- 34 - Sunday, September 9, 1990 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES New relationship with ex can prove to be confusing DEAR MISS MANNERS — My husband and I divorced two months ago, after two years of separation. We have one daughter under 10. We continue to go out together with our daughter (to shows, movies, dinner) and occa- sionally go out together without her fo dinner, movies or plays. As a matter of fact, we get along much better now than we did when we were married. Judith Martin MISS MANNERS My ex-husband is up for a big promotion to the presidency of a large corporation. My friends have suggested that 1 may be jeopardizing his chances of getting this wonderful new position, because of our confusing relation- ship. | would never want to do anything to hinder his career. A second problem is that if he does get the position, a large reception will be given in his honor. Ig it inappropriate for me to attend? Should I just send our daughter? If you say it is OK, should I be in the receiving line if asked? If so, how should I be in- troduced? GENTLE READER — Miss Manners congratulates you on the civility of this relationship and can hardly imagine how your former husband’s employers could hold it against him. She would not like to do business with a corporation that required its divorced execu- tives to maintain hostilities with former spouses. She would think it more inhib- ° iting to your husband’s social life than his professional life to have around an apparent wife who isn’t a wife. Appearing in public in the role of a wife is, however, confusing. It is not customary to expose strangers in a receiving line to such an interesting situation without giving them the time or information to grasp it. Miss Manners has no objection to your attending the reception, but if there is a question of the family’s being represented in the receiving line, she suggests that your daugh- ter be that representative. DEAR MISS MANNERS — I had a somewhat frustrating prob- fem with my bank, which was made worse by the terrible sound quality of their telephone system. Finally I wrote a letter to my loan officer, complaining about the problem and rather pointedly mentioning the poor phone system. Fraser Trucking and Tractor a division of EVERALL aaglfzr0 SERVICES LTD. BIG OR SMALL, WE 00 IT ALL! Excavation, demolition, clearing. Residential and commercial. Excellent rates. 576-1299 682-8766 327-5611 (pager #1158) I was totally unprepared for his reaction. He immediately called me and Saunched into a lengthy and angry tirade on the ‘‘obnox- fousness’’ of my remarks. ‘You see,’ he said in a condescending fashion, ‘‘many people in business these days use speaker phones, which may give an echo sound to the cailer. If you think you're be- ing spoken to on a speaker phone, it is simple enough to request that the person you're calling take the call on the receiver.”* GENTLE READER — Never mind the quality of the telephone system. It is the quality of bank manners that needs fixing. Assuming that your letters of complaint are decently framed — a rude one would not excuse return rudeness, but Miss Manners confesses to being worried about yours — it is time to write another one. The banker's supervisor ought to be alerted to the fact that one of the employees is bawling out the customers. ALCOHOL « CO-DEPENDENCY PROBLEM? THE ane . ELAN toe a TRE, INTENSIVE OUTPATIENT PROGRAM + Professional Substance Abuse Counsellors and Therapists * Strictly confidential Phone N. Shore 980-849 Vancouver 731-7737 Surrey 589-7080 Buy one of our beautiful kitchens this month and not one penny will go down the drain. Your complimentary Acriform designer sink comes in four wavy colours and a vurwty ol styