THIS BEING the silly season, when politicians wax poittier
than ever and even normal people talk to their cabbages,
there is no point in doing a lot of heavy breathing over the
quiddities. Far better to contemplate croquet.

I have never played croquet. We
peasants never do. To us, the game
belongs to the ladies and gents of
the fate Victorian period. If 1
remember correctly, they knocked
a few balls around in The Impor-
tance Of Being Earnest. But cro-

either ball is driven out of bounds,
both balls remain where they lie
and the strike is entitled to take his
continuation stroke.”’

Good stuff, that, if only because
the person who wrote that rule
knows the difference between

R ule 38 fascinated me, too. ‘A
rover that runs a wicket in clearing its
deadness and in the same stroke hits a
ball upon which it was last dead
incurs no penalty, and unless either
ball is driven out of bounds, both
balls remain where they lie and the
strike is entitled to take his

continuation stroke.

quet is still big with some. So
much so that a chap in the famous
watering hole gave me an up-to-
date Rule Book and Glossary.

It contains stuff like Rule 34,
which reads: ‘‘A player who has
made all the wickets in the proper
sequence becomes a rover and is
considered alive on all balls.’’

And Rule 36: ‘After hitting at
least two balls, a rover ball may be
cleared of deadness by passing
through any wicket in any direc-
tion.”’

Rule 38 fascinated me, too. ‘‘A
rover that runs a wicket in clearing
its deadness and in the same stroke
hits a ball upon which it was last
dead incurs no penalty, and unless

Tribute paid
to South
African women

ON SUNDAY, Canadian women
pay tribute to the defiance of
South African women past and
present. Sponsored by the South
African Women’s Day Committee
of the Anti-Apartheid Network,
the celebration features a program
of cultural and educational activi-
ties and speeches.

It will be held at the YWCA, 580
Burrard St., from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m.

South African Women’s Day
traditionally honors the women
who marched on Pretoria in 1956
to protest the pass laws. Susan
Mnumzana, with the ANC delega-
tion at the United Nations, will
speak about the significance of
South African Women’s Day.

The tribute also recognizes his-
toric parallels between the march
on Pretoria and the 1979 march on
Ottawa by Native women from
Nova Scotia. Writer and Native
activist, Lee Maracle, will speak
about the Native women’s march.

The mayor of Vancouver will
officially declare Aug. 7 South
African Women’s Day in Van-
couver. Following a reading of the
proclamation by Libby Davies,
women will walk from City Hall to
the YWCA to symbolically observe
both marches.

293

“tie”? and ‘lay,’ which is a rare
thing these days. But, as I say, this
is a game for ladies and gentlemen,
not yobboes.

Rule 44 isn’t bad, cither. ‘*The
game is won by the side that
finishes the game with both balls
first...

As you might imagine, this
pastime has a noble history. An
early version was played in France
inthe 14th century, and croquet
arrived in England from Ireland in
1850. It is big in the U.S., and I
believe | have seen people in white
hats chasing rover balls in West
Van.

A booklet put out by the
Department of Justice must have
been written at the height of a silly
season. Its title is Guidelines
Respecting The Elimination Of
Sexist Language In Departmental
Communications, and is the baby
of two fems who should take up
croquet.

Ii too was presented to me in the
famous watering hole — by z
former federal civil servant who
was fleeing to Hong Kong. He had
been offered work by the Brits and
was seeking to retain his sanity.

The booklet is in French and
English, and must be equally daft
in both languages.

One chapter is headed Use Of
Male And Female Persons To II-
lustrate Points Or Provide Exam-
ples In Certain Contexts, and in
Rule F thereof we read: ‘Humor
based on sex-linked traits or char-
acteristics is to be climinated.”’

What is really meant, of course,
is that humor is to be eliminated.

And how do you like this one?

“The placement of women and
men should reinforce their equali-
ty. For example, women and men
should both be seated or standing;
if seated, bath should be at desks
or at a table.”’

It is wrong, of course, to use
terms like forefathers, man-made,
mankind, manpower, man in the
street and working man.

Lady-like is also a no-no. Justice
Department persons are supposed
to say ‘‘well-mannered.’’

I still prefer lady-like. If she’s a
lady, that is, and not like one of
those fem lawyers who appear in
courts these days looking navvy-
like, or like they’ve been dragged
through a bush.

Mother and child are out, too.
Dead. In their place, says this
booklet, are ‘‘parent and child.”’
So are wives. Anything but that.

The fems who wrote this stuff
should try chasing a few rover
balls. ©

Candidate for the
Nomination of the Liberal Party
Federal Riding Capilano-Howe Sound

Oiga Barrat, Ph.D.
Announces the opening of her office in
West Vancouver

1425 Marine Drive, Suite No. 340
Tel. 922-4061

Please come in to discuss the issues.

OLGA AVRAMOVIC
BARRAT, P.O

REGULARLY

9 - Friday, August 5, 1988 - North Shore News

is pleased to announce
“Gary the Butcher”
has returned!

Age at’
Gary will be pleased to greet his old

custorners and looks forward to meeting new
ones!

Watch for our in-store weekend specials on
our fresh meats and produce!

Queensbury Market
701 Queensbury Ave.

Papermaking

by hand.

A TWO-DAY WORKSHOP WITH
SHARYN YUEN — SEPT. 9-11

n this workshop a variety of methods of producing hand-

formed paper sheets will be taught, and you'll explore using

fibres as sculptured medium through traditional European

. papermaking and conternporary casting techniques. Stable
papers are produced from cotton/linen rags and linters.

nstruction includes coloring and painting with pulp laminating,
embedding, casting a paper bowl, low relief casting with a

vacuum table, making shaped papers and other experimental

. techniques. Studio work is supplemented by slide and video
presentations.

haryn Yuen has studied the art of papermaking in Quebec,

Banff, California, Belgium and Japan. Over the past ten years

her work has been extensively exhibited in the Northwest. She

- is well known as a teacher as well as an artist. Sharyn

is currently proprietress of Kakali Handmade Papers. She is also co-
owner of PaperYa on Granville Island.

lam Bay Farm is a 100-acre organic farm rich with crops,
meadows, forests and wildlife, a stocked trout pond and a half
mile of ocean shoreline set in a peaceful valley on Pender
Island. You will enjoy delicious meals cooked with produce
from our gardens, walks on the beach and through the woods, horses,
canoeing, hot tub and sauna. A 50% deposit is due two weeks before
workshop date. Please book early as space is limited.
Tuition, room and board: $190.

ther workshops scheduled for Clam Bay Farm this summer

Govindido - ‘Hands On’ Drum Workshop. July 15-17
Susan Hughes - The Garden Within. July 22-24
olander - Silk Dyeing with Natural Dyes. Aug. 5-7

. Robes Minden - Ways of Telling — A Storytelling Workshop Aug. 19-21

¢ Daphne Marlatt - Journal Writing for Women. Sept. 16-1

* Sandra Semchuck - Photographing Within Play. Sept. 30-Oct. 2

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CALL CORRINE DAVIS.

VON 2M0
(604) 629-6313

EXERCISE

For information
on how the
YMCAcan
improve your
litestyle call:
681-0221