28 - Sunday, February 17, 1985 - North Shore News Bodily noises affront brother EAR MISS MANNERS — As a religious brother, I live in a community with 12 brothers in simple, yet tasteful, quarters. One of my dear brothers has provided for me a perplexing problem by virtue of his lack of manners. How one could grow to adulthood devoid of any sense of etiquette escapes me completely. Here are some examples of his behavior: He consumed a lovely dinner salad (with dressing) without the assistance of utensils, 2. If my dear brother spies an enticing morsel on his neighbor's plate, he might at any moment covet said morsel, 3. He has the ability to biow bubbles of saliva simultaneously from each corner of his mouth. . 4. He uses his dinner plate as a dessert plate. 5. He makes an array of bodily noises that boggle the mind and sicken the stomach. 6. And, at the close of the meal, one can be assured to hear water noisily swishing around in his mouth. Miss Manners, I tell you truthfully that this situation exists, The brother in ques- tion is not a mental incompe- tent; indeed, he is extremely intelligent, according to the intelligence quotient. He views etiquette as superfluous, as difficult as this is to believe possible. Outside of an untimely death, do you see any possi- ble solution to this grave dilemma? GENTLE READER — Miss Manners is aware that there are those who might try to tell you to ignore etiquette violations in consideration of higher spiritual values. They would be wrong. Not even Miss Manners believes that manners take precedence over morals. But ‘by Judith Martin Pee] she understands that such eti- quette assaults as you describe batter the soul until it is in no fit condition to con- template anything more uplifting. As evidence, she need merely cite the example of — you, who have dedicated - your life to God, already con- templating with some relish the possibility of your brother's meeting an untime- ly death. ; Miss Manners not only finds it hardly possible that anyone should consider eti- quette superMuous, but she believes it totally impossible that this notion could be seriously entertained in a religious community — if the meaning of etiquette is pro- perly explained. The chances are that your fellow novitiate has the com- mon, mistaken notion that manners are an affectation of the rich, and therefore inap- propriate to his calling. But he undoubtedly subscribes to the church’s use of ritual and symbolic behavior. Miss Manners dares say he follows, and even values, those gestures and patterns associated with worship. Those, too, are manners. Any set way of doing things, peculiar to a society or to a cohesive group within it, are manners. And to violate the accepted behavior standards of one's community is to show con- tempt of that community and callous inconsideration of the feelings of its members. Miss Manners suggests you explain to your superior that you find the affronts to com- monly accepted ways of eating 10 be offensive and distracting to your peace of mind, and a poor precedent ‘Medical ‘Bldg. Suite: B85... : 2184 W:: Broadway. & " Vanicouver,- B.C. ; veK 2Et” _ 732: ‘3388 "CLEANED FOR fa THE PRICE OF The first area rug is cleaned at regular price. The second rug will be cleaned at no additional charge. Dan's exclusive process is guaranteed to clean and rejuvenate all shapes and sizes of cleanable rugs. Your rugs wil! look like new. in the discipline and obe- dience of your community. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I’ve just gotten home from an overnight train trip. At 6 a.m., a woman I'd never seci: before sat in the scat beside me and talked to me non-stop for almost an hour. | hadn't slept much that night, but had finally fallen asleep before she arrived. Everyone else in the car, I’m sure, was either sleeping or trying to. How should one cope with this? GENTLE READER — Ly- ing down. With the eyes closed. If this posture does not convey to your seatmate what your preferred choice of ac- tivity is, then you may tell her: **Excuse me, I was sleep- ing, and I would like to con- tinue tiny nap.” | YEAR ; CLEARANCES | upte | 10% crs HOLIDAY DRESSES SWEATERS BLOUSES JUMP SUITS PANTS JEWELLERY ACCESSORIES 988-3738 | 7 6260 W. ESPLANADE ENeCoOsReE ADVENTURE HOLIDAYS Miss Manners is happy to tell you that you have no social obligations to strangers. You cannot be rude, or course, but you are allowed to protect yourself from their ruderess, Fegling incorrect? Address your etiquette (in black or blue-black ink on white writing paper) to Miss Man- ners, in care of this newspaper, The quill shor- tage prevents Miss Manners from answering questions other than’ through this column. Appliance problem? call 986-0080 ALL MAKES PRO. APPLIANCE REPAIRS LTD. Day or evening service 1 0% Be ras SENIORS DISCOUNT ee | The Troller Pub presents In Horseshoe “Play Name That Tune” (introductory leve - $75.00. all mateccal RHODES GREECE 14 Nights from Vancouver *15 Package Includes e Return airfare from Vancouver e 14 Nights accommodation in 4 star hotel * 14 Breakfasts and 14 Dinners © All transfers e Service of resort representative And remember—fine Oriental rugs are individually hand-cleaned. $18 Pick-up Charge Limited time oniy Dan's bucks not valid 151549.00 Per Person, Double. 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