SPAM. A name to make
gourmets gag and connois-
seurs cringe.

By John Moore
Contributing Writer

Ridiculed by everyone from
the Monty Python troupe, (who
sang in mindless chorus, “Spam!
Spam! Spam! Spam!”) to the
Muppets, who were dragged into
court last September by Hormel
Foods Corp. (proud “makers of
Spam since 1937), because a
character in the new Muppet
Treasure island movie is called

| SPA’AM.

_ According to Hormel’s legal
squeakers, _ is
grotesque and noxious appear-

ing wild boar” which personi-.
fies “evil. in porcine form.” -

SPA‘AM, the corporate suits
_ contend, will alienate a new
generation of Spam-eating chil-

ren and Spam-buying parents
by: his “unhygenic and  fear-

SPA‘AM is “a™

some” appearance.
Are we to believe that at

power lunches these Armani-

suited Harvard Law grads order
up “The spinach, chevre and

Spam salad with a raspberry”

vinaigrette”? Do corporate
lawyers shoot their faces fuil of
Novocaine to keep them straight
before court appearances in nui
sance cases like this?

As for alienating children, the
last time | took my nephews out
to buy penny candy they bulked
up on “gummy worms” that
would give Edgar Allan Poe pink
fits and bubble gum that came in

‘its own plastic garbage can.

Given the. chance, SPA’AM
could start'a-trend. and: become
the Diggest marketing boost’ in
Horme'

slack for law, however, especial-
ly on the electronic frontier of
the Internet, where “spamming”
is. Net-speak for choking the
global. ‘bulletin boards . with
unwanted ‘junk e-mail. When
this occurs, ‘as .in the October

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s history. Slang cuts no,

IN A world of: gourmets
and connoisseurs there is
nothing like Spam to’
bring cut the gags and
_cringes, but. John Moore

| has discovered a’ more
tender side ta the age-old
staple. |

NEWS photo Mike Wakefield

case of Austin Sastable, (an. MS

“sufferer seeking relaxation of the

laws © governing © assisted exit

from. this vale of ‘tears,).a. com--.
‘puter security consultant, a-

“despammer,” like - Ottawa’s
Chris Lewis is called in to writea
“spam-cancelling” program

blocking the. repeated’ message.’
tacking a. mandate to directly
a

assist Bastable’s ‘quest for: per.

‘sonal deletion, Lewis sympa-

thizes, but implacably insists,

“soam’is spam,” and erases his”

cyber-ego. -) 1; oa
But what realiy is Spam any-
way? bet-you think it's made

from parts of the. pig. no one:

wants’'to..talk about; parts that
can‘it-.be decently. “labelled

~ chops, back ribs, holiday hams,
‘por
roasts, breakfast «;sausages «or:
even pickled trotters... You. sus- -

loins, _ shoulder. or’-butt

prepared the European way

e

so that it is less greasy, move fish than batter

926-8664
Village Square

et)

sy ter Luar ATA CAM

7) af

nk: Spa

. bacon costs: about:

_ The ‘disparaging ‘of-Sp

Paves j ey
comparatively. recent. py a

‘slices of buttered

Serving on:

ours.” Cubed,” with
onions, peppers’ an

of
Pp

“ sures, but:

humper ‘sticker that ‘paraphrases;
Descartes immortal-.seif-defint
tion: “I'm pink, “therefore: 1
Spam.”

rep

o

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