O Canada is finally
our official national
-anthem. Thank
goodness [m_tone-
deaf.

Don't get me wrong.The
opening stanza of O Canada
is my favorite national
anthem, with Rule Britannia
and The Star-Spangled
Banner tying for second
piace. After that, zip.

The advantage of being
tone-deaf has nothing to do
with the merits of O Canada
as a song. or even as an
anthem. It simply means that
I never get asked to sing.

On those few occasions
when I found. myself stan-
ding on a stage with a bunch
of other people, and the
music struck up, somebody
would always nudge me and
say:“Goldfishit.”

It’s a showbiz ‘term
meaning that I should open
and close my mouth as
though truly singing, but

should avoid making any -

sounds whatsoever.
This is always presented as

A man on board a B.C.
ferry, who. appeared: to have
forgotten something he had
left on shore leaped over the
side of the ferry and swam
back towards the wharf,
presumably to collect
whatever he had left, has
several people wonderng
whatever became of him.

The man, who was about
30 and wearing a jean outfit,
jumped from the Queen of
Coquitlam as it was leaving
Horseshoe Bay for Nanaimo,

“Me UATVURAL CUT

my duty to others who are
trying to “harmonize,”
whatever that ts, or “carry a
tune,” whatever that may
involve.

With O Canada it’s a darn
good thing that nobody
wants me to sing, because |
could never remember the
words beyond the first
stanza in the old version and
I've yet to even Aear a new
version.

one @

In England, once, I went
to one of those pubs where a
plump older lady banged on
a piano and the customers
were welcome to come up
front and sing whatever they
wanted into the microphone.

Well, I'd downed a few
pints and got excited with
nostalgia for the homeland
(had been out of the country
for a year) and decided to
give the locals a treat.
Climbed to the mike, started
droaning Obhhhhhbh
Caaaaaaaanadaaaa, and, lo
and behold, the lady piano
player, even though a Brit,

shortly after 3 p.m. Thurs-
day last week.

A passenger saw the man
jump as the ferry had just
cleared the dock leads. The
witness told West Van-
couver Police he got the
impression the man _ had
forgotten something at the
fast minute and decided to
return for it. A backpack
was found in the area from
where the man had jumped
but the pack contained no
identification.

An officer of the ferry who

pb y Bob Hunter

anada’- pub style

immediately started tinkling
and clanking out the dear
old familiar tune.

Darned if three-quarters
of the people in the pub
didn’t chime m, as though
they too had sung the thing
over and over every school
day of their lives. I guess
they'd fought shoulder-to-
shoulder with
Canuck during
pleasantness.
scene, anyway.

They stayed with me, even
though my totally out-of-
tune, tone-deaf, unhar-
monious voice was braying
over the loudspeakers, right
through to the second set of
We Stand On Guard For
Thees.

the
A moving

eos

Just as the _ final
Theeeeeeeeee was echoing
through the pub and the
people were leaping to their
feet, waving foamy mugs of
beer, all hyped to carry on
together, waiting only for my
lead, it dawned on me that I
couldn't remember a single
line past Glorious and Free.

MYSTERY AT HORSESHOE BAY
Man leaps from ferry

also saw the man leap, said
the man appeared to be a
strong swimmer. The officer
felt the man would definitely
be able to swim to the floats
at Bay Boats or Sewells.

However, a search of the
area failed to locate the
swimmer. Although it ts
thought he probably swam
ashore, anyone with = in-
formation concerning the
outcome of the man's leap ts

asked to call West Van-

couver Police at 922-414).

After that, it got kind of
confused, mixed in with a
Canadiana version of This
Land Is Your Land, with
phrases from God Save the
Queen being shunted around
wildly in my memory banks,
along with bits and pieces
from the Lord’s Prayer.

God Save O Canada,
From Bonavista to Kingdom
Come. Forever and Ever.
Long Live True Patriot
Love, On Earth As Our Sons
Command In Heaven...

Let me just say that it was
very embarassing not to be
able to finish off one’s own
national anthem (even if it
wasn't official then) in front
of a pub full of patriots, even
if they were British.

The only thing to do was
to repeat the We Stand On

Guard For Theeeeeee line
like a stuck record until one
by one the fevered patriots
who were standing sat down
and the ecstatic piano-player
lady lost her enthusiasm,

finally wrapping things up.

with a keyboard flourish
allowing me to slink away
from the mike. Unpatriotic
cur that I was. Couldn't even

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remember his own (unof-
ficial) national anthem.
Actually T like the chorus
in the version that was
written a few years back by ©
Vancouver folksinger Vera
Johnson. It goes like this: -
O Canada,
Someday I hope youll be,
Like the song says.

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