Seeking : soluti I usually try to fill this space with a lightheart- ed look at something related to raising a fami- ly or maintaining a mar- riage. And there is no shortage of humorous material from which to draw, as most parents know. But it’s noe all fun and games raising 3 family today, especial- ly if' you are a single parent. I'm dedicating, this column to all the single parents who are handling things on their own, with lite or no support from the other parent. They come from all walks of life, are both male and female, and are generally struggling in one way or another, even if they don’ t shaw i it on the surface. I'm not just talking about deadbeat dads (although I understand they far outnum- ber the number of deadbeat moms out there). I know a couple of territic dads who are handling the emotional and financial burden of raising their children with- out any assistance trom the children’s mothers, and they are doing an impressive job. But } seem to know an awful for more single mothers who are raising their children alone than I do fathers. You probably do too. Thev’re the women whose marriages have ended and who cannot make ends meet with the level of child support they receive from their ex-partners. Some of them receive no support at all. They are often untrained, working at menial jobs for minimum wage and a mod- icum of self-esteem if they work at all. Or they end up on welfare. Oh yes, and they're living below the poverty line right here on in one of Canada’s most affuent areas. One gal I know has had a really had time as a single mom. She and her husband split up after the birth of her second child, and she hasn’t received any child support since. Unfortunately her par- ents don’t have the means to give her any financial assistance either. On top of that, both of her preschool-aged children are mentally disabled, and require special care. She had to ge to horren- dous lengths to prove to the Ministry for Children and Families that she even deserved social assistance. She now works full time as a wait- News seeks miliennium baby plans PLANNING a roman- tic evening during Millennium Baby Week? The News is looking for moms and dads planning for a millennium baby, this being the best week to conceive iF you're planning to give birth the first day of the new mil- lennium. Prospective parents are asked to contace Sarah Voodend at 985-2131, extension 174. ress, and she is learning to access community support where she can. But she lives in a tiny apartment, she cannot afford her car payments, and she stands in line for groceries at the local food bank. Not only that, her husband has even stopped visiting the kids, so she rarely gets a break. Understandably, she’s stressed and depressed, but she carries on because her family is more important to her than anvthing else. You have to wonder just what can be going through her ex-partner’s mind, that he doesn’t feel that way too. Frankly, E don’t get it. Another gal T know split up from her husband six years ago. She went back to work full time as a nurse and is rais- ing three teenagers, an enor- mous job on its own, Her hus- band was inconsistent with his financial support right fron the beginning, but as time went on he literally lost all interest in giving her any money. In fact, last year he quit his job because he got ured of making child support payments. Luckily she has parents who are able to help her out with her rent each month, She's fed up with trying to squeeze blood trom a stone (her analogy for trying to get moncy trom her husband), bur at the same time she admits she’s one of the Jucky ones, At least she has parents who can north shore news PARENTAL GUIDANCE help her with her bills. Doesn't seem fair though, does it? Another friend had an ex- husband who was pretty good with child support until he lost his jab. Around the same time he meta well-to-do woman. and, not surprisingly, simulrs- neously lost his desire to find a new job. Because he lives ina different city from his wife and children, he doesn’ have to face the immediate needs of his family. Out of sight is out of mind, T guess. In most of these situations it’s not only the single parent who suffers when financial or emotional support is with- drawn by a parent. According to an experi- enced locai family support worker I know, the children in these splintered families end up losing out too, When a par- ent doesn’t assist with appro- Wednesday, April 7, 1999 ~ North Shore News - 21 priate support, children feel unioved and uncared for. It’s irresponsible, disrespectful, and reprehensible, if you ask me. Obviously we should all do what we can for our own fami- lies, but there are things we can do for our friends manag: ing as single parents too. Ask a Slagle parent you know what you can do to help, whether it’s driving, babysttting or helping them access important That’s the ticket KATRINA Tilley and sons Cameron and Drew, with friend Brittany McCallum, drew a winning raffle ticket at Maplewood Parent Participation Preschcool’s recent Easter Fun Fair and silent auction. The preschool is locat- ed on Seymour River Piace, next to Maplewood Farm. Fun is just the beginning... At GYMBOREE, vour first expe- rience of FUN is FREE! Come to a preview class and try out over 40 pieces of specially-built play equipment. Every class offers fun surprises, upbeat music and movement in an exciting learning atmosphere. GYMBOREE understands how ail the elements of play, growth and learning build together, ons for single parents resources. Then foliow through with your offe7. At the community level, support the local non-profit organizations working to help families with volunteer time and financial contributions. And give the single parents vou know a big pat on the back. Because most of them are Working incredibly hard for their families. — dumpers@bcsynpatice.ca NEWS photo Pau! McGrath our parenis/child play program is the worldwide leader in age-appropriate classes for children 3 months through 44 years old. Come join in the fun! calamnlnantaealen hnaleaetone taelenteaionlandantentontentaetanlertanteetnatentaetnatastentmeen FREE PREVIEW CLASS Please call for class times suitable for your child. 984-2370 GYMBOREE SPOR ON GR AMS H Classes are held at: 1 St. David's United Church ! 1525 Taylor Way, West Van PL AE LY!