ve te fo { ° pees ead roe - "STEWART: | "answer - it’s a whimper! Pm “sick: QUESTION: Pm having ‘a ar very difficult time. 40 arrive at “a. definite decision about a _ matter that is very important. “to: me. and to some: others. _ ‘My alternatives are quite : clear cut. It seems to me the - - answer lies in one or other of. only: two choice: In either ease, it is going to be very | hard forme; And in either _. case it will be hard: for. some “ others. I see*'ne” way of | making a choice ‘that will not ‘seem like the v wrong. one: The _cost of leaving my husband. will be’ exorbitant. dent ‘mean: financially) and. the cost . caf remaining " with fand “I - QUESTION: ‘This. ‘is not a - : ‘question. - it?s a blast! | Pm sick ~-and tired a nauseating commercialism that’ surrounds.” and I-want to let your: 45,000 “ readers know it. There now, I've done it. of . the and ~ tired — of... the iauseating boredom ™ ‘that surrounds | me “because © of - _ people “like . you. who. Keep a a bleating about: ‘commercial- * ism and Christmas. It’s such old old:news!-1 don’t like the “ commercialism either, but 1 QUESTION: 15° Christnias- exclusively Christian? : STEWART: Most. aspects of Christmas had their origin in| ‘the Christian tradition, how: ever, insofar as Christmas ts “exclusively. Christian’. it: is - hi ‘northernmost in the world, but also one of the smallest. | Yet it produces some of the finest: wines made anywhere. ~\.uniform, in quality; smooth ° Jight. fragrant and refreshing © | freuen ta be thirst- “quench: ng: . “Christmas 7 This’ is ‘not an : him will be astronomical. 1 ‘see. no way of - ‘making a happy decision. How: im hell do T° eo that sort -of z ‘quandry? _ . ‘STEWART: That particular choice is almost always a very difficult one. First of all, ascertain whether you have already .made the: decision and are postponing, not the decision but the activating of | it. You may have decided, but find yourself loathe to. admit. to the decision and to telling your husband. about it. Secondly," T believe whe- ther you have" already: made a know lam not: captivated by |. it-any.more than’ I choose to. . | be. I-have chosen to be the. change I want to see happen 7 instead of trying to change other peopie. Most of the. “time kam able’ to. catch the real SPIRIT of Christmas and share love and joy. rather than ‘‘things’’.. But some- times, ‘sadly, I turn my back | ‘on’ sharing; and, as in the first of this letter, I- forget. -about: ‘sharing: and’ let off a blast . instead. “My: © next un-Christmas-like Ploy” is to blame: YOU™ for ~it! ° Sorry about that* ‘good buddy. ri back off and start again with a MERRY CHRISTMAS! ‘Without too: much Profound ; thinking | about’ L. find myself | ‘wanting ie’ say that - ANYTHING ‘that is ‘‘exclu- _Sively.,.Christian’’. will-_ find difficulty i in convincing me it iS Christ-tike. (That rumbling -sound”. you -hear is a few _ thousand ‘good: people: rolling | . over. in ‘their’ graves!) ” Equally at. home fur the Ag ‘most formal. dinners or impromptu affairs, German white wines go with. every~ . thing. While some.red wines | are ‘produced,’ mostly" white | _owines are exported... from _ Germany, including both still‘ “and sparkling wine (Sekt). You'll find. ‘Germain’ wines: jn both. green and. brown bottlés,. which makes’ selec- tion relatively. simple. Green ‘bottles contain wines from. _ the Mosel-Saar-Ruwer area - “light, delicate, fragrant Brown’ bottles hold the-famed _ Rhine wines '- ‘authoritative, ‘elegant .and. distinctive.” A /] , flagon-shaped - green boitle . Contains Franconian wines - robust, | earthy... rand, inh ~ Selection is’ further simpli fied: O85 aresult of: Germany's. “very” ‘strict’ :'state-controlied. _ rogulations. | er ae oy Ce ase aed Cr ee “the: ‘decision or. not, ‘help in’ ‘discovering’ ‘if, . fact;there: may be some ‘third: " the issue.” one FELEPHONE 986: 1146 would: be very wise to seek” and ‘perhaps ‘even fourth alternative. Sometimes. we narrow our