Wednesday, September 17, 1997 — North Shore News ~ 3 Doug, thanks for the memories Timothy Renshaw Managing Editor trenshaw@direct.ca fond farewell to Doug Collins — take two. The first was in 1989. It began something ike this: “Doug Collins will lob his last Get This Straight grenade today. “After five years of scattering journalistic shrapnel into his ’ chosen political windbags and bloated social sacred cows, the 68-year-old North Shore News columnist has decided to officially retire his controversial thrice-weekly column.” Well, that retirement didn’t fast too long. There was, as it turned out, too much good piss and vine- gar left in the old boy; a full arsenal of grenades yet unlobbed. Eight years and more than 700 columns later shrapnel from those grenades is embedded inches deep in the ample soft tissue of a lot of complacent hindquarters — political and other. . The stuff is hard to extract, believe me. There are no innocent bystanders. Painful, yes, but worth every minute. Nothing like a few press council hearings, a human rights star chamber and an endless stream of invective from mem- bers of the public to stir the journalistic blood. Also sharpens the senses and opens the eyes to the real ” world of no-holds-barred debate. “Tt’s free speech straight up. Not the new free speech as oused by the new media. You know, the kind that restricts at you can say and how you can say it because it might offend someone's sensibilities and counter their views of the world. TE write this second goodbye with mixed emotions. On the one hand it would be hard to deny that the absence of Doug Collins in the North Shore News would make for quieter days at the office. On the other hand the simple joy of watching those Collins grenades being lobbed with such skill into the selff- righteous strongholds of hypocritical liberalism and other fra- ternities of phony do-goodism will be gone. Entertaining, courageous, uncompromising assaults fired off with the same bulldog spirit that sprang Mr. Collins from 10 prisons during the Second World War —- tough stuff to ignore. Tougher still to replace. The world according to Collins was peopled with pokenoses, pimpleheads, lickspittles. quivering jellyfish, wimps, mugwumps, and humbugs. Outrageous, offensive, over the tup, bare-knuckled, anti- social and annoying. You bet. But also entertaining and eminently readable. Enough to make you want to throw your News at the cat in disgust. Enough to make you want to sit down and write an out- raged letter to that pin-headed editor. But also cnough, at times, to make you burst out laughing and mutter, “Right on Doug.” _ And enough to make you think about another point of view. Test your own prejudices. Doug’s was never a view interested in being fashionable, politically acceptable, sensitive or New Age. It was usuaily a brazen shot in the intellectual guts. Sometimes night on; sometimes way off base. But who cares? He annoyed, outraged, upser and entertained just about everyone who read him. And read him they did. At last count close to 75% of News readers surveyed read Collins, whether they professed to love or hate him. After digesting Collins close-up for ti:¢ past seven years, it makes it hard to get much excited about other columnists of the day. With a precious few exceptions, they are playing to the crowd. They aspire to sensitiviry and sensibility. But they are merely tin-horn prophets and preachers with one cye in the mirror and both hands on the pulse of public opinion. Theirs is sleep-inducing stop. Those who oppose Doug and al! he stands for are all for pleasantness and harmony. But that is not what free speech and debate is all about. Never has been; never will be. Thank your fucky stars that they are not yet in control of this newspaper or fully in control of other media. Because when they are the value of real free speech will be fully appreciated — roo late, but appreciated nonetheless. Redneck right-winger, grenade lobber with a bad attitude and a skewed aim with a fixation on a gradually diminishing ficid of issues. . A writer with the brass to be disliked and the good sense never to advocate the silencing of other views. Adieu again, Doug. : Thanks for the memories. THE WORLD ACCORDING 16 DOUG | “Free speech has always had a bad name.” Doug's response to David Mitchell, who said Doug Collins gave free speech a bad name. name.) (From the June 11, 1997, column Free speech bas always had bad NEWS photo Terry Paters is veteran columnist and free speech fighter Doug Collins hangs up his News pen. i ite Judge Les Bewley, from his foreword to Doug Co! The Best and Worst of Dong Collins bock. ; Pen . QGO0Q..