. Thursday, Nov. 28 and 30, at . 3:30 p.m. Country featured is “No » registration IN just about every household with a child over the age of 10, peer pressure is being bdiamed for a lot of things. Ir’s peer pressure that causes otherwise wondertul children to smoke, take drugs, become sexually active, drop out of school and just gener- ally become a menace to saci- ety. In the matter of who has a problem, peers are the first ones on the list of most par- ents. Personally, { think it’s a bit of a cop-out. Let’s start with the simple realization that there is no mystical peer who js such a bad influence on everyone. Kids grow up and start to THURSDAYS Toddictales: Short stories for ages 2-3 on Thursdays at 10:30 am. until Nov. 30 at - Lynn Valley Library. Storytales: Longer stories for ages 4-6 on Thursdays at 10:30 am. until Nov. 30 at ‘Parkgate Library. Storytales: Tales for ages 4-6 on Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. until Nov. 30 at Capilano Library. Be -Sleepytales | for. the whole family on Thursdays at 7 p.m. ‘To Nov. 30 -at Library. Babytime: For children aged 6-24 months at the West Van Memorial Library. Tuesdays ‘or. Thursdays, at 10:30 am. ‘Song, action rhymes, finger- plays: and picture books. Children must be accompa- nied by a parent or caregiver. -.: Register at the youth services "information desk or phone 925- 7408. ‘Drop-in’ Babes Storytime: For newborns to 24 months at the North Van City Library. . Tuesdays and ‘Thursdays at “10:30 a.m. Info: 980-4424. International Fairytales and _ Craft: For 6-9-year-olds at the: North Vancouver City Library. Tuesday — and Peru. Pre- -register; 980-4424. FRIDAYS Babytales: Fun for all new- borns to 24 months: on : Fridays | at 10:30 -a.m.. until Dec. 1 at Lynn Valley Library. SATURDAYS Family -Storytime: Enjoy a chalf’ hour-of stories, puppets _and ‘song fur the whole family. - required. Parkgate Parental Guidance make their owa decisions. They are surrounded by vari- ous adults and peers who have all kinds of differing value sys- tems and ideas, most of which are quite good. Brand nic naive if vou wish, but my experience continues to con- vince me that bad influences are the exception, not the rule. Hence, most peer pres- sure is good and we should be careful not to always view the Saturday, Nov. 25 ar 10:30 p.m., West Van Memorial Library. Scottish Country Dancing for Children: Saturday morn- ings at Mickey MacDougall gym. beginners, 9-10 a.m.; intermediate, 10-11]. a.m; advanced 12 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Info: 922-4406. Drop-in French for Fun Storytime: For all ages at the North Vancouver = City Library. Saturdays, Nov. 25 at 9:30 or 11 am. Info: 980- 4424. Drop-in French Movie: For tern) from the negative side. In fact, let me take ita step further. | think, as par- ent, we should be encourag, ing peer pressure. We should be getting our kids involved in activities where disciplined and hard-working peers exist. Have them take the toughest classes an school; have them play on competitive teams that demand performance; have them involved in youth activities that give theny responsibilities and leadership opportunities; have them take martial arts or music lessons. Such activities, and the peers they will meet in these activi- Ges, will have a big influence on them, and most likely it will be 2 good one. How many kids with real goals and dreams get hooked on drugs? all ages oat othe North Vancouver City — Library. Saturday, Nov. 25 Les 7 Baules de Cristal. Info: 980-4424. Saturday Storytime and Crafts: For 4-8 years, Nov. 25, at 10 a.m., at the North Van Citv Library. Pre-register: 980-4424. Laudate Singers presents Choir and Harp for. Kids! (preschoolers to elemen- tary) ar St. Andrew's United Church, 10th and St. Georges, N.V. on Saturday, Dee. 16, 3-4 p.m. Guest harpist Heidi Drutzen plays sing-alongs from Jingle Once our children make some friends who are going te be positive influences. then we need to open our hearts and houses to them and bring them into our families. Kids don’t need to go away from heme to hang out, although there are times when they truly do want to get out from under our umbrella, Much of the time, they just want 4 safe and secure place to goof around with their friends, talking about their own day- to-day trials and tribulations and listening to music or surf” ing the Net. If there's a space in the house where they can do that, then encourage it, and stay away, at least until you hear crashing, sounds! Just the same, there may be times when you see nega- Bells to Silene Night to medieval chant. Tickets are $5 for children 15 and under and $10 for adults. Call Ticketmaster ac 280- 3311 of for more info call 831-3158. How To Get Your Kids Into Show Business: Saturday, Nov, 25, 1:30 p.m., Deep Cove Theatre. Free seminar for parents of children ages 7- 16. Presented by The Matrix Performing Arts Society. Pre- register: 929-8069. — Fax your event information to 985-2104 or e-mail . ive Deer Pressure tive indluences changing your child's view of the world. Keep in mind that the influ- ence of negative peers is offen to fill the void of no positive influences. Ifyou have been too busy, or if close friends have been fost for one reason or another, there may be a social void which cries to be filled. Negative people are constantly ¢ cruising to take advantage of the vulnerable and are only too happy to fill that social void with accep- tance. When vou see those nega- uve influences happening you have nso options. You can get angry, creating greater alien- ation and a bigger void that needs to be filled, or you can get busy, filling the void with your own influence. The result of the first strategy is usually pretty predictable. There's confrontation, lack of compromise, lack of commu- nication and eventually a breakdown in the relation- ship. At this point peers truly do take over, and their influ- ence strengthens because they are the only accepting option yeur child may have. Cults and gangs are excellent exam- ples of this phenomenon. The second option, greater involvement as a parent, sounds easier than it really is, particularly if there is some ro~ | only 8 41) West bt Stie Aché Brasil 2309 Lonsdale Avenue, North Vancouver: - BH eewenumiDcacrec CENTRE Centennial Theatre Box Office’ strain going on, You have to be patient and create greater opportunities for your rela- Uonship to grow, Show some interest in what they are doing, at school and out of school. Get some time together just to allow some discussion to take place. Go to any activities they are involved in. Prove to them that they are a priority in your time schedule and you will fill much of the void that requires social attention. Ic would be foolish to think that regardless of what vou do as a parent, there won't be some influence on your child by peers. We are all, to some extent, influenced by what our friends do. Still, the need to succumb to such influences is greatly reduced when they don’t need acceptance from their peers to feel worthwhile as individuals. - ‘There are, naturally, excep- tions fo every rule, but I believe most kids with loving and involved parents are bet- ter able to resist the tempta- tions of negative influences. We are better to evaluate and boost our own positive influ- ence thar to bemvan the neg- ative influence of that mysteri- ous peer group. — Graham Hookey is the author of Parenting Is A Team Sport . 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