page 4 -February 25, 1976 - North Shore News: ee: “On page'c ‘one e of the Feb. 183 issue of the North Shore News, we erroneously reported that West. Vancouver’ Municipal -|Councii had voted to purchase a waterfront lot for $130,000. Although council voted four to three in favor of the’ purchase, will probably be getting a a QUESTICN: 1 just can’t ‘some sort of help already. Then my oldest girl told believe what is happening in me that the daughter who our family. Since my divorce four years ago, I bad been. thinking that everything has really gone along pretty well. My four daughters [11 to 16] have been normally happy and extroverted girls who . have willingly heiped cut in making things as good as possible around the house. We've had no _ troubles. beyond the usual bit of bickering. Then the axe fell! Our second daughter got picked © up for shop-lifting a couple of - weeks ago, but that’s not all. I was greatly disappointed, of course, but I didn’t panic because nothing kad ever gone wrong before and I know that lots of kids seem to iake a fling at that sort of thing without it turning into a tragedy. QUESTION: has been having some troubles lately and when I was in to the doctor for my_ own check-up, I described some of my _ husband’s symptoms to the doctor and asked him what he thought might be the trouble. He explained he couldn’t. hazard a serious opinion’ without an examination, but My husband . had been picked up has been doing a lot of stealing for over a year. It turns out she . been shop- has not only lifting, but she and a couple of other girls, including our 13-year-old have even broken into some houses and stores and stolen money and cigarettes and liquor! Number one daughter says that number two smokes and. drinks and uses pot and is - leading number three into the same things. - By the time you get this . letter my daughter will have her family court hearing behind her. I hate to think of | her having some sort of. record against her. What in the world can I do? _ STEWART: If the hearing is: through family court, you that his edu ucated guess. was that my husband was going through menopause! + Was he having a bit of fun _at my expense, or have you: ever heard of a man going through menopause? If the, ‘doctor was just putting me on I think it was a pretty cruel kind of Joke, I was 5 speech- less. The matter of a record for a \girl the age of your daughter will probably not come up, or will be handled with, discre- tion,- and: help will be forthcoming. If you are not satisfied with the arrangements, talk with your minister or your doctor - your. next steps. I would be _happy to assist if you feel you “are at a dead end in getting the assistance you need through the court or the probationary plan in the form of family counselling or at “least expert counselling for your daughter. _ A She has very little need right now for lectures and criticism from you. Back her. . - up to the hilt! | STEWART: I hardly think the doctor was putting you on. In recent years, .some - doctors have been. proceed- ing in their’ treatments on the assumption’ that men go through a time in their lives that is very ‘roughly. compar- ; able to menopause. Other doctors think it is so- much twaddle. To help. you ~ think. through. the’ subject, perhaps” you. or your, hus- Forgiving is isn’ 't thet. easy QUESTION: The people at'a- new church I’m going to told .. : me that I should forgive: my: : father for a whole bunch of dirt I don’t need to go into here. They also said that if I- “peace and tranquility’. . ~ Well, I did it. But instead : of peace and tranquility; P’ve°- got guilty feelings and a dark” being, Gail. the, while ‘watch: blue depression. Do - ‘you | feel “Forgiving: | (honest™ now) or do you just. agree with some new friends who ‘have. told you ° Should forgive? forgave him I would feel al : great release and an. inner - little Mount: ‘Olympus‘“like a self-righteous . god and pro- Climbing~ “up ‘your own nouncing - ‘forgiveness from . the’ heights: of your superior- ity on a:much lesser human “ing eagerly’ for your reward ’ How come I feel so rotten about doing the right thing? STEWART: You're into something here that is too _ complex. for this short column. But I'll drop a couple of things on you for you to think about. Perhaps you feel depressed because you have just sald you have forgiven your father when what you really did was reach out to grab a ‘little peace and tranquility for yourself, ‘Personable’ habit a problem |, QUESTION: I am tertlbly: worrled about a personable habit I have that I Just can’t control at all, It’s the sort of thing you don’t talk about In the paper, but who do you talk to about it? I'm 15 and seared I’m‘ doing myself some harm. Is there some way you can help me? ~ STEWART: If it is mastur- bation you are talking about (or even if it fs some other ‘personable habit'') I can of peace and tranquility) i is a country, mile from forgiving. - Do. you, ‘agree? lf you do, you will see easily why you’ feel guilty and depressed. I hope you start again on the forgiveness thing because you ‘re on to important. But don’t do it because you ‘‘ought”’ to, or! because somcone told you it’s time, or to get some sort of payoff. Do it if and when you find enough love i in your help you like this: First of all, understand that your biggest worry is because of your lack of understanding, not _be- cause of the habit itself. Secondly, speak out as. : , openly ag you-can with your doctor, or your father (1 am hoping you.ean talk with him) or perhaps your minister. If these suggestions do not appeal to you, give me a call and | will help’ you find someone to talk to, or you and I can talk it out. real - , : _ QUESTION: something \. " appointmonts.” oe ‘heart to crowd out .your bitterness for your father. Then you won’t need to forgive him because you'll | have nothing to forgive. : > Habitat QUESTION: Are you worried about .- the dangers that _ Habitat is supposed to bring © with it to Vancouver? STEWART: No. Wordy? Can’t you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’? "STEWART: Yes. (See above): ICBC QUESTION: ‘insurance rates? STEWART: I'm = of minds. I don’t know whether to pay up or use the money: f for a world cruise. . am I think Your biggest. worry. is simply because you, are in - the dark. It will be a big relicf’ | for you to come to the end of. your worries. Don't put it off.’ You'll, live! Freolance Counsellor work, Ho can be contacted at 261-6242 for information and | Lotters aro, always .woléome. ‘Mall them to: ‘HAYDEN STEWART, c/o the North. Shore Nows, W202-1950 Lonsdalo, North Van, Ne + You're wordy! | What do you . think about the new car . two Haydon ” Stowart doos private counsolling ” as woll as a great deal of-group Tm a band,.or both of you, might read a recently published book for two Vancouver men, entitled, ‘‘The Male Climac- teric’’. Raymond Hull, a thoughtful and able writer has co-authored the book along with Doctor Helmut J. Ruebsaat. The book ($8.95 from Prentice-Hall) is now avail- able ‘‘at good bookstores ~ was defeated. such a move requires a two-thirds: majority, and the motion and accept help in taking a Coverings You’ll be excited by the fabulous collection of wall coverings at Ashley House! Browse in the comfortable, relaxed. atmosphere, where . exciting vignettes show imaginative uses of the most sophisticated and adventurous help, but I believe you’ll get - _ design There are over 200 books available from which to choose hand ‘prints, vinyls, mylar, . flocks, scuiptures, murals, foils, grass cloth and corks, some with companion fabrics. Whether traditional or contemporary, you’! | find the right accent for any room at Ashley House Wallcoverings. Ashley douse walleovevin : 2131 Burrard, at 5th Avenue Vancouver ’ 731-7411 Mon.' By appointment 926-1713 If no answer call 985-8634