WHILE away on vacation in the United States recently, I could- n’t help but notice how many bumper stickers I Saw On Cars, One in particular really caught my eve, and that was the one thar said, “My kid made the honor roll.” What a blatant boast, I thought when I first saw it, and as I passed the car bear- ing the sticker I had to restrain myself from flipping the bird to the driver, (1 know, I know, P’'m very immature.) And I set myself to the task of creating a suit- able rebuttal to the sticker. Of course, this was com- pletely unnecessary, as within a few minutes I spotted another car with a bumper sticker on it that read, “My kid beat up your honor stu- dent.” I laughed out loud and decided at that moment that some bumper stickers are actually very cool. At the very least, they incite readers to react, even if it is negatively. Since then I’ve done a little digging around in the area of bumper stickers, and here’s what [’ve found out. First of all, bumper stickers have been around for a very long time, probably as long as cars have. They originated as cardboard signs with messages painted on them that were tied to the old car bumpers with rope or wire, usually advertising a business or politician or some such wor- thy thing. But they have evolved, over the years, into reflections of car owners’ per- sonalities, usually in the form of cheeky one-liners. They are a form of exhibi- tionism, much like hats and T-shirts are. Bumper stickers are not a totally American phenome- non, they're here in Canada too, although on the North Shore there seem to be fewer than you'd find say, in East Vancouver. There’s a reason for this, and that has to do with the high standard of living we North Shore residents enjoy. You see, the more affluent the area, the more likely it is chat the citizens of that area will own newer cars. Newer model cars usually have painted bumpers. In the old days you north shore news could remove a bumper stick- er from a chrome bumper with a razor blade, and not do any damage. But modern, Painted bumpers chip, or the sun fades the paint around the sticker but not under- neath it. Jia addition, newer bempers are not always shaped to display 4 bumper sticker effectively. As with any display of per- sonal sentiment, some people love bumper stickers, and others hate them. In Jan and Michael Stern s Enevelopedia of Bad Taste (HarperCollins), bumper stickers are described as “a way to unload free-tloat- ing hostility, with no purpose other than to give the rasp- berry to other drivers.” That’s certainly how I felt when I read the bumper stick- er about the honour student. However, I'm not so sure that bumper stickers are really the lowest common denomi- nator of the written English language. I sce bumper stick- ers as simple, sometimes inspiring graffiti. And most of the ones Fve seen have been funny, if not a tad cheeky, Take the one that reads; “Drink until he’s cute.” Now what woman, even in today’s modern world wouldn't find a little humour in that line? There are more than a few really great bumper stickers, Outstanding Selection of Designer Clothing eJones New York *Adrienne Vittadini yeKaren Kane Sigrid Olsen usan Bristol «Liz Claiborne *Jax *Steilmann eJones & Co. *French Dressing Doraz and many more ... Thursday, June 10th - Monday;June 14th and what makes them great is thar they make people smile. An elderly gentleman friend of mine, who happens to be married to a very religious woman but has never embraced the church to the extent that his wife has, was Christmas one vear by his kids: “Jesus is coming, look busy.” Even his wife found the numour in thar. As a very apprehensive mother in the process of try- ing to teach a lead-footed 16- year-old boy how to drive, I really liked the bumper sticker I saw that reads “Clear the road. 1] am 16,” A golfer friend of mine ‘PARENTAL GUIDANCE Sticking your message where the sun sh sports a sticker that reads “Galfis how [rough it” on the humper of his car. Cute, huh? 1 find the most irritating bumper stickers to be the ones where the printing is too small te read. As a very cautious driver, I get nervous tailgating the vehicle in front of me just to make out what is on the bumper sticker, yet T have to know what is on it, It just goes to show vou that bumper stickers beg to be read; they are in your face and therefore difficult to ignore. Much like other people's cel- lular phone conversations. You don’t really want to hear inés what they're saving, but vou can’t help bur listen in. And there is overkill. Cars that sport a doze bumper stickers or more diminish the impact of the bumper sticker. Come on, there’s only so much F really want io know about the guy or gal in the car in front of me anyway, One bumper sticker is plenty, thank vou. Occasionally you'll see a really briliiant bumper sticker; one thar is not only clever, bur also inspirational. My favourite is the one that reads, “He who laughs, fasts,” sec- ond only to “Horn broken, watch for middle finger.” humpers@be.svmpatico.ca Photo submitted sucks for brains . WEST Bay School’s Odyssey of the Mind team, bound for the world finals in Knoxville, Tenn. get a $300 boost from Canada Trust's Brian Blackwood. Please attend our OPEN Fiouse! this Saturday, June 12", 11 am - 2 pm, at North Star North Star meets and exceeds the provincial government's Curriculum Guide as a minimum standard, Please come and see what a Montessori education can do for your child! TELEPHONE 980-1205 FOR MORE INFORMATION Spend summer with kids ABOUT five million children in Canada will be home from school this summer. , Many are already looking forward to lazy days of video eunes, television or hanging out at the mali with friends. Debbie Van’ Kiekebelt, host of Canadian Living Television offers five things to do with your children that will add value to their sum- mer: . B rake your children to work. Offer career ideas and gener- ate respect for your c-pabili- ties outside the home; @ prepare nutritious meals together. It’s a fun way to bond with your children; B exercise with your children; @ have zest for fife. Encourage them to try a new Sport, take them on a hike. Let your children know that it is OK to take risks; B give your children freedom of choice. Research shaws that enabling children to decide how to spend juse 30 minutes a day makes them happier and more attentive. re