choices to two _ and. ‘close. our. “minds to others: Perhaps. the. third or” fourth options’ would | be. costly too, but in. the ‘tong run,’ more. rewarding. For. : example, feeling. the way you: do, and. having worked. as: long ‘as: you | have: on your. . decision,” it’ would be very hard to start all-over again - now and accept . help in : finding new-values in your » . Marriage reiationship. BUT ss . it might. be what you. are* really wanting. It would be'a’ shame to- move. away from. what. you. really” want because , it seems hard to you. Throw - out all your. arguments and 7 start again! | QUESTION: You hear about crazy arguments in a family, but how’s this? My.. wife wants a little dog and I want ‘a big. one. I won't. bore you | with our arguments for little and big, but before you fall off your chair laughing at us for being ‘so’ ‘Stapid, 1 want you to know we: are: really © FIGHTING. over’ this argu-- ment. Once‘a silly difference becomes a fight, what do you do? oan . STEWART: Right off, Pd ‘suggest. ‘that the .one.-who . feels he is‘ feels the ‘fight is based on:a: - “silly différence’’ might well = ‘be the. one: ‘to ‘back off.” . “so Stupid’ ’ and. Or, you might compromise | by trying on a medium dog for size. Or get a cat-or a boa constrictor; OF, ‘safer still, a guitar, or, if you.are- ‘wealthy, a” nice” steak... Your: decision is not about big: ‘or little, it’s abo want to feel “so stupid’’ over “silly | difference’ " we car cnr Lot he ca) Paes Fe . 7 : “you. : ~ Individual,- _. counselling. . ers -- Mis -new: office in: the: Plaza’ -. Tuesdays - only) STEWART: L “remember: too t whether you: Thar Ss) - QUESTION: It would be. _. > typical of this day’ and age for . your paper to refuse to print . . ily: letter, bat here’ goes - anyway. My wife.and 1 both “feel geod about the fact that’ -. welhave become less and less © inhibited sexually both with. “each other and- with other - “and our moral: attitudes. ‘Bat soot, Gown with | ‘THEIR “morals ae live gos. happily with “the values we 3 have chosen? They have no . ments about: ‘us ‘and. attach 261-6242 for: ‘appointments. for: family or. : “group STEWART: | You” SOUND like it’ Sa free world. ‘International — ‘in‘is‘not*very free: ‘We-may not.\‘have the right’? to 9 judge. and label, but the cold fact is that we: do. it. In this free. . is. for. the ‘conventence - “ot: “North ° Shore: residents. . - QUESTION: Last years some- ‘one. wrote you and ‘asked what you wanted for. Christ- mas and J can- ‘remember “your. ‘answer, What ‘do. you, ‘and apologized ‘for © want THIS year? . returning. the books and they _-haven’t done it yet! (in all '..fairness, -< others’ ~ ‘came -.. through with alacrity). Now it's ‘the same this year. 1 gon’t write in. and -ask me / want ‘my f friends and enemies | who wrote > Alacrity!. ‘ AIDS J _ partners. We. ‘feel. ‘comfort- Z what Pera “OS is. the oe * right. to ‘make .pronounce- . fos Freelance: ‘Counsellor ‘Haydon “Stewart ‘may be ‘reached at labels to us, It’s a free world a ~ are. now” making.: may be _ a ; happily “accepted | ‘in. some . “don't: “future time (or they-may not) . but you are not living. THEN, -The world: you. actually LIVE , ‘don’t agree- with you. | Per- call to: return books they’ ve. = “borrowed from me. : ‘Last: year“ | when I. made that. -request, __ two or: three. people ‘phoned | not... - "Dave Buck sid our / friendly. staff URS | | SALES-SERVICE-PARTS - 9 Marine Dr, Nth. Van. 980: 2att ‘world; you can’t tun the red lights. without being: judged ‘and labelled: Right? “I. too. would be happier if-we were “more. free of judging,but it is. _THIS:world I'm living in, not “some perfect o1 ‘one: Tve dream- ed Ups . = You-and your wife can be . . “more free than you appear to | - berty..I¢ fits our philosophy ~ however. You -are:making | your choices. and.are upset by ’ others 3 ‘not- ‘cheering’ for you, © even though you KNOW they - will-not do that.: ‘So, you can € become’, MORE: free by | ant tot Why