my porns 42 - Wednesday, March €6, 198% - North Shore News WHY DOES SHE ACT LIKE THAT? Q. | LOVE her and she loves me bul for some reason she doesn't want to make love as much as Ido. When I get sexy she backs away. She doesn't say she wants me to stop loving her or that she isn't go- ing to see me any more — she just doesn’t want to have sex. We have been going together cight months. This is getting me down. i am in chronic genital pain from frustra- tion, but my pleadings go right hy her. I don't feel even the least bit like leaving her, but how can I make her understand? And why does she act like that? A. She very probably has a not- so-rare condition called ‘twanting to be married first."’ ] run into ita lot in my work. Jt is not out of the late Middle Ages or the reign of Queen Victoria, believe me. If that is it, that is her decision, and she should not go against it because you have a pain down there, which will go away and not hurt your health, psychological condition or future sexual performance. ‘Males do get a discomfort in their testicles from repeated sexual arousal without orgasm, but its long-term effects have been wildly exaggerated. Very often men have told women that if this condition is not relieved by immediate inter- course, then the refusing woman will be responsible for irreparably damaged male sexual machinery, madness and, ultimately, death, fn response to this, the woman is supposed to yield berself out of a feeling of guilt, because she has supposedly brought this terrible condition on. The only good reason for a woman to have sex is because she wants to and feels right about it. Since you love her so much, you have to respect her decision not to have sex. I don't feel guilty telling you this because you are going to get over that ache. Neither you nor she have to have sex just because you are aroused sexually. We all have the right to use our brains about having sex, and not to be tyrannized by our genitals into do- ing things we don’t want to do. With any Shiseido purchase of $15.00 or more you will receive ‘Beautiful Beginnings’ containing: Facial Softening Lotion Lip Nourishing Treatment Essential Energy Hand Nourishing Cream Zen Body Lotion 30mL 30 mL 30 mL Offer in affect March 14-26, 1988, whtis quantities lest. SEARS Q. Can masturbation be harmful to a) person's performance — in heterosexual intercourse? A. No, For a great many people intercourse offers more difficulties than masturbation, Masturbation is under each person's control — you don't have to consider the other person's needs or desires, ask Dr. Ruth Ruth Westheimer and the more intense friction br- ings sexual gratification more cer- tainly than intercourse does. Inter- course is a duct and requires skill and mutual cooperation, It is also almost universally desired. Wan- ting to be sexually close to a per- son of the opposite sex is not going to go out of style for a long time. Masturbation is not harmful to your future sexual performance. Many people who~have good shared sex lives also feel impelled to masturbate sometimes — I will not say how often, because that is your money's worth...and more Prices In effect tt Saturday, Glsrch 26, while quantities lest. an individual matter. People who have no sex partners used mastur- bation as a form of sexual release that is entirely without danger. Some people do not masturbate. This as not harmful, cither, and it docsa’t: mean that thase people lack sexuality. Sometimes married people, or partners in long-term relationships, begin avoiding sex with cach other and retreat to masturbation in- stead. But this does not mean they have been drawn from shared sex by the destructive lure of self- stimulation. It means that some- thing about shared sex in that rela- tionship has become difficult or troubling. People get mad at each other and withhold sexual sharing. Or the sexual activity with the partner becomes daunting or burdensome or troubled for some other reason. The cure for this is some im- provement of understanding be- tween the partners. A sex therapist can often help with the improve- ment. The man may lose con- fidence in his ability to perform because of a pattern of climaxing too soon for a satisfying mutual experience, or in his ability to keep an erection. He many become discouraged because his female partner is preorgasmic, has not learned how to have orgasms. Either partner may be put off sharing sex by complicated emo- North Vancouver, Capilano Mall, open daily 9:30 to 5:30. Thursday and Friday till 9, Sunday noon to 5 p.m. Phone 985-7722 fra hat should he do when she says ‘no’? tions following: the birth of a child. In cases dike that, a sex therapist can offer the best help now avattable for sexual difficulties. Zut sametimes the improvement in shared sex comes from some out- side event. Sometimes it is a change in the weather, in business, getting away on a terrific vacation, or some such good fortune, that does the trick. Q. You sre a sexpert and you travel all over Jecturing and acting in movies and going on safaris and so on. So, my roommate and I want to know, where do you find the sexiest men and best mate lovess? A. | don’t find them — I train them. But not for me — for themselves and for a host of lucky women. 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