY OF DANCING METHOD Grand Opening & Registration = September 25, 1988 - Noon-4pm Classes for children (3 & up) and adults - all levels ¢ AIR CONDITIONED STUDIO * LARGE PARKING AREA Nicola Stewart 986-9026 Diana Power The international Plaza, Marine Dr, & Capilano Rd BISCUITS Pacific Language Institute Bulk ENGLISH CLASSES For Internationa! Students & Visitors © Daytime: Intensive & Immersion © All levels & Monthly registration ® Evening: TOEFL, writing, pronunciation, conversation * Friendly atmosphere — English only Call Robyn Inman at 688-8330 #303-1155 Robson Street, Vancouver, B.C, EIGHT | AVGHERS WHISKAS CAT FOOD 383 g. 88° KITTY KIT CAT LITTER 10 kg KAT PAK DISPOSABLE CAT LITTER BOX SQ 8s MISS MEW CAT FOOD 170g CATNIP MOUSE WEIGHTLOSS. ipa, Ae) (Se LOSE WEIGHT 20% FASTER You won't believe your scale! Ournew 1988 Quick Success* Program is so unique, it actually melts pounds away 20% faster than before! And you'll stay healthy, pound after pound. There's never been a better way to lose weight faster. FLEA COLLARS Sp 8s JOIN NOW! HALF PRICE OFFER! SAVE $11 Pay only $11 to join. Join before September 24 at: NORTH VANCOUVER #102, 123 East 15th St. «Mon § 0086 300m Tue. 9 00am, 5.0086 30pm “Wed. 6 30pm *Tru 12 00 ncon &6 30pm +Sat 9 00am Call: 434-2134 THE NEW QUICK SUCCESS* PROGRAM *Fow tot subsequent weaes $750 Visa and MasterCard accegied at lucations lot prepayment CWaight Walchers Inieinational Ing (1988) Oxnet of Ihe Waaght Watchars and Quick Success Trademarks Wegtt Watchers of Bitisn Columb Lid tagestarnd user Ad ngns esarvad Sale prices effective tili Oct Ist. 133 E. 14th, North Vancouver ERE CY AUVSYGAl! NYSE PET FOOD MART