QUESTION: In: the past year I have made “huge progress in. changing my habits, — mostly. reprogramming my . self- image, In many. cases I have used auto suggestion thpes.. _T seem_to have: a mental ay. ie -of “my. oldest habits until is years ago I was an early - It doesn't: matter what time I go to bed; when the: saree goes off my sub-conscious makes me return to sleep. - Are you aware -of any hypnotic tapes. which “ad- dress this_problem?. Do: you have any. suggestions. which - might ‘be helpful? I awake easily. But I cat use four & ——-QUESTION: My sister is mad with-me, yet all I did was tell her the truth. She calls me a male chanvinist pig, and yet I think the fault is hers. She bought 2 swimsuit called “the diaper ‘look.” Ie is a narrow strip of material that only covers the centre of the body, leaving the hips and most of tke genital area bare. She wore it to a pool party and ap- parently got a lot of suiggers and some crode remarks Don’t wait for maturity QUESTION: I am a 20 year old man, at the present moment I am not dating a girl. I have a desire to go out with someone but people keep telling me that you have to be a together person, mature and responsible. I wouldn't say that ] ama totally together person, but I'm getting professional help and am involved im a behavioral devclopment program designed to change one’s behavior in certain aspects. | want a girlfriend but feel as If 1 should get my priorities in proper order. Continuing with therapy, as I am, for specific goals and accomplishing them, | will feel more confident about a relationship. 1 am making a real effort to get my Life tn order and I can see positive changes. Do you feel | am Marla Sta consultation. through. fford, qualified and istered electrotogist lerveites Galle for @ personal and private alarm clocks ‘and ‘stil go. back to bed and sleep. STEWART: Here's one suggestion, For. a month or two, spend a little. time and effort rearranging “your responsibilities so they: fit in to’your: being ‘a late sleeper. Where does it say you should~ arise at a certain time, “like everyone else?” You don’t like that idea? Well, short of that, I hardly know what to Suggest until you come to the point where you. WANT. to get up. I - assume you havea degree of ‘faith in those hypnotic tapes. Yet you do not-‘have a single one on. the “habit” of from some men present. She was upset and left. When she: complained to me about her treatment I asked her to model the suit. I could see why the men were smiggering. She may as well have arrived at the party nude. I told her that clothes comvey a message | about yourself and if she dressed Hike a whore she shouldn't be upset to be treated like one. Now she won't speak to me. . Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart ma y be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, famil Office in the International Plaza Hotel ¢ convenience of North Shore residents. handling this in a mature manner? STEWART: It seems to me that you are showing signs of maturity in getting professional help when you feol you need it. Recognizing that in “getting yourself together” you are con- tributing to the possibilities of your having good relation- ships, is another sign of maturity. Your attitude toward goals and getting your life in order, ctc., are signs of maturity. You feel like you are making progress and that, for you, is far, far more important than your interest in what I think about it or what others think. You say, “pcople keep telling mc....”, and, you ask of me, “Do you feel | am handling Vath Shore Clertrollgous Clore remove hair permanently “private consultation by appointment -facial, legs, arms, underarms = -correcting hairlines and -mmimum of discomfort eR eRe S Ema wwe Be Red Bet KBB ABRA RRS ALB AE. BE. . yourself, and others, how (Open Tuesdays only) is for the Closed Mondays 980-2022 929-4468 (res.) ‘ Room 217B Medical Dental Bullding 1940 Lonsdale, North Vancouver C9 -Wednesday, July 1, 1981 - North Shore News ao sleeping i in! Why?- ‘Could: it * four alarm. clocks and they be-that so. far, you don't. want do nothing for you; you have to run across something that even assigned: ‘some. blame — might work for-you? Imorder and say, “my. Subconscious to feel as comfortable.as you can with your. decision to be a late-sleeper, are you telling makes mé return ‘to. bed.” You Tet ‘me ‘down badly by failing: t6:add Flip: Wilson's famous one-liner, “The devil difficult your “case” is? Are made me doit.” you trying to get us to ad- ‘ mire your brave efforts to If you don’t want to get up get up early, no matter how — sleep! hard it is for you, while at But, if. you become the same time you don’t unhappy enough with that teally want to get up early. arrangement and begin: ‘to. and have pretty well decided see that you really do want against it? You are telling us to get up, then you'll find you have worked on your you have all sorts of help in “self-image” and that hasn’t doing what you have been helped; you "ve used “auto- saying is impossible for you. suggestion. tapes” and they You can do it — if and when have failed you; you’ve used you want to, for real. . _ te 1 ae vy reat ay} Derek London is pleased to announce the appointment of Avril Orr as artistic stylist to his hair design team r reg 4 a eN Lege eee t eh - 4 STEWART: Your : Mdetter appears above, exactly “a you wrote it and I'm afraid I ean't make sense out of it. Perhaps you had better acquaint yourself with the meanings of such wards as ‘expose, ‘ hips,” ‘genital area,’ and -even ‘centre of the body.’ The thing that comes clear to me is that your sister wore a skimpy swim suit which upset you. You told her that if she “dressed like a whore” she should expect to be treated like one. That part of your letter was clear, but why did you write it? Did ‘you want support in your attitude? Why do women complain about men thinking of them as sex objects and then dress in such a manner that men can’t help but think of them im that way? Don't you think if a woman exposes herself she shouldn't blame men for reacting? What's a woman exposing the genital area for, if she doesn’t want a man to think of sex? I think my sister is asking for ‘trouble, don’t you? From a brother trying to be truthful. 626 Seymour St. | : & Vancouver 684-5905 or group counselling. His this in a mature manner?” Perhaps you have already reached a level of maturity that will allow you to give more credence to what YOU feel about your growth and your maturity. One additional comment. Please don’t wait until you are “a totally together person” before you have a date. Growing in maturity is the thing. Arriving at full maturity probably never happens. So, while you are on your wise and joyful trip toward increasing maturity. for goodness sake, have a lot of natural fun too. It doesn't hold you up one little whit. Pick Up And Pitch-in Tin NdinaakLendanonsadbhekasaandoetechehSuieranetutrdubdel sunday news north shore news 985-2131 Fn Senn a eer arching eyebrowa WA PRR RNS SER RONSON OTR TNT ON NL ‘ rae