page 4 - January 21, 1976 - North Shore News

QUESTION: [I’m 18 years old
and have kad ai steady
boyfriend for a couple of
years. like kim all right, but
he wants me all to himself
and I want to have other
friends. Aiso, he seems to be
mostly interested in getting
me into the back seat cf his
car and I am not wanting to
get into that sort of thing
with him. I don’t want him as
# steady boy-friend anymore,
but Vd like to keep him as a

fricnd. How cari i iet him
know? . .

‘ STEWART: Why not tell him"
you are the one who wrote
that question and that you
want him ‘to understand that

intend to be free to have lots
of other friends too. Don’t
ask him, tell him you, have

involved with him, but that if
he wants to, you would like to -
keep friendly with him.

The main thing is to be
ands or buts. : a

You may -lose him as a
friend, and. you may. feel
badly about it, but if you
don’t want to get “‘more
_involved’” with a boy that
wants to, you'll just have to
be clear-cut. Good iuck!

Act in haste:
needs discipline

QUESTION: I know that I am
too impulsive by a country
mile. I do things on the spur
of the moment and later on,
wish I hadn’t. I hate feeling
responsible for something
and when I am responsible, I
quite often run out on the
responsibility. How .can I”
become more dependable? I’
guess I need to be more
systematic, but how do Ido
that?

STEWART: The’ . person
.whose impulsiveness is a.
problem to him is quite often
-one ‘who is. also. overly
nervous .or depressed or
critical (or all three) so you
should pay attention to those.
traits too. About your impul-
siveness:
_ideas to consider;

1. Avoid physical fatigue.
Experiment with ways to
.improve your sleep habits.
2. Lead a hygienic life. -
Consult your doctor about
symptoms of allergy, vitamin
deficiency or glandular im- -
balance. Alcohol is -particu-
larly troublesome to impul-
sive people. |
3, Deliberately assume some '
responsibilities (small ' ones,
at first) and prove to yourself
your dependability. Lt
4. Work. on ‘the habit of
thinking things through.
Avoid. snap judgments and
spur-of-the-moment — deci-
sions. Go slowly.
5. Plan your day's work and
fun & stick to it.

you like him, but that you _f

already decided not to get too —

definite. Be decisive. No ifs, |

Here are a few .
iSTEWART: Golly, 1 don’t * ™

Hayder

Freelance Counselior «
Stewart does private counselling
as well as a‘great deal of group
work. He. can ‘be contacted at*
261-6242 for information and
appointments. _ ‘Letters. are
always weicome. Mail them to
HAYDEN STEWART, c/o the
North Shore News, 4202-1139
Lonsdale, North Van. .

sos

6. Select reasonable goals.
Don’t try too much.

7. Generally, people who are
impulsive will find .it to their
advantage.to ‘‘play it safe’’
not try to be unconventional
until they. get used - to
avoiding the difficulties
which they have not forseen.
8. Impulsiveness is a beauti-
ful luxury that some people
_ just cannot afford. If you are
“one of them,.be kind to
yourself and develop some
disciplines. You'll be glad
you did.

Hop on the wagon

QUESTION: I'm afraid’. “my.
drinking will become too big.
a problem for me. Do you -
think. I should ameit alto-
gether? -

know. But if you are
wondering about it and:
afraid of it, you'd better quit.

c Right? a

Better way"
than drugs

QUESTION: You approve of

drugs, so they tell me. is that
truc? -

- STEWART: No, it is not trie.

In fact I can hardly think of '
anything of which I ‘‘ap-'
prove’’, or for that. matter,
disapprove. You see, life has
not appointed me. ‘to =the
position of Approver and is
not likely to do so because of

my flack of qualifications. ‘I
am just a human being, and
as such, approving and -
disapproving are not -my
things.

Has your ‘pointsetta
been ‘fixed’? -

_ I realize that many human ‘QUESTION: Thave very litde
beings feel qualified to trouble keeping my Christ-
assume the position but [ mas poinsetta plants alive.

“motion and - all
‘analyses from: experts. I hate

‘listening to.a lot of it. Are

‘from

| Hooray for USA’:

QUESTION: Why don’t wel
Canadians have more patrio: an

Some things I allow to bother -
or. make me sad or.
angry, but I seem to escape

mc, .

the. business of taking the
- position of disapprover or

approver.

+

Indescribably | terrible
things have happened to
some drug-users I know and
so I can say that, indirectly, .
drugs have~made me very
‘sad and sometimes furious. I
wish these people had not
suffered so, and. hope they

never. will again..

| support. them and’ love
them and hope they; make
choices that prove « more
beneficial for them starting
_TODAY.

Yr m more than peeved |
about what some drugs. do to »
some ‘people and I’m more
than pleased about © the
beautiful ‘highs’ some
people attain without drugs.
Their ‘highs’

better way than drugs. Do
you ‘‘approve’’?

Bye bye -
bicentennial

QUESTION: Boy am I sick
and tired of all the sentimen-

“tal and patriotic drivel that is,

coming to us by TV about the
bicentennial in: the good old
U.S. of A.

Are you aware that we've}

been getting it for nearly two
years and that this is just the

.. getting re-runs and you jus

know that when’ the year i:
-Gver we'll get replays in slov
sorts off

itt

; : SPEWART®E For a fellow who ff a

hates it, you seem to be B

you trying to punish yourself f
or is Someone holding ‘a: gun f
to your head to: keep =you }
reaching: the’ dial? §
When he ain't lookingy “yy
not pull the plug?“

tic pride like’ our- ‘neighbours i

:to the south, of us? They’ré 7 q :
really going all out on their

bicentennial celebrattons.. .

STEWART:. For. dissenting |

opinion, » read the |

‘fetter §
above. 7 Lon

(and mime) -
assure me.that there’s a

“have had. them: bloom the
following year. De yeu know
. what to do with them?

STEWART: Yes, but I don’t ‘|
- want. the naturalists all mad.
"at me... .

What. you. do. is trim them
"way back, then on alternat-'
ing second Tuesdays of each
month you wet them, (or dry"
them out — I always get,{-
mixed up on that).. In the! |
meantime you keep them in
steady light, day and night
for three months — or is it
complete ‘ ‘darkness ‘for two
months?

> At any rate,. watch your
“plants, lovingly on- alternate
Wednesdays. and scream at
them each holiday or -birth-
_ day « or anniversary. .

If you ‘follow these simple
directions, you will find that
you have'no red: blooms (or
no pink or. white blooms) in
the same profusion you .

didn’t have them last year.

Then next. year. you. try’ ‘to.
talk your florist into: selling
you a plant that has not been |
fixed so it will never bloom
again. .

1 |
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