- QUESTION: 1 Pm’ so ash-
- amed of the way our two sons
. are dressing. Both ‘of them

‘insist on wearing jeans that.
are. too. long and ‘too inded -
and .teo. frayed. Pve siways
. been meat about my dressing _
and my husband fs fastidious.
: about bis clothes and appenr-
_ ance. My kids shower almost .
_ every day - sometimes more"
. than: that -- they get them- ©
.-.:selvesas clean as. whistles |
~~ then’ ‘put on. ‘these . awfal
~ clothes that make thenz sok

‘like tramps. oe

Pm quite fussed about
; what our friends and weigh-
bours will think about these
two waifs. They'll think we

can’t afford to clothe ; them,

or. don’t « care about , them.

Pve explained it to the kids, -

but they just say, ‘‘That’s
their problem mom - why are

‘¥OU_so worked ‘up about.
what THEY. think??. I know
they’ve got a point, but it

deesm’t. make me feel any
better. Should I just let them

get away with it?
; STEWART Why not?

-‘That’s my serious answer.
Make a list of the reasons
why you should. not _ let

them get. away with “it?” and.

decide whether any of them

are really important reasons.

If you have énough impor-
tant reasons why they should.

LM

_ QUESTION: lam 32 3 years

of age and living with my

-\ widowed mother. My sistet,

_ ‘fwo' years younger than I, is

married and living in ‘South
'. Affeica. Mother keeps saying,
“You: are the only one I
- have”’,:-although she bas 2
‘sisters and a brother, ail

_.. living within 500 miles of her

QUESTION: Don’t y you think

. that some people are born to
sve and some poople are
born to be without love?

- STEWART: No I do nui think
that. I think we are all born to

love and that none of us is |

born to be without love.
Many people may pet taught,
directly or indirectly, t» feel
that. love is out of their reach,
but such teaching i is a fraud.

Which is harder for you -
to give love, or to receive it?
For a week or two, give

yourself to improving the one

you're already .good at,

THEN plunge in to ‘getting at.

- the other one. You may need
help in getting. started, but
keep in mind, deep down you
are a lover!

Exchanging

fers

roe

QUESTION: Is your proatost

fear, Miko mine, related. to
nuclear war? . at

STEWART: No. The deitist. . |

| heleving

_" she’s *
_ you’’, -
wake up?. You. are getting _
yourself into something that -

and. two of them real cloge to

her. After my father’s death I
was very restless, but then —
came to think that I had a.
. pretty good set-up living with |
; mother at low cost etc. oe

? was down-right overbearing. i?
“For example, 1 can'see now _
a that she spoiled two relation: .
: pratt i had ‘with girls by.
talking me into. -
a. her when she sald,

‘ She just isn’t good for you- .

advantage ' of

or “SWhy domt you

will be only trouble” ete.
1 was: awfally slow. at

seeing she was hanging on to .
me and running my life. But —
now I see it and want to do

something about it. How-
ever, how to do it. and what to
do have me bewildered. She

HAS heen very good to me

and has done her best. I
don’t want to hurt her. .How.
will I handle it?

jetting

QUESTION: 1 keep hear-
ing’ about your groups. and:

am interested, but how do ir

get in on them?"

print | at ‘the ‘top of the
column!. Have you missed
seeing it? For individual or
marriage. or family. counsel-

Metric

- QUESTION: Which is correct ©
~ KiLemotors or ‘KGLOM-
tors?

STEWART: 1 believe KIL

Did. you handle it in -a way
that” makes you feel YOUR

your kids a are © handling it?

- - (After a couple of years: of :
this “Sdeal’’ arrangement, .I-
my began to see that mother wag:
not. just. kind -to.. me. and.
_ protective ‘and helpful, but _ touch’ with her, but. that you
, ‘are on. your .own. . ‘Tf at: all

“not wear the j jeans - of their |

choice, then. talk it over with
them. © Note ‘that I said

IMPORTANT reasons! If you ©

don't have enough IMPOR-
TANT. REASONS for coming

down heavy on. them, then.
accept: the - situation and -

don’t ‘nag Pe. Somes or ¥ get

. sarcastic. 7

To. help you handle this :

tricky task, let me remind

you of how.much YOU) (back: .
in the 40’s) wanted to. wear

- something or other than. your
folks. thought was awful or

Tv own. CVF ALES O75

silly. How did. you handle it? :

way was superior to the way

_ STEWART: It. would ‘be .
harder for you if your. mother
were really ‘‘all alone’, but ~
she has her brother and
sisters. within reach. Tell .
-your mother you are aware of -
show’ she has protected® you.

‘and supported you and loved
you and that her special
‘concern for you has heiped
you become aware that. you

-must now take advantage of |
all she has.done for you and
put it to use in way that will
be rewarding to her as well

“as to you.

Let her know that you. are

oq now going to test your wings -
“and go:it:on your:own. Tell
- her that .you -will. keep, in.

‘possible, you" would be wise

--to:-move ‘away from this’
locality - altogether, .-

or at
least, (if you HAVE to. stay
here) move - several miles

. from her. a
- Shifting gears may have .
‘some attendant: . culties

for you, but. stick. ‘by your |
"guns and see it through. You |
will be doing yourself a reat

favour, but just as important- .

~ ly, you will be helpful to your’

mother too. By the way, do
NOT tell your mother you are
“‘thinking’’ of a change that

you would like to talk. over.
- with her. Work .out your |

plans, announce them to. §

them into action. -

in touch |

ling all you have to do is

*phone the number at the

head of this column for an 7
+. appointment, The'same goes .
= for. praup. participation, Just’

STEWART: Read the fine ~ “phone. and: talk. it. over.

There are openings once in a

while. It’s best to ‘phone in

the morning.

puzzle

.. ere

“your mother as kindly as
- possible and immediately put |

un
in
‘
!

‘ometers is correct, just as in 2.

CENTimeters, (rather than: Hi:
CenTIMetres) and. MIDLi-. fa
metres, (rather t than MALIN: :

tres). -

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