- QUESTION:
that
- time-consuming. I enjoy ita

great deal, but my wife is not

_ too pleased about it. There is
_a rather large financial outlay
connected with making. my

‘

best of it’’,

_ [have a hobby
has become _ pretty

hobby really worth-while to
me and my wife doesn’t like .
that either. She Claims [with
typical female logic] that I

am more interested in my

hobby than I. am in her and
that is ridiculous. |

t love my wife and am

-. quite willing to give her some
of my time and .as far as

money goes, she is not
wanting for anything. I was
really shook the other day
when she lost her temper and

‘said some things I’m sure

she cannct mean. She said,
‘If you intend to play your
little game, then don’t expect
me to sit around and be your
adoring speciater. If you
don’t wake up to what's

happening. to our marriage,
Vm going to find a game of

my own to play and it will be
- agame that deesn’t need you

cate 3

—

Freelance Counsellor Hayden
Stewart does private counsel-
ling as well as a great deal of
group work. He can be
contacted at 261-6242 for
information and appoinimenis. -
Letters are always welcome.
Mail them to HAYDEN
STEWART, . c/o the North
Shore News, #202-1139 Lons-
dale, North Van. |

QUESTION: He!p us out will
you. My husband and I can-
not afford to go away for a
holiday this summer and we
have planned to use his
vacation time (a whole month
this year) just doing the
kinds of things we like round
about our home. We've
agreed to not ‘Just make the
but to have a

Content - not
satisfied

QUESTION: You whip off
your answers pretty confi-

dently. Are you satisfied with

your OWN life?

STEWART: I'm content.
Not satisfied. Life offers so
much more’ each month.
There’s so much more to ex-
perience. So, | hope I'll never
be satisfied, but always open
for new gifts. Meanwhile,
it's good like it is.

‘saying—as

‘Don't sacrifice holi

as a partner or a spectator.’’

That’s what came acress to
me anyway. Then | she.
wouldn’t talk anymore. I
can’t be sure what she
meant. One minute I feel like
she. was saying she was
going to find a hobby - too,
and I’ve wanted her to do
that and have encouraged
-her to.. The next minute I
wonder if she is saying she is
not satisfied with our mar-
riage. I just can’t understand
it. I think it is a good: healthy
thing for a person to have a
hobby. Why can’t she get as

interested in something as I
am?

STEWART: You surely
must be pulling my leg! You.
can't® understand what she’
means? She means, wake up
to the fact that I am real and
alive and loving you. Do
something about it, OR you'll:
come back from your play-

thing one day and: find me
long gone. That's what she’s
.if- you need

someone to tell you. It’

QUESTION: I’m __ slewly

beginning to see that all
through my life -l've been
settling for.second best. I.
want something, see? Then |
get preoccupied with the
things or people that stand
between me and the thing I
want. Then my next move is

Jcoking around to see what.

there is for me as a second
choice, seeing it’s going to
‘be hard to reach my first.
choice. Just recently Pve_
Started to see that I look for

second choices too soon.
‘How can I change . that.
‘pattern?

STEWART: You've been
pretty cagey in your ques-
tion. I have the feeling that
there is. something (or
someone) in particular that
you are wanting currently

‘and, again, you are painfully

aware of blocks to your
succeeding. If you don’t feel
guilty or ashamed of wanting
what you want, why not, this
time, take a deep breath and

really enjoyable August
simply and _ inexpensively.
We are both really excited
‘about-it. Now here coines a
letter from an old friend in
the East saying that’ she
would like to come visit us
during the first two weeks of
August! We like her alright
and I'm sure we'd. have a
good time with her, but if we
invite her, there goes our

Hayden no
bachelor

QUESTION: Are
Bachelor?

STEWART: My wife says,
“Tell ‘em ‘yes’ and stand
back for the rush*’'. My wife
has the sneakiest ways of
paying me compliments! But
I wonder why she feels safe
cnough to propose such an
intriguing experiment? Oh
well.

you a

. large between the two of you.

-deciding whether you want

toward your goal. You may

_decisioh and keep on keeping © ;

page 15, May 11, 1977 - North Shore News

doesn't matter whether your
hobby is pubbing, 'stamp-
collecting, golf or spring~
bud- -watching, it is looming.

Sure hobbies are.
and healthy’’ but having a
loving wife is good and
healthy too. Your problem
has been simplified for you
by.. your wife saying, in.
effect, ‘‘Hey hubby—you’d
better not. waste too much
time in choosing which

‘*good and healthy’’ - you
want. If:-yom have trouble

‘good

me or your electric train,
then. I’ Wl decide for you—but
-quick.’’- Is that clear? You
ask, “Why. can't she get as
interested in something as I
am?’ She is. She’s interes-
ted in YOU: And that makes |
two of you—at least for a
while. How sweet of you to:
say. ‘‘I*m quite willing to
give her some of my time’’!
That should hold her for a
month or so.

commit yourself to: "giving! it
your utmost effort. in a spirii
of *‘damn the torpedoes—
full steam ahead’’ move

learn, in the process, that
you have made a poor choice
‘at which time you can make
another. Or you may bleed a : oe . a

little on your way and still Ey 99 Wh”? alll 4 (i Retprs. )
feel ‘tright’’ . about your AYA Xx y: 2 | w ~ tile 7 illustrated

on. You may fail. But .you'll
fail with honours. Or—glory
‘be—you may arrive with joy.
I vote for your giving it your
best go. -

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Simply drop in to our showroom, select the tile of your choice

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Lana

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Sahat

I guess I’m a dyed-in-the-
wool romantic. I’ve got it
my head that. is some
PERSON you want. I don’t
know if you are a man or a
woman who has written the
letter, but I urge you to use
all your resources in realizing
your goal. However, be fair
to yourself! Don't do one
thing that goes against your
integrity or self-respect. fF
Within that healthy set of §&
limitations, GO! : ;

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| a ROSEN | Mi Sat, 9-6 :
TILE & CERAMICS © rridayano |
149 West 3rd.St.,N Van
Fashion Centre

Feel free to have your way,

If you feel a wee bit guilty
about it, pause to think how
guilty you'd feel if you let her
(or anyone else) enter in to
your lives. and take over
control by pressuring vou &
into doing something you &
don't want to do. You don’t) §
need that at all. Have a great
summer!

980-2218 |

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