IN THE great Canadian’ ‘dog’ s breakfast known as politics,
the thing to do is to look for black humor: like Chuck
Cook and Mary Collins kissing the backside of French
Canada, Amazing Grace and Brian Smith pretending to be
‘martyrs, and cross-eyed media maniacs going around iti

circles.

Example: the popular percep-

tion, as presented by your friendly |

dailies and the CBC, is that
Vander Slam is dying if not
already dead. But that’s today.
Yesterday he was a hero and
tomorrow rarely comes.

The media pundits are wunncr-
ful. Where, for instance, is the
two-echelon provincial. cabinet
they promised us, or did I dream
all that stuff? And how come that
Elwood Veitch isn’t attorney
general? Hadn’t my comrades of
print and television already ap-
pointed him, thereby causing
storms in Never-Never Land?

As for the main event, from
West to East across the True
North the welkin rings with
speculation on the death of Slam
and the collapse of the Social
Credit Party (which of course can-
not survive without Herself). Even
Mr. David Barrett is hauled out of
his hidey-hole to pronounce a few
obsequies.

There is nothing of which the
Slam is not guilty, it seems. That
great fortune-teller Marjorie
Nichols claimed on a radio pro-
gram that he is responsible for the
decline in Tory fortunes in B.C.

Me, I know nothing, just like
Manuel in Fawlty Towers. But a
few thoughts crop up:

Isn't it possible that Herself is
out because she couldn’t be Queen

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Bee, the Slam having refused to
let her write her own ticket?

Isn't it also’ possible that Brian
Smith was still running the leader-
ship race?

I get suspicious when politicians
get holy and kiss each other for
the benefit of television.

k k

Speaking of laughs: Herself’s
former ministry of economic
development puts out a puff sheet
called Speaking of Business and in
the latest issue it says: ‘‘Stay alert
—- government needs are chang-
ing.”’ On the opposite page, Grace
is smiling.

xk &* *

English Canada has put another
nail in its coffin with the passage
of Bill C-72, the new Official
Languages Act that condemns us
to second-class status on the
federal front.

The deed was done by Brian
Baloney, who acted in concert
with the Liberals and NDP to

screw the few honest Tories who -

were opposing‘it. And Brian hur-
ried back from holidays to shove
this bit of dirt down the Anglo
throat.

In the end, not one of the
Tories who stood by their guns
was from B.C.

Mary Collins was never with

them, of course. She’s the B.C.
caucus chairman and knows on
which side her political bread is
buttered. What’s good for Brian is
good for her even if it’s bad for
you. ,

Disappointingly, Stan Graham
the Kootenay man opted for
surrender.

What made me puke, however,

’ was that Chuck Cook was seen on

the box applauding Baloney when

the fatter said C-72 is a great thing:

for Canada.

Until the crunch came, Cook
was one of the ‘‘dinosaurs’? who
resisted the three-party machine.

It’s small wonder that people
like Margaret Davis, wife of Jack,
have been seen at Reform Party
meetings.

kr kk Ok

Did it surprise you that B.C.
now has a minister of immigra-
tion? He’s John Jansen, who also
has the international business
portfolio.

My reading of that is that the
Socreds lust to bring more Asiatic
money into the province, and with
it more Asiatics. 1 hope I’m wrong
but fear 1m right.

xk k& *

The final laugh for today is that
the feds and the Ontario govern-
ment have spent $10 million on
co-op housing for Tamil im-
migrants in Toronto.

Included in the recipients of this
humanitarian gesture are those
who drifted up in boats off the
coast of Newfoundland, claiming
to have come from India.

We are nothing if not mad. @

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9 - Sunday, July 10, 1988 ~ North Shore News

This week at councils

NORTH VANCOUVER CITY
COUNCIL, Monday, July 11, at 6
p.m.; committee of the whole (in-
camera) re: city land Esplanade
Street & Rogers Avenue/ former
site Sergio’s Oyster Bar. Council
re: right to quiet/BC Transit North
Vancouver terminal closure/ pro-
pane, natural gas and dangerous
goods bylaw/ rezoning applica-
tions for 620 West 15th St., 224
West 16th St./ rezoning bylaw text
amendment accessory home oc-
cupation use/ Tempe Heights
phase Vil marketing.

NORTH VANCOUVER
DISTRICT COUNCIL, Monday,
Suly 11, at 7:30 p.m.: bylaws re:
dog tax and regulation/ gaming:
bingo and casinos/ Ramrod-Mat-
sumoto 3785-3829 Dollarton. Poli-
cy and planning’ committee re:
Queensdale official community
plan/ district official plan planning
objectives/ movie filming in Deep
Cove and Norgate/ residential

waste cart services/ proposed
highways exchange Draycott Road
~— Maple Leaf Garden Spot/ repis-
tered illegal suite agreements/ reg-
ulation of priveie skateboard
ramps/ BC Transit relocation.
WEST VANCOUVER DISTRICT
COUNCIL, Monday, July 11, at
7:45 p.m.: policy and planning
committee re: noise from garden
equipment/ Collingwood School
temporary school facilities/
development permits Cypress Bowl
Road property, Safeway 1650
Marine Dr. Council re: reconvened
public hearing for zoning 320
Taylor Way at 680 Marine Dr./
public meeting for Cypress Bowl
Road/ bylaws.

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