wee Te ma

Wednesday, December 18, 1991- North Shore News — 47

The helping hands of Christmas

THIS 18 the fourth instalment of the Helping Hands of Christmas, a
festive tale spun by North Vancouver writer David Jenneson, presented

in six parts by the North Shore News.

the snow.

In summer it was one of the
dreariest and most pathetic spots
on Earth, and its clientele didn’t
do much to improve the image.

You got the weirdest people in
there. Masterpieces of anonymity,
aging greaseballs ,marooned in
time, worm mothers with more
kids than money, old men with
the shakes who sat by the window
and thought about 1925, and th
occasional pretty girl. .

In summer they ali had two
things in common: one was that
they were sweating and the other
was dirty clothes. .

But now Christmas aad the
snow had lest this place an air of
brief coziness. -

The windows were steamed up
‘and the little kids had Christmas
coursing in their blood like some’
drug. ;

The people were just as weird as

‘-ever but now they were happy
weird people.

Actually, | was probably the |

weirdest one of all. | had six
hands working 24 hours a day for
me, and had the people there
known ‘that they would’ve ac-
. knowledged my superior weirdness
'. with assenting nods.
. \ Laundry with me was.a long
haui.

. Because] was now the proud
owner of one party I had to have
-clean clothes, and that meant: I
‘ had to shake down a couple of
dozen empty beer bottles, my sole
‘equity, for quick cash.

The next best thing

to DOWN
Twin 58.98
Double
Queen

King 102.98

ACK IN the real world the laundromat was
crowded and steamy and had a big puddle
around the door where people had tracked in

By David Jenneson
Contributing Writer

Then I had to walk them up to
the depot, make the transaction,
walk back home and find all my
dirty clothes — which is as good
as saying all my clothes.

The hands helped me.

Next I had to work my way
down to the laundromat and wait
for a washer and then wait for a
dryer, which broke down, and the
whole thing took over 3% hours.

By the end of it ! was so mad I

‘didn’t even go home *» see the

hands. I took my laundry for a
beer, where, sitting opposite ine,
the big green garbage bag wasn't
too conversational.

So finally me and my laundry,
my only friend, went home where

I found my bed.

“My God!’ cried Poppy.
“Whai’ve you done to this place!
Wow, you must’ve worked weeks
on it, Where'd you get all the
lumber?’’

“On,” I said. “Around.”

“!H. bet,’’ said Poppy. She
knew my ways, or she thought she
did.

“Where’s the Green Man?’ I
asked. ;

The Green Man was what {
called her husband. It was what a

Channeled & Baffled
(Top of the Line)

Twin 440.00
Souble 955.00
Queen

lot of people called her husband.
This is because in certain lights
the shadows on his face took on a
pronounced greenish hue.

**He’s gone down with Marie to

get some beer. You'll like her. -

She’s from Montreal.”’

‘*How come she came all the
way out here, right at
Christmas?”’

“Her parents broke up and cne
went to England, the other went
to Hawaii, and she came out here
because she didn’t want to be with
just one of them.”’

“Hmmm, nice Christmas,’’ [
said.

“Yeah, I know. Well, you’re
good at cheering people up.””

‘*Do my best.”’

Now it suddenly struck Poppy
that besides new looks, this house
abounded with new smells. She*
couldn’t believe it when she saw
the receding acres of dinner: bean
salad, milk potatoes; vast
cauldrons of gravy, cold turkey,
cranberry sauce and enovgh other
food to feed the emergency divi-

Apartment Duck

Down Quilts
Twin 160.60
Double 4125.06
Queen 144.00
169.00

sion of Santa’s Helpers.

“Who cooked all
asked, eveing me.

“Me,”’ I said, somewhat lacking
in conviction.

“You couldn't boil an egg.”

“Maybe not, but I can sure as
hell cook a goose. Lookit this."' I
showed her the prize, all captured
in its own juices, a culinary mes-
siah.

I'd just like to say I felt bad
about this though, taking the
credit away from the real chefs.
But those damn hands wouldn't
let me lift a finger.

I just sat in the kitchen with
them all day while they slaved. I
smoked cigarettes and read a Ray
Bradbury novel. And one of them
was in charge of keeping me
there.

Every time my coffee mug emp-
tied, the little devil topped it right
back up again. It was my slim
lady favorite left hand and it en-
joyed service of this nature.

“T don’t know,’’? Poppy said.
She didn’t quite believe me.

Just then I saw a little flick of
movement in the pantry. Christ. A
hand, trapped out of place.

this?” she

“Isn’t that the Green Man and |

what’s-her-name,'" 1 stuttered
out. ‘‘Let’s ga, I want to see his
face when he walks in.’’

On my way out | jerked my
thumb toward the bedroom door,
meaning for the hand to get back
in the box under the bed where it
belonged. This had gone too far
to foul up now. :

AD

Wishing you and your families
joy and happiness ail season through.

DEEPER
Specializing in Blinds and Draperies for over 7 years
4877 Marine Dr., N. Van.

i #438918 Progress Way, Squamish
Whistler

The Green Man's face was
slightly moss-green when he
walked in, and the girl was real
nice-looking and I liked her.

She saw the long wooden tables
and benches all decked with care
and said, ‘‘Did you do all this?”’

“*All this?”? 1 looked around.

‘Yeah. That’s really great.
Who else lives here?”’

“Just me,”’ FE said. | guess that
wasn't guite true either. :

“All by yourself. And you did
all this? You really believe in
Christmas, don’t you?”

“Oh yes. Without a doubt it’s
my favorite time of year.”’

Then she asked me what I did
for a living and I said, “1 read
mewspapers,’’ and she laughed and
said, ‘That's a good job.””

I liked her.

The dinner came off naturally.
All my old pals and girls | knew
and people who’d done me favors
sat in rows and ate and drank like
old, old days of all the
Christmases you forgot had never
happened and the Christmases
you'd expected and they’d’ never
happened either.

Well, it was happening now.

The thing I was enjoying most,
though, was the girl who was sit-
ting beside me and. telling. me all
about Montreai. :

““It’s.a°good place," she said.
“You should go there.” =

“I have.” And-f told her. all
about how. { hitch-hiked there and
back in the summer of 1967.

To be continued.

984-4104 |
892-5857 |
932-6647 |