32 — Sunday, January 26, 1992 — North Shore News | LIFESTYLES Are apologies in order for strange behavior? DEAR MISS MANNERS — I am recovering from a head injury sustained a year and a half ago. During the worst of it, my short-term memory and thought processes were badly impaired. My emotions were uninhibited — i.e., there were no stoppers on them once they got stirred up in ore direction or another. I almost lost my job and my marriage. The symptoms are quite faded vow. I am trying to put right a lot of chacs my impairments caused, but one thing has me stumped. There is 2 handsome, thoughtful man at work, whom I “quite like."’ With my head inju- ry, ‘‘quite like” translated into heart palpitations, dizziness and utter hopeless love in his presence. I managed not to say or do anything over to him, mostly by avoiding him or just keeping my mouth shut. But I couldn't stop my face these overly Strong emotions. Gace he even remarked on what a good mood I was in. I am sure ke knew J loved aim, but he never did anything to overtly recognize "Now ly in his gize to : T tanh that for s while he was encomfortable around me. I respect bim‘ immensely and would - like his to know that I do, and that I’m sorry I grinned at him . like a foolfora while. - ' .GENTLE READER — . The . gentleman i in question seems to be a’ master of tact, in addition to his presence, should I apolo- being “handsome: and _ thoughtful. Miss Manners is in danger of fall- ing in love with him herself. But she does not see the temp- tation as ~eing an excuse to em- barrass somcone who has: taken - such care-to avoid embarrassing “you. He understands the advan- tage of not bringing impossible - situations out into. the open, whcre they must be acknowledged and .dealt with, and so should you. So let, the matter. alone. It is also entirely possible. that he mistook your behavior for i imper- sonal goodwill DEAR MISS MANNERS — Last Jaly, on the day of my bridal backelor replacement we found wanted us ‘to go through pre-marriage 9S We postponed the . New my fiance says that I know ‘he wanted to marry in December, on his father’s birthday (his father is now deceased) in remembrance Continuing ed calendar available were missed in the December mail-drop of the 1992 winter term tkat I can breatke normal. Judith Martin MISS MANNERS of him, so he suggested we wait antil next December. I don’t have a problem with that, althongh we have been together four and a half years, liv- ing together three years, and we have a 19-month-old son and a five-month-old daughter. The problem is that Ihave received shower gifts and one wedding gift. Should I return them? _ GENTLE READER — Miss Manners is glad you don’t have a problem with the wedding date. This saves her the difficulty of weighing your fiance’s idea of fil- 200 e jal duty against what she would imagine to be his parental duty. Shower and wedding presents need be returned only when a wedding is cancelled. As yours has been merely postponed, you need not worry about them. DEAR MISS MANNERS — At a dinner party for six, which is our favorite way of entertaining, my husband and I noticed that one woman kept bringing the conversation around to herself. If we tried asking questions of other guests, for example, it seemed that with ease and fluency she was able to treat these questions as vehicles for expressing ber thoughts and recounting her experiences. As my husband said ruefully after the guests left, “‘We were up’ against a professional."* We would appreciate any tips you may offer to keep such a per- som from monopolizing our even- ing. GENTLE READER — What you have encountered is generally known as a bore — and one who seems to know her business, as your husband has pointed out. Rest assured that nearly everyone who refuses to resort to outright rudeness can be victimized by a determined bore. : Nevertheless one must try to fight back, if only for the sake of other guests. Practise saying politely, ‘‘Just a second, Lola — we haven’t heard Gary’s answer yet’? and “Excuse me — but aren’t you eager to first hear what Angie has to say about that?’”’ Miss Manners wishes you luck. The only sure way to deal with bores is identify them and then strike them from your guest list. DIABETES RESEARCH VOLUNTEERS NEEDED For a study using a new oral medication for control of Type II non-insulin dependent diabetes. If interested, please call: q LIONS GATE HOSPITAL LIONS GATE DIABETES DAY CENTRE weosPITAL 984-5752 - C4 | COME lie WITHUS! 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