4 - Friday, June 26, 1987 - North Shore News

Bob Hunter

@ strictly personal ®

WIFE-BEATING. it’s like child molesting — one of
those things you know goes on out there, but not the sort
of thing you want to think about much.

Yet the subject has been
brought to the surface rather
dramatically by the report that
a million Canadian women
“tmay be’’ abused by their hus-
bands or partners.

My wife and I looked at each
other in amazement when we
read that. One in six? Quickly,
we rifled through the list of
couples we know, trying to
imagine who would beat his
wife.

After all, we are mellow West
Coast types, into boating and
barbecues around the backyard
pool and all that sort of thing.

A million Canadian women
being beaten? Who dares do
this? Ull stand forth and smite
them, unspeakable cads!

Must be mostly Albertans, I
thought shamelessly. Couldn’t

_ be around here.

The Canadian women I know
are a rather assertive lot. I can’t
see them putting up with much
guff. But maybe that’s just
middle-class liberated Canadian
women, an odd species.

The figure of a million beaten
women, the author of the
report for the Status of Women
counci] said, was ‘‘a very con-
servative guesstimate’’.

It was tagged ‘‘unprovable’’
right away by a critic. My hope
would be that it is grossly exag-
gerated, but it might not be —
in which ~case,.’ undoubtediy,
something more should be done
for women who are victims.

But how you get to be a vic-
tim is something that should be
looked at too, because I’m cer-

. tain that attitude is everything
— women’s as well as men’s.

My own role-model for
behavior toward women was, if
anybody, Sgt. Preston of the
Mounties. It was a shock to be
told too late in life that chivalry
was sexism.

I was raised by a mother who
heavily prograrmmed me to treat
women with respect. None of
my uncles were the kind of men
who would physically bully a
woman around. None of the
neighbors that I can recall,
either — but this might have
been childhood innocence, and
behind the locked doors of
those little stucco bungalows,
the neighborhood moms were
being tortured.

In any event, ever vigilant
about attitude, I instructed my
sons from as soon as they were
old enough to listen that they
should ‘never, ever, under any
circumstances, hit girls. It is
disgusting, creepy and unman-

ly, the lowest power-trip of all.

If she physically attacks you,
I tell them, run. Tell-on her to
your mother, is my advice. Bot-
tom line: try to use peer-group
pressure to make her mend her
violent ways.

My oldest son reports that by
the time he got to high school,
gangs of tough girls were the
item to watch out for. Girls
were into ‘‘skrag-fighting,’’ too
— which meant fighting other
girls.

I took this, on the positive
side, as a sign of increased fe-
male assertiveness —~ and
therefore good news, although I
had ta sympathize with my son,
living in terror of being harass-
ed by gangs of girls like that.

As far as battering goes, the
woman who tolerates that kind
of stupid brutality in our mod-
erm society has to be lacking in
self-esteem. She doesn’t have
the right survival attitude,
which is: be tough!

But the basic attitudes of
women have to be changing. By
‘comparison, I’m not sure that
male attitudes are changing
about anything, so it is up to
women to alter basic power
relationships by learning to
stand up for themselves. The
sooner they start, the better.

It is intriguing watching my
three-year-old daughter
develop. She’s the real video
generation, and she has an en-
tire collection of sword-waving
female heroines, led by She-Ra,
the no-nonsense female
counterpart to He-Man. Even
legendary Barbie has a_ rock
band now. She’s financially in-
dependent.

The problem we have with
our real-life young warrioress/
rock star is teaching her not to
chop Daddy or big brother in
half with substitute swords,
with the cry: ‘‘Power!’’ Asser-
tive! Whew!

My other daughter, a proud
young woman with enormous
earrings, is taking judo lessons
‘this summer, she having decid-
ed to add karate chops to her
repertoire of verbal . defence
skills.

All of which is fine when
you’re cornered, but otherwise
my advice to them on how to
deal with a guy who hits them
is: Leave immediately. Get out
of there. We'll worry about
calling the cops and the lawyers
later.

As for continuing a relation-
ship with a guy who hits you,
except under rare cir-
cumstances, forget it!

NV District park,
development opens

THE RESIDENTIAL future of
North Vancouver District has ar-

rived.

The recent official opening of
the Indian River Park and residen-
tial neighborhood marks the con-
crete realization of a comprehen-
sive development approach to
municipal planning.

“‘We are very proud of it,”’ said
municipai planner Kai Kreuchen of
the district’s newest residential
neighborhood.

The four-acre neighborhood
park has been developed to serve
1,290 dwelling units planned for
the area. Kreuchen said approx-

imately half have been built to date
with the housing mix breaking into
63 per cent single-family housing
on lot sizes ranging in width from
40 to 60-feet, 19 per cent
townhouses and 18 per cent
apartment density accommoda-
tion.

“it’s the first integrated
neighborhood with a variety of
densities in it,’ said Kreuchen. He
said the family-oriented
neighborhood will generate de-
mand for an elementary school.
Site acquisition and funding ar-
rangements for a school are cur-
rently under negotiation with the
provincial government.

MINIMUM TRADE ALLOWANCE

EXAMPLE:

1987 PONY L
LESS TRADE

56795
+1000

*PLUS FREIGHT, PREP AND OPTIONS
*INCLUDES FACTORY REBATES

TEL i

(SUBJECT TO BANK TERMS AND APPROVAL)

latlow svunorn
4695 Marine Dr. 9 8 6 . 4 2 9 1