20 — Wednesday, April 21, 1999 - North Shore News

Mediation may

“JULIA and Justin
should stay with me!”
you cry. “I’m their
mother, and besides
how can you possibly
look after them? You
work all day!”

“But Justin is 10. He aceds
a dad who can play bascball
and soccer with him,” shouts
your husband.

You and your husband are
separating after 13 vears of
marriage. While you can sort
out the money issttes, you
can’t agree on who should get
custody of the two children.

This is a perfect case for
mediation. It’s essential that
yuu and your husband still
each consult your own lawyers
to advise you about your legal

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rights and ensure vour scpara
tion agreement is legally
sound, But a mediator could
help you come to an agree:
ment you both feel is fair.

The mediator’s cole is to
create a safe environment for
both partners to talk freely and
arrive at mutually acceptable

(SCOUNT SUPERSTORES

solutions “The mediator keeps
discussions cial and on track
and helps vou bramstorm to
find sohinons. However, medi
AUOM MPT martage coun

en, the aim is to
find concrete solutions to the
problems of hving apart
Which parent will remain in
the hame? Who'll pay the
bills? Where will the kids live?
Who'll take the children to
their soccer games?

Mediation usually takes
from four to eight sessions,
involving weekly meetings.
But it’s a flexible pracess, so
when and how often you mect
depends on your individual

Brooks Sequence

circumstances.

In the first meeting, vou
getachance to tind out more
about mediation. discover vour
mediator’s sive, and fear
what the ground rules are for
future micetings. Nest, vou
focus on detining clearly the
issues FOU Want fo salve
through mediation hetere
moving on to exploding some
solutions. Onee vouve
reached an agreement, vour
own lawyers review it betore
it’s signed.

There are many advantages
to mediating matrimonial dis-
putes. Mediation can save you
time and money. It’s quicker
and less expensive if you can

solve your problems together
rather than having to go to
court, Second, the agreement
vou reach is vour agreement,
Its nora decision forced on
vou by someone che. Because
you've worked together to
seme Lo vour own aerecment,
soure both nach more like
to be happy with it and te
honour it. Third, mediation
helps vou learn to find new
ways to talk with cach other
and tind solutions. “Phis can
help vou communicate with
your spouse, even atter the
divorce.

But mediation only works
if vou both want to try it It's
a voluntary process, and you

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CUT force your parmer fo go.
Abo, mediation isn’t the
answer if your spouse has
Qbused var or vou're atrand to
discuss vour aceds openly. And
it vour Kids have been abused,
the mediator would have to
report the child abuse.

Mediators may be lawyers,
pevchologists or social workers
fo tind a mediator, ask vour
lawyer for a referral

This column is wettren with
the assistance of the Nort
Vancouver law firm of Rawliff
> Company, Suite 300, 221
Veo Esplanade, 988-3201, The
column provides information
ouly and is uot to be relicd on
for legal advice.

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