32 - Sunday, March 20, 1988 - North Shore News

PARTY OUT OF BOUNDS
Uncivilized guests not
to be welcomed in home

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I am at a loss about a recent
party I attended, a costume affair that attracted a large
crowd of people I knew from work, and had much free

flowing of spirits.

My spouse and I got into the
spirit of things by finding costumes
we were liberally complimented
on, and even being mentioned as
runners-up in the costume contest.
However, it seems people were so
inebriated at this fete as to be
wrestling on the floor at one point,

screaming at the tops of their
lungs, and leaving their spouses at
the party because the aforemen-
tioned were so obnoxiously soused.

I bave never considered myself a
prude, and I did have some mo-
ments of fun at this affair, but I
was embarrassed to have my wife
witness such a mess,

1 have been driek many times in
my life, but have never wrestled on
the floor with another man in a
drunken stupor, nor left my wife
because she was too drunk to be
seen with, nor screamed like a
banshe in public. Well — perhaps
at 2 fraternity party, Sut not past
the age of 25. Everyone at this
party was older than that.

One of my major concerns for
the future is that I'd-like to host
some sort of affair at my house,

Survival
skills taught

will allow searchers to
automatically recognize tracks left
behind in the event the child is
lost. .

. In addition to notifying others
of their whereabouts, lone hikers
should leave an itinerary on the
dashboard of their car.

“If people have the enthusiasm
to take risks to explore areas, they
should be prepared for anything,”’
she said.

But as things stand, Tunnoch
said most. people are unprepared
for -the unexpected. While the
fashion statement of choice on the
Street, on the trail jeans soak up
water, freeze, draw out body heat
and get heavy when wet. The best
type of clothing to wear is wool or
layers of clothing protected by a
waterproof shell.

“Te amazes me the amount of
people who don’t take along head
gear. We teach the kids if their feet
are cold to put on a toque,’’ Tun-
noch said.

If you do find yourself
disoriented, a good move would be
to locate the nearest Amabalis Fir,
or Pacific Silver Fir tree and stay
there for shelter rather than risk
injury by trying to find your way
out. The distinctive notched or
“‘M’’ tipped pine needles are also
edible and contain vitamin C. ‘In
a survival situation there is some-
thing they can chew on,”’ she said.

The cost of the survival program
is $7 per person and $20 for a fam-
ily of four. For more information
call Seymour Ski Country at 986-
2261.

but Um afraid ta. No one I talked
to about this behavior seemed the
least bit surprised or appalled at it.
Tam (terribly confused.
GENTLE READER — You want
to entertain these people in your
house?

All right. Miss Manners suggests

miss
manners
Judith Martin

you remove your furniture, in-
crease your property insurance,
and throw an afternoon tea party
to which you invite these people's
mothers as well as themselves.

Had everyone looked mortified
afterward, Miss Manners might
have been prepared to suggest that
this was a freak evening. No, not
really. Anyone who even has the
concept of deserting a drunken
spouse, rather than acting respon-
sibly and perhaps even compas-
sionately toward that person, has

not any idea of the rudiments of

civilization.
DEAR MISS MANNERS — Two
weeks ago, I had a small dinner
party for my son’s fourth birth-
day. I invited my mother and her
fiance, my brother and his family,
my sister, and a cousin and her
family.

My husband and I have been
separated for almost a year, and
our divorce will be final in a month

LIFESTYLES

or two. I did not invite him to
dinner, but I did (eli him he would
be welcome to come and have bir-
thday cake with us. He refused,
but that is not the problem.

It seems that my soon-to-be-ex-
in-laws felt they should have been
invited. They have repeatedly
ranted and raved to members of
my family about what a terrible
thing I did to them. I just felt it
would not be proper at this time,
not to mention how awkward it
would be. I didn't do it to be mean
or rude; I just thought it was the
correct thing to do.

How do I handle situations like
this in the future? What happens if
i remarry or even just have a
boyfriend I would lke to invite? 1
can’t see myself with a boyfriend
and my ex-in-laws all at the same
dinner table.

I should add that my husband
and his parents did have their own
party the following week, so I
can’t understand why they are still
screaming about mine.

With the divorce rate being what

it is, I'm sure there are many peo-
ple in the same situation. Please
hetp!
GENTLE READER — The
divorce rate being what it is, peo-
ple have got to fearn to get on
amiably in spite of it. What
bothers your former husband's
parents is not that they were rele-
gated to the status of ex-in-laws,
which could explain leaving them
out of many events in your life,
but that they were being treated as
ex-grandparents, which they are
not.

Your son will always be related
to these people. Special occasions
in his life, such as graduations and
his wedding, will always have to be
shared with his father and paternal
relatives.

If you did not want to invite
them, you could have made it
possible for your son to spend part
of the day with them.

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