- oe “Collitis adores that attention and he has the sur- ability. of a dock rat.”.: "== Vancouver Sun colum: ist: Denny Boyd, from a. May 1996 column. : -- Q0O0Q “The departure of the human stink-bomb will be ignificant ‘contribution to cleaning up the envi- ronment.” —- Columnist and then-Capilano College philosophy - and political science instructor Stan Persky, on the news :in 1989 that Doug Collins was sc? to retire. 000 “Mr. Collins is one of the few B.C. commentators - fearless enough to take on the bullies of political cor- a eter Raeside, writing in B.C. Report magazine. “ 000 : “I think Collins has gone too far this time. In . fact, think he’s been going too far for quite some - time.” ; — Then North Vancouver-Lonsdale MLA David Schreck, condemning 2 May 1992 Collins column in the B.C. legislature. 900 “Doug Collins is the toughest man I have ever met.” — Allan Fotheringham, writing in Maciean’s maga- zine. 000 “Yes, Collins caz be a hurtful writes; his pen is more than rapier. So what? “The Toronto Sun wouldn't choose to publish Collins, but the Sun editor would never argue that some other paper shouldn’t. Isn’t that what free choice is all about? . : “We may not like or agree with Collins, but he’s less threat to our freedoms cuted under, Leave him alone.” — Peter Worthington, writing in the July 1, 1997, ; awe Sun. Oo0 “He is a blustering oaf from British West Vancouver, that clitist enclave of inherited wealth, colonial sludge and ostrich mentality.” — News letter to the editor writer Alan Regan. o00 “Doug Collins is the journalist everyone loves to te.” — Author Norman Adams. 000 “There is only one Doug Collins. He is irreplace- able.” , — News publisher Peter Speck. the law he’s being prose- . “There couidn’t have been more excitement if the Loch Ness” Monster had been seen waddling down Granville Street.” On the media coverage of the discovery of a KKK Grand Dragon . . in the Lower Mainland. (From the Sept. 7, 1997, column Local media stalk rare Grand Dragon.) ogg : “If you choose to drink yourself to death or smoke yourself to death or for that matter jog yourself to death tha?’s your busi-. . ness.” ; ; ‘ (From the Aug. 3, 1997, column Health Nazis rale kingdom of absurd.) : 000 Q “SFU has long been a haven for the mad. Especially mad ~ women.” . (From the Juiy 27, 1997, column Doug’s sex war cure-all.) o0g0 “Are you and I the - only sane folk left? Consider the fact that a leather-clad lesbian is now B.C.’s chief : human rights com- . - missioner.” (From the April 9, 1997, column Rights and wrongs.) Q0Q° - § “In her (a Bowen” Island reader) view respecting diversity will me even more important than the - ecological crisis. Ske ma) right, but my - question eh will diver-' sity res us?” ; : (From the July 6, 1997, column Division ehrough diversity.) THE late Tory & ( 4 sented (left to right) Collins, News: pubdlisher Peter Speck’ and News columnist . Noel. Wright ©: with: Canada 125 medals in 1993." ; 000 ried “The MPs’ pension plan is as firm as the rock of Gibraltar. even though its tors would be in the clink if any private : * funded tactics.” fahiars company tried c . re : if yon the May 25, 1997, column Get MP hogs off Parliament: ; - go00 wot mo, “Would you shake hands with Liberal candidate. Warren -- Kinsella? Reformer Ted White woulsn’t and neither would I. would rather give a French kiss to the Phantom’‘of the Opera.” (From the May 7, 1997, column Denouncing Liberal dirt-digging. 000 - wt “Another drawback is that the NDP will probably. be in favor --. of cloning peopte like Glen Clark, which raises the possibility that-. there would be a Clark on every street corner. A sea of Clarks.” — (From the March 5, 1997, column Never alone with a clone, on the news that Dolly the sheep was a clone.) O00 “Ottawa plans to do away with mer and English s ers entirely unless they need someone to do some snow-clearing. (From the Jan. 25, 1997, column Let’s join the ladies.) ” 000Q ; “Hardly a day goes by but the press, radio and television don’t mention something about the six million. The figure is nonsense, See Barbs page 13