44 - Sunday, October 16, 1988 - Nosth Shore News ewar DEAR MISS MANNERS — I am, almost alone in my neighborbood, a mother-at-home. Every once in a while, one of my children’s friends’ parents needs a favor — baby-sitting, rides for their children, or some other small help that I can readily deliver. 1 do not consider this a big deal, and no one kgs ever tried to take advantage of me in a steady or obnoxious way. On the contrary —~ and bere is my problem. At times, some of the people have offered me money for ser- vices rendered, and I just do not feel comfortable with this. It is true that my decision not to work has caused some financial hardship at home, but my husband does miss _ manners Judith Martin support us all. We are not poor. 1 understand these good pzople are mocveted by the real concerns of not ever being able to reciprocate, bat I still don’t want thelr money. I have felt more com- fortabie when people have given me something from their kitchens or offered a small present to my chlid, whose friend I helped. Even. so, nothing is necessary. I have ttood there saying, “No, thank you -— it was a pleasure io have Angela in the house’’ till I was blue im the face, but — have bad money slipped into my pocket when my defenseless arms were fuli of hungry children, | have had snoney teft in the hands of children who were taught not to contradict grown-ups, and ¥ huve felt bad when saying shortly: ‘Please! I would feel insulted.” Sheuld 1 just gracefully accept the stuff and take everyone off the hook? Or do you have a suggestion for a remark that would solve the problem? GENTLE READER — The most tactful remark of all is ‘‘I’m sure you would help me out if I needed it,’ occassionally followed by a practical suggestion. eet LIFESTYLES DEAR MISS MANNERS — What I enjoy most about Mass every Sunday is the sermon, which usually lasts 10 to 15 minutes. I find it distracting when there are couples in front of me, and the man starts puiting his arm around the woman and rubbing her arm and shoulder up and down, not really paying attention to the ser- Nice people can’t stand always — being on the receiving end, which is why these parents are desper- ately trying to get you to accept money. However, unless you want to set yourself up professionally as the. neighborhood manager who takes in the children and the ’ packages for a stipend — not a bad idea, by the way — you are quite right not to accept cash, in Miss Manners’ opinion. Intended or not, tipping friends for being obliging is insulting. But except for the few who have given the ap- propriate tokens of thanks you describe, these people seem unable to imagine how they could help you. So tell them. After saying firm- ly, “I couldn’t dream of taking your money,’? you could add, “But there’s a movie Greg and I are dying to see — if there’s a night in the next week or two that you're going to be home anyway, could we leave Daniel with you?” or “This makes it easier for me to ask you if you would mind dropp- ing off my library books on your. way to work.” Even if they cannot comply with the specific requests, this should establish the idea that the proper reward for kindness should be kindness. N TUESDAY * FURNITURE Sofas, Sofa Beds, Loveseats, Chairs of all kinds, Ottomans, Recliners, Chaise Lounges, Dining and Bedroom and Occasional Tables, Wall Units, Curio and Entertainment Cabinets, Maitress and Box Springs — All sizes, Lamps, Pictures, Table Covers, Plant Stands, -Mirrors, Crystal Chandeliers, and all other Accessories, Drapes and area Carpets. SERVICES Recovering: All upholstered furniture, materials and labor. Repair any broken furniture. Refinishing: Ai hardwood furniture. French polishing all tops of furniture. interior Design: 2 hours. No Charge. DRAPES Alterations, Repairing and Hanging present Drapes, New Drapes - including all fabor. Reframe or frame any pictures to suit decor. “Does not apply to previous purchases or items presently sale priced. A tt , THOMASVILLE GALLERY 435-5566 4240 Manor Steet, Burnaby {% block west of Villa Sheraton Hote) HOURS: Monday to Saturday - 9 to 5 pm. Sunday - Noon to 5 p.m. a t be mon. I get the feeling I'm sitting in a movie theatre instead of in church. Do you think this is proper behavior? Maybe it is me. I was raised to be stoic in church, but I believe the Lord deserves all our attention when we are in His house, and we should show our af- fection to Him and not to our Kain mess spouse or loved one. There’s pien- ty of time for that elsewhere. GENTLE READER — No, no one should cuddle in church. You can- not control whether other members of the congregation pay attention to the sermon, but you do have a right to complain if people are paying distracting attention to one another. MOVING SALE The Queensdale Gallery will be moving to a new location near the Lonsdale Quay. We must vacate our present premises by October 31. From now to the end of October we'll be having a gigantic clearance of ART — JEWELLERY, POTTERY & GLASS Everything reduced drastically 3010 Lonsdale Avenue, North Vancouver 986-3222 SUPPLEMENTAL = HOME HEATING! ...for approximately 5¢ per hour! A Revolutionary Hi-Tech Heater! » Computer controlled thermostat + Designed for safety and efficiency | + Half the size of a kitchen toaster + Designed for continuous unattended use 3 + Guaranteed for five years + Maximum 5,200 BTU output Great for the boat or R.V. too! By So versatile: Plugs into a 1.5 kw power plant. Please don't confuse the Microfurnace E& with fa microwaves. Micro represents tiny, and fur- @ nace represents the amount of heat produced! WM tend to the heater L ‘rode control from Al and back again. 6" CUBE Over 100,000 satisfied customers! So efficient: At room temperature conditions the current draw is 10A at 120V. The electric cords and sides of the units remain cool at all times, even while operating at maximum output, So safe: Facial tissue & matches placed against it will not ig- nite. Microfurnace has an electric sensor that lets you adjust the heat SPECIALS LIMITED TIME OFFER GET A FREE 12V Wet & Dry SUPERVAC ($49.95) value with the purchase of the new thermostatically con- trolled Micro Furnace EE. GRAND OPENING s output thermostatically. So dura- ble: The life of the micro semi-con- - ductor elements is unlimited. Made of barium titanate as the heating component, they never exceed 200C (380F). A small industrial fan desig- ned for 100,000 hours use distributes heat at 200. Ss, PACIFIC MICROHEAT LTD | NOW 3 LOCATIONS TO SERVE YOU: Coquitlam HEAD OFFICE 105A-508 Clark Rd. 939-6600 orth Van eect Delbrook Ave. 988-6600 Vancouver brook Plaza 4906 Victoria Dr, 324-6600 ARAN AEN AEE IF EET EIT IED ET AN TET