Gurus don't know

SO Rajneeshism is
dead, is it?

Ah well, another system
of delusions down the tubes.
I have to confess I knew a
guy — at least | used to
know a guy — who actually
went to Oregon and lived on
the commune of Bhagwan
Shree Rajneesh, the chap
who had all the problems
with his followers trying to
poison each other and failing
to get his latest Rolls Royce
to him on time.

This guy I knew was a bit |

of a space cadet, to be sure.
But sincere, loving, full of
radiance, definitely one of
the righteous upon whom it
is said the Light shineth. He
wouldn’t hurt a flea even if
it was laying eggs in his
beard.

It is perfectly likely that
this guy was a saint or at
least one of the meek who is
positioned to inherit the
earth. That’s why I hope he
didn’t get burned too badly
— or poisoned or run over
by one of Mr. Rajneesh’s
Rolls Royces — when Ra-
jneeshim went belly-up a few
weeks ago. .

In case you missed the
story, this particular Indian
_guru, Mr. Rajneesh, got fol-

lowers, several thousand of
them, mostly young
Americans, to buy up a town
in Oregon and take it over,
whereupon all sorts of
weirdness came down. As in
all sects — Christianity,
Judaism and Buddhism in-
cluded — bizarre power trips
occured. The flunkies fought
among theniselves for. favor
and the head honcho began
to believe:his own ravings.
Thus was born Rajneeshism.

SPOTTED FRIEND

I’m absolutely sure I spot-
ted my old friend, the disci-
ple, in one of the pictures
published when the guru
decided to purge his palace
guard, who had absconded
with the funds. Not that my
friend would have ripped
anything off in a million
years. It was just that in-
stead of immolating himself,

Litesti tes focussed on

as he properly should have
done, guru Rajneesh ordered
5,000 copies of his book —
called, are you ready, the
Book of Rajneeshism —
burned on a pyre instead.

strictly
personal

by
Bob Hunter
Pen re |

And there was my friend,
helping to light the fire.
Good old space cadet! Still
trippin’! ! hope his tender
little psyche didn’t get bruis-
ed too much or his frontal
lobes twisted entirely out of
gear. But then maybe they
were to begin with. But he
did pick a tough line of
work.

Being a saint isn’t easy, as
I’m -sure you know.
Especially being a humble
saint, like the porter in
Herman Hesse’s cautionary
tale, Journey to The East.
This is, of course, the ideal
saint, an invisible toiler who
turns out to infinitely wiser
than all the self-infatuated
seekers after truth stumbling
eastward in their spiritually
ungainly fashion.

He who speaks does not
know, and all that stuff.

TRADITION

There is quite a tradition
among us truth-seeking
hoardes that if you ever ac-
tually met a guru, he or she
— they are mostly ‘‘he’s,”’
men just seem to like this
kind of employment more —
would probably be some-
body wandering anonymous-
ly by on the street.

Of course, it is also possi-
ble that it takes a saint to
recognize another. I mean,
how would an ordinary mor-
tal be able to tell for sure? i
know I’ve never been able to
quite pin it down.

I’ve met a.huge pile of

gurus over the years. in fact,
I put in a bit of time on the
guru circuit myself. It was
quite an experience.

You see, | didn’t really
want to go the route of my
friend who took a journey to
the south to become a disci-
ple of Mr. Rajneesh. Bowing
and scraping are boring. I
had to do enough of that as
a kid, being a Catholic and
all. Better, if you’re going to
get involved in the religion
business at all, to hang out
your own shingle.

TAX SHELTER

Besides, once you're
established as a church, you
automatically become a tax
shelter. It takes five years by
the way. First you register
the name of your church
under the B.C. Societies Act,
then turn in annual reports
until the time is up, and,
voila, you're a church!

I did it out of an old
anarchist streak, pure public
mischief. It was fun. Invent
some gobblegook, wave your
hands in the air, tap people
on the head, and chant
something. Zap! Hand them
their Doctor of Divinity
degrees, and off everyone
goes to ordain the masses.

By the way, I still believe
that's the best way to spread
the Word. What Word? Oh,
heck, whatever Word you
want. Bob Dylan had _ it
right, you know, when he
said: ‘Don’t follow leaders
and watch the parking
meters.”’

Especially when it comes
to gurus.

Anyway, I was in there
before Mr. Rajneesh, declar-
ing the end of.my church. It
was getting awfully close to
the point where it could be
legally incorporated as an
official system of delusions.
Also, there was even a
miniscule risk of acquiring a
few believers. Time to bug
out, | thought. And that’s
the hard part of being a guru
— knowing when to quit.
Most of them never learn.

Believe me. No, no, on
second thought, don't!

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