MES iY DEAR MR. Thomas Woods, whoever you are. Thank you for the lovely review of my book The Best cnd Worst of Doug Collins you did for the Evening Wimp, otherwise known as the Vancouver Sun. I thought I had become an unmentionable at Pacific Press. But thanks to you I have popped up there again, just like the jolly old bad penny. I even got a headline. “Collins, as usual, the cur- mudgeon,”’ it read. That reflected your story all ‘ight, but someone should be more careful. ‘‘Curmudgeon’’ is a word-whose meaning has lost. its edge, possibly through overuse. himself as a chap who tells it like it is.” I style myself as nothing of the sort, Woods. And have never done so. [ write what I think, it is true, but I try to avoid bad English and cliches, and ‘‘tellizsg it like it is” is both. Do try to be more accurate, so that your lance may find more . work. . You had not finished your se- cond paragraph when you made another error. I left .the Van- “‘,,.d¢ is better to write for a small newspaper that allows one to roam one’s beat than to write for a big one and suffocate from sheer frustration. Ask around.’’ These days, il it conjures up im- ages of friendly old farts smoking their pipes and spitting a bit. It is almost a term of endearment. In fact, it means ‘‘a surly or miserly person.’’ Either way, Pacific Press with its vast resources Could have come up with something better. “‘Bucket-head,’’ for instance. Or “crupper-buttocks.’” But headlines are not my sub- . ject for today, Woods. You are, | because I want to help you in the ways of journalism while doing a review on you. A tit always deserves a tat, I am told. You are described as a freelance writer. But whether your lance is free or fixed it must be sharp. And on target. But right in the lead of your story you say (with no show of affection) that Collins ‘‘styles We Make | It Easy? ATHENA CAPILANO MALL _ 988-2295 ‘XMAS SALE. | YOPlus 7Computers Inc. JOQPlus — # Computers Inc. H 1083 Marine Drive couver 7 Sun, you say, because i its new editor was too respectable for me. I did not leave the Sun for that reason at all. As far as I know, the editors all loved ric. 'I left because the new pudlister was too respec- table for me. By which I meant, in my happy way, that he was inclin- ed to be ‘‘safe.”’ ‘He had just arrived from the Globe and Mail, you see, and as | stated on my way out, ‘‘The Globe and Mail is written by civil servants for civil servants.’ I said it cheerfully, too, for in spite of -the tales told about us cur- mudgeons we do like a laugh. You are one with the great Harry Rankin, Woods, in sug- gesting that the price I have had to pay for my brashness is writing for the North Shore News. AIRPORT PARKING Doug Collins ® get this straight ® Let me tell you that writing for this newspaper has been a lot of fun. It may not be the New York Times but the mail comes in from all over. Even from Australia. So 4 there. Also, it is better to write for a small newspaper that allows one to roam one’s beat than to write for a big one and suffocate from sheer frustration. Ask around. It seems not to have occurred to you that there may be something good about seeking a perch where one is free to squawk. Consider the poor devils on national TV who never have a damned thing to say. Your piece was so full of holes that I’m beginning to feel sorry for you. (Curmudgeons have hearts too, you know!) You state, for instance, that ‘‘We are treated in this book to countless examples of how the Botha government in South Africa is unfairly characterized in the western media.”’ Never use adjectives carelessly, Woods. ‘‘Countless’? means ‘‘in- numerable”’? and there are only nine columns on South Africa in the bock. Out of 108. All worth reading, too, and you could have counted that number on your fingers. _ It grieves me that you could see no humor in The Best And Worst. My neighbor's sad-looking bassett hound read it and had to be rush- ed to the vet for treatmenc, he laughed so much. Then a lady wrote to say she had taken the book to bed with her every night for two weeks ‘‘and every woman should have this opportunity.’’ Drop around sometime, | Woods, and I will give you a free copy for Harry Rankin. Mean- while, thanks for getting my name right. PARK & FLY 8311 Sea Island Way, Richmond BC. : “ (next to Segal Furniture) ~ Express: Shuttle — 24 hrs., 7 days 500 CAI Bonus Points: for 3 days parking | _278-8311 THE WESTOVER Community School Parents Council is lobbying against North Vancouver District proposals for a leisure pool under consideration for construction at the Karen Magnussen Arena. 9 - Sunday, December 20, 1987 - North Shore News Parents oppose leisure pool The Lynn Valley group wants full-size pool facilities to accom- modate older. children in the neighborhood. For more informa- tion contact the group at 984-0345, FINANCIAL PROBLEMS??? Acquaint yourself with all the alternatives, in confidence. Call for our free information booklet today ‘Follow-up interview without obligation” EVANCIC PERRAULT ROBERTSON LTD. TRUSTEE IN BANKRUPTCY (6 04) 291-9151 Gust across the 2nd‘Narro’ ridge across trom Brentwood Mall at Willingdon Ave. & Lougheed Hwy) &37/ OVERNIGHT PACKAGE $240 per courte Includes: Accomodation {with tax} Decorating party - 3-5 p.m. wilh hot hors d'oeuvres & punch Dinner & Dance - Includes: 3 course meal, entertainment, party lavours champagne toast al midnight (% boltle), midnight snack New Year's Day - Champagne brunch Lord Si’s Resort NEW YEAR’ | I _ EVE MADNESS LD Se ‘yeexemo: GETAWAY PACKAGE $220 per couple Includes: 2 nights accomodation (with tax} 2 breakfasts 2 dinners Package available until March 15/88 FOR RESERVATIONS CALL (604) 885-7038 or TOLL FREE 689-5441 RR #1 Halfmoon Bay, 3.C. VON 1Y0 anu Tt at 70th 261 -301 2) CANADA’S LEADING BRASS MERCHANTS WE'VE SHOPPED. THE WORLD FOR CHRISTMAS SPECIALS - STOREFOR - EVERYONE ON YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST — LET US HELP YOU — CANDLESTICKS, TABLE LAMPS, DESK ACCESSORIES, WINE RACKS, GOLD PLATE '& CRYSTAL NAPKIN RINGS, BUTANE FIRELIGHTER, ~ SERVICE PLATES AND. . MUCH MORE . OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK “8569 Granville 1222 Marine Dr. at Pemberton, N. Van. COASTERS, BRASS BEDS; 986-5566 Se ig cca oe % al 7 i NS TATE?