24 - Wednesday, October 27, 1999 — North Shore News
north shore news

¢ PARENTAL GUIDANCE
There are no

All 99's
“must ¢ a.
now!

Regency GM
‘Announces The

5 Jaana enka Lots more to chocse from!

Power locks, tilt, spotler & more.
Was $23,685

Demo, leather, sunroof, chrame wheels
& more. Ail options. Was $35,265

8 pass, van, A/C, power locks,
Was $26,158

Now $21,700
99 GARG Jenny 4x4 ||$9 GNC Sierra Ext. Cab

group, ray fit, cruise & more. Pd? 8k” AR, auto, 4.8 Litra V8 & more,
; Was $30,385

id $25,000 _

2 Firehawk edition, 6 speed, t-tops, A/S, leather.
_ loaded with att options. Was $23,805

Loaded, leatier, autotrac system, running hoards,
CD changer, all options. Was $58,340

_ ure With .

_. cowers in the
"corner, hav-

aGG:

THE only questicn my
wife asks that puts
more fear into me than,
“Do you notice any-
thing different about
me, honey?” is “Have
you talked to your son
about what he did
yet?”

That kind of lead-up is
usually accompanied by onc
of those squinty tooks thar
reminds me of the defective

enes T have imposed upon
fee previously pesvect family
gene pool,

There’s troubie in the
house and she’s not going to
ive me any hints of what it
is until I listen to his side of
the story, impese some dras-

tic consequence that will
ensure nothing like this ever
happens again, and then
return to her to find that his
story was complete baioney
and what the heck did I think
I was doing listening to him!

“H-m-m-m,” Pil say to
her. “Any chance you can
give me a hint on this one?”

She'll reply, “Let him tell
you. He caused the problem
and he can own up to tt,”
turning her head away in dis-

st and wiping the counter

ard enough to take the pat-
tern off the granite top. And
so, like a lamb to slaughter, I
saunter off to the appointed
bedroom
where a
humble iook-
ing little fig-

dewey eyes

ing been well
versed in the

art of waiting
until dad gets
home.

“Hi, Son. What’s up? Why

did Mom send you to your
room?” J say, knowing exact-
ly what the answer will be.

“T don’t know.” ;

’. Third sozi, and Pve been
here and done this a few
times before. “Oh. Did Mom
send you here because you
‘were so good she wanted to
preserve some moment in
perpetuity in her mind and
didn’t want it fading from
her memory by secing you -
do anything fess than angel-
ic?” He stares at me, dumb-'

founded by the word perpe- -

tuity and hence misses any
idea of what I am saying.
“I don’t know.”

“OK, what happened just :

before Mom sent you to the
toom? Did you say some-
thing to her that she didn’t .
like?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you break scme-
thing?”

“No, no, I didn’t break
anything, I promise.”

OK, now we're making
progress. He broke some-
thing and she found it but
she didn’t see him break it
and even though he was the

” only person within 250 kilo-

metres of the object, he
swears he had nothing to do.
with it, That's why’ he does-'
Aitrknow. why be’s.in hisie,

Reese. ry as DOD © kav ICY

B82. ee. LOS. AL -

“tO go near,”,;

“Tt fell when T was .
walking by, honest,
I didn’t touch id! Tt”
‘was an accident, a
real acckient, Dad:?

idenis...

rvon and his willingness to
tell a lie is the defective gene
she is blaming me for. .

My sense of purpose is
becoming cicarer. UY can just
get him to accept responsibit-
ity for what he fas done;
admit the truth to her with a
contrite look, a feigned sin--
cere apology ‘and a hug, ~
maybe I can get something ;
to eat tonight. . .

“Son, do you remember |
how we talked about taking’ -
responsi... .

“Yes, Dad, and I promise :
I didn’t break anything.”

“Remember the story —
about George Washington
and his...”

“I didn’t cut down any.
trees cither dad. 1 stand:
wrongly accused.” ~ :

ave you been watching 2
Perry Mason reruns?” I ask,
Television is ruining kids.

“I promise, I didn’t touc
the glass figurine you bought °
Mom and she told me neve

You broke. <_
what?” I blurt ~.
out, now sce-

*”

walking by, honest,’ I didn’t
touch it! Itwas an acci ent,
real accident, Dad.” *

“There are no acciderits,
only carelessness!” I declare
“That’s it pal, you’re in. you
room for a year or until yo
get enough money from all:
your relatives’ gifts 0 pay for;
a replacement.”

harsh enough sentén

“I'm furious,” I I respo
“He knows i better.”.:

“You bet,”she s says,
tomorrow I am going
send him right over.to Mr.
Wilson's to apologize for:
throwing that b:
roof.”

“The roof” I say as she
walks from the kitchen an:
shoots a glance toward the

. diningroom in response to

my fixed staring in that dire
tion. Oh-oh, I think, there i
going to be a very late din-.
ner. .
Graham Hookey is the...
author of Parenting Is A:
Teanr Spore.\°0""

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