THOSE ROGUES in Ottawa having pro-rogued parliament,
it’s time to issue the Mary Collins Golden Turkey Awards
again. Which, you may recall, are given in honor of the
worst speech ever made in those hollow halls. So here goes:

To Mayor Don Lanskail and the
West Van City Council; for trying
to impose those terrible twin
towers on the local peasantry.
(This award stands even though
the miscreants decided to take a
second look when the enraged
peasantry appeared, waving pikes.)

To Mayor Jack Loucks and
most of North Van City Council;
not for ‘‘condemning’’ your man
Doug, but for wasting taxpayers’
time and money discussing an issue
on which they are poorly inform-
ed, namely freedom of speech.
Ald. Bill Bell gets an extra award
for being a book-burner.

To B.C. Transit; for planning to
move the North Van bus depot to
Burnaby.

To Shaw Cable; for scratching
most of the Great Immigiation
Debate; and for making people
pay for programs they don’t want.

To West Vancouver council
again; for organizing a ‘‘revitaliza-
tion’’ program that turned out to
be a devitalization program.

To Treasury Board president Pat
Carney; for telling Vancouverites
they should aim for the big time
and make their city into a Hong
Kong, Tokyo or Singapore, com-
plete with Chinese street signs, etc.

To Bill Vander Zalm; for selling
the Expo site to Li Ka Shing and
thus creating Hong Harbor.

To Brian Baloney and Zalm
alike; for appointing a Chinese
immigrant as Lt. Gov., and thus
signalling to the Asiatic world that

we are ready to be taken over.

To the Vancouver Province, for
the Vander Zalm numerology
nonsense.

To Immigration Minister Bar-
bara McDougall; for delaying the

A Golden
Turkey Award to)
Bill Vander Zalm,
for selling the Expo
site to Li Ka Shing
and thus creating
Hong Harbor.”’

restrictions on phoney refugees yet
another six months, thus preving
tha: she is a worthy successor to all
those other wimps who occupied
that ministry over the past 20
years.

To Jake Epp, minister for health
and welfare; for trying to out-NDP
the NDP by allowing the state to
look after people’s kids for them;
and for banning cigarette advertis-
ing. A real Calvinist, this guy.

To Dr. Helen Caldicot, the
Australian anti-nuclear loony who

stated: ‘‘] see Mikhail Gorbachev
as a second Jesus Christ."

To the University of Victoria;
for planning to give an honorary
doctorate to Winnie Mandela, the
obnoxious wife of communist ter-
rorist Nelson Mandela.

To the media of the Western
world, who, in their limitless stu-
pidity, have made the aforemen-
tioned Nelson Mandela a hero se-
cond only to Charlemagne, King
of the Franks.

To John Turner; who as an Op-
position Leader spends most of his
time wasting our time; a desperate
case, this.

To the B.C. Government
Employees; for trying to make out
that only government employces
can keep the roads going.

To Svend Robinson; for saying
that happiness is holding hands in
Stanley Park with another man.

To the United Church of
Canada; for approving the ap-
pointment of pansies to par-
sonages.

To those Vietnamese im-
migrants; who, to show how grate-
ful they are for being accepted in
this country as refugees, run up
and down this coast grabbing every
crab and clam they can get their
greedy milts on.

To the Irish Republican so-call-
ed Army; for being the murderous
thugs they are.

And last, dut by no means least,
to Brian Baloney, Chuck Cook
and the great Mary herself; for
putting Quebec first by voting in
favor of Bill C-72, the language
legislation that sends English
Canada to the back of the federal
job bus@

Police seek B.B. gun culprit

NORTH VANCOUVER RCMP are seeking public
assistance in solving a case in which a North Van-
couver golfer was shot in the head by a B.B. gun Aug.
29

of his head.

The man was setting up for his second shot on the

sixth hole of the Seymour Golf & Country Club
course when he was knocked over by the gunshot.
The shot drew blood and the victim required medical

Sale starts Thurs., Sept. 1, 9:30 AM

At SKYLINE SPORTS we start every ski seacon with
a September ski sale. This year we once again have
great savings on ski equipment and ski clothing for
you to choose from. Examples are:

Lange TSI (87-88)...
Salomon 747 ..
Ski Jackets (Assorted)... .
Shop early to get the best selection and remem-
ber...winter is just around the corner.

SALE 279%
sare 119%
SALE 99%

. 395.00
.... 195.00
200.00

attention to close a three-inch gash across the crown

Police patrols of the area were unsuccessful in
locating the culprit.

Police are cautioning parents to be especially alert
when giving children access to seemingly harmless toys
such as B.B. and pellet guns.

9 - Wednesday, September 7, 1988 - North Shore News

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