news af the weird

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URINARY crises: Canadian
military officials told reporters in
September that 23 of their 32
Hercules transport aircraft
require expensive structural
repairs to replace a main alu-
minum beam; the beams were
corroded by urea acid from uni-
nators who splash (or miss the
mark altogether) in the planes’
crude cargo hold toilets.

And later that month, an
official of the upscale University
of Toronto Athletic Centre
health club told the National
Pest newspaper that the reason
its automatic-flush toilets
weren't working is that men
were too fasr on the draw;
because the members were
often naked when using the uri-
nals and thus did not take time
to unzip and zip, some spent
less than the minimum nine sec-
onds needed to reset the flush-
ing tigger.

o09a
A November feature in
Toronto's Globe ard Mail news-
paper recounted the exhibits in
Philadelphia’s Mutter Museum
of medical oddities, including
the preserved corpse of a
woman with a condition that
tured her fatty tissue, upon her
death, into a soap-like mass that
halted decomposition; the
“Muniz collection” of circular-
sawed Peruvian human skulls;
the extensive, 70-year-old
Chevalier Jackson Collection of
; o Objects Swallowed and Inhaled;
encereccsecccccsee dd ff ere and the huge colon (described
, ; : as “about the size of a large bas-
set hound”) thar caused fatal
constipation.

000
When Lawrence Russell
Brewer Jr., the second defen-
dant to go to trial in the 1998

-Age
Activities 0.000.000... dennis
Favourite fed .......... sushl

i it’s news,
3

thon it’s in
the News.

: Ee ng presents:
Moorcroft Potter é“ one 99
Tradition

"ottery
1532 hentale Ave’ W. van, 926-7710
Christmas Concert
Saturday, Dec. 11
2:30 p.m. & 7:60 p.m.
West Vancouver United Church
(2ist and Marine)

4 concert to remember,
this years Christmas concert will be broken down into
two sections. The afternoon performance will feature
the Beginner and juntor Bands, with a brief
appearance by the Sentor Band. The evening
performance will feature the Junior and Sentor Bands
along with “Timibalaitka" featuring Wendy Bross
Stewart (pianist), Glatre Klein Osopov (vocalist) as
well as, Jean Ramsbottom (claritet), Steven
Kartotsatich Caccordion), and WVY3 alumnt Martin
Fisk (percussion). This ts another, not to be missed
event, and wilt feature music of the Christmas:
and Hannukab season,

death, showed up in a Bryan,
Texas, courtroom in Seprember
1999, the arresting sheriff had
trouble — recognizing him
because Brewer was so much
heavier (having gone from a 30-
inch waist to a 40). Brewer's
explanation was that he so
feared that a Y2K computer
erash would wipe out his prison
sommissary account that he had
decided to spend down ail his
moncy right away on junk food.

Ogg

Least competent criminals:
In September, Roland Tough,
22, and tive colleagues, con-
vieted of theft in Greater
Manchester, England, were
given prison sentences of from
three to six vears. The men had
burglarized a Tesco's depart-
ment store in Walkden, with
Tough commemorating the
heist as the gang’s official pho-
tographer. However, Tough
later dropped off the roll of
film for processing at the very
same Tesco’s, and employees
recognized some of the stolen
items.

Qna0

Undignified Deaths: In
October, a 36-year-old woman
was killed instantly walking
along Wabash Avenue in
dowritown Chicago when hit
by a pane of glass that had fall-
en from the 29th floor ofa sky-
scraper owned by an insurance

company.
¢ next day, in the village
of Tracadie Cross, Prince
Edward Island, a driver lost
centrol of a hearse and killed a

Friday, December 10, 1999 - Nort: Shore News ~ 1

68-year-old pallbearer as he
emerged from a funeral at a
church.

o00

Also, in the last month: A
Tas Vegas TV producer and
photographer were fired for
creating “on the scene”
footage of — October's
California earthquake by rock-
ing their video truck. A 29-
year-old man who had just
failed a driving test for the
fourth time drove his car into a
testing office, just missing the
five examiners inside (Bergen,

rary

Norway). Frances and Harold
Mountain squatted on a court-
room floor to divide up nearly
100 Beanie Babies, the last
items of property ta be settled
before their divorce became
final (Las Vegas). A judge ruled
that a husband was so unhy-
gienic (ignoring a toilet that
had overflowed into the dining
room) that it would be
grounds for divorce (Bucnos
Aires). At a chess tournament
on Spain’s Minorca island, the
country’s governing sports
organization ordered urine-
sample drug tests.

Bond S$ Choice

Aatomate chronometer.
Water-resntant ta joom/mceft,
OMEGA ~ Swas mate since hed,

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PARK ROYAL SOUTH
West Vancouver 925-2043