Sunday, March 17, 1991 - North Shore News - 35

Fiance back with his ex

DEAR MISS Manners — I was dumped by my fiance of
two weeks. We had dated for four months, only for him to
come to the conclusion that he still had feelings for his
previous fiancee, whom he had dated fos four years. Their
engagement was broken by her, six months before ours.

Was I foolish to think that a
man who monopolized ail of my
time could have loved me? Or was
he ‘ooking for something to do
until she came back? He had
completely convinced me that he
loved me and that he had got over
her. But the last fight we had
brought it all out.

Two days after that fight he
told me he didn't want a marriage
he wasn’t sure about. He asked
me to cancel all wedding plans. I
asked him if he was going back to
her, and he said he would never
go back to anyone who left him.

And guess what? They’re back
together.

What do I do? How ito I han-

die this? And will he evc: iry to
come back?
GENTLE READER — Al-

though Miss Manners must gently
remind you that she deals with
etiquette problems rather than
lovelorn problems as such, she
acknowledges that these are often
closely related. The etiquette
problem you have now is how to
behave well while suffering, and
the one you anticipate is how to
react if partial relief is offered by
another reversal in the situation.

Undoubtedly everyone else in
whom you have confided has
pointed out how lucky you are to
have discovered the deception —
and it was a deception, even if
your fiance was himself deceived
about his true feelings — before
marriage. Miss Manners begs you
to keep this wisdom in mind, even
though it seems of little comfort
now.

Church holds

WORLD MISSIONS Week is an
annual event that happens each
year at the North Shore Alliance
Church at 23rd St. and St.
Georges Ave. This year, the week
runs from Sunday morning,
March 17 through Sunday, March
24 and begins with a Parade of
Flags in the Sunday morning ser-
vice on the 17.

Among a number of mis-
sionaries taking part in this Mis-
sions Celebration will be the Rev.
Len Warden family and Rev. and
Mrs. Ralph Shareski.

Rev. Warden is the eldest of
seven children of a Canadian mis-
sionary couple who served Spanish
speaking people in Cuba and
Florida. Three other family
members are missionaries with the
Christian and Missionary Alliance.

Warden, his wife Donna, and
three children, arrived in Sao
Paulo, Brazil in August, 1986 for
language study. After one year of
studying Portuguese, the Wardens
started working al Igreja Alianca
do Brooklin — an Alliance church
in Sao Paulo. Warden was in

Judith
Martin

MISS MANNERS

The one thing you may depend
on as true is his statement that
one should never enter a marriage
with emotional uncertainty. That
is why it is said that engagements
are made to be broken. And how-
ever severely he injured you emo-
tionally, whether because he was
toying with your feelings while
concealing his or because he was
genuinely confused, uncertainty is
considered a legitimate reason for
breaking an engagement.

The behavior that will most
help you now is generous dignity.
Never mind that you are agonizing
about what led to such a disaster.
You must accept the break
without treating it as a crime.

It is possible that such a de-
meanor will again attract your
former fiance — a display of

Missions week

charge of the administration of
the church, discipling new
believers, personal evangelism,
preaching, leading Bible studies
and establishing the first youth
group in the church.

Warden has been an evangelist
for two youth camps and an
evangelistic campaign in Porto
Alegre. He has been a valued
member of the church planting
team.

Rev. & Mrs. Ralph Shareski are
Christian and Missionary Alliance
career missionaries to Germany.

The Shareskis have just com-
pleted their first term of service in
Germany. Their first task when
they arrived in Germany in July
of 1987 was to learn the German
language. As their language skills
grew they were able to become in-
volved in a local Alliance Church,
Viernheim Alliance, just on the
outskirts of Mannheim.

A brochure listing all of the
events of the week may be obtain-
ed at the church. For further in-
formation call the church at 984-
6422.

Local actor back with series

NORTH VANCOUVER actor
Laura Bruneau and the CBC TY
series Material World are back.
but with a new look.

The show, which first aired last
year, moved into its second season
last Monday at 9 p.m. CBC pro-
ducers have transformed the for-
mat from @ situation comedy into
a series that ‘‘really gets ingide the
head of the main character’ —
fashion designer Kitty Reeves,
played by Bruneau.

‘*This year we decided we only
wanted to write about things we
truly cared about,’’ explained
producer Paul Pogue.

The show includes flashbacks to
Reeves’ childhood. In the last
episode, she came face-to-face
with the institution of marriage.
Tomorrow's show focusses on
AIDS. Reeves discovers first hand
the fears and prejudice AIDS suf-
ferers endure.

vengefulness will certainly not —
if he again breaks his present ar-
rangement. Then it will serve to
make it convincing when you rep-
ly to any renewed suit by telling
him gently that you considered the
rupture to be fortunate for your
happiness.

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
My fiance, who is very aware of
proper table manners, has a fami-
ly that could not possibly have
raised him. His parents and other
relatives all have the rather
distuebing habit of passing food
to one another with their hands.

Not only does it bother me to
have them handle my food, but
they expect me to handle theirs
also,

I am not only speaking of
breads and fruits, but pieces of
fish and meat.

This thoroughly disgusts me and
succeeds in destroying my ap-
petite, While I appreciate the diet
aid, I object to their laughter
when I refuse to serve them their
food with my hands. Mind you, I
never say, ‘‘Ugh, please do not
touch my food.”’ I simply do not
eat what they pass with their
hands, and when they request
something from a plate in my
vicinity, I pass the entire plate. Of
course they noticed this eventual-
ly.

How might I stop these people
from handling their food this
way? They just laugh at my ‘‘fas-
tidious’’ nature and think me a
snob and 2 prude. They explain
thet they became this way by
growing up in a large family.

Miss ;danners, my mother grew
up in a family of 12, and she
would be shocked by this
behavior. Why, the other day, a
soon-to-be uncle took food right
off my plate to feed to a dog. !
love dogs and have two of my

Anew
spirit of
giving

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ONLY 14

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Moreh 31st Se

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FOR MORE INFORMATION AND
DEALER NEAREST YOU CALL:

own, but they never eat at my
table and certainly never from a
guest's plate.

{1 am about to get up on my
soapbox, so I had better stop be-
fore I get completely incensed.
Please help: I am desperate.

GENTLE READER — Is this a
test? Miss Manners is hoping
against hope that these people
have constructed an elaborate
family joke in order to initiate
you into the family.

But probably not. The idea of
completely discarding the basic
etiquette and sanitary measures of
the society is so revolting to civi-
lized people that it is hard to

imagine anyone’s having the
stomach to do it as a joke.

You have two questions here: 1.
Do you have to abandon your
manners to meet the family’s
standard, or rather lack of it? 2.
Can you raise their standards?

The answer to both is no. Miss
Manners advises you simply to
continue your present tactic of
neither joining nor condemning
their bizarre behavior until they
get tired of teasing you about it.

Two things should come of this:
1. You will, as you point out, lose
weight. 2. You should earn your
future husband’s undying grati-
tude.

Interested in a
Career in Caring?

¢ If you are a caring person looking for a fulfilling
career in the health field...

© If you would like to assist disabled people of all
ages to live independently in the community ...

Consider training for a career as a

Personal Care Attendant
for People with Disabilities

This is a 30-week Certificate program starting
September 1991. Students spend 15 weeks in
class and 15 weeks gaining practical experience

in the field.

Job prospects are excellent in:

© Group Homes

© Health Care Agencies
© Private Homes
© Recreation Centres and more

Come to the information meeting on
Wednesday, March 20 at 7 p.m. in room H204
or call Health Programs at 984-4947 to find out

more,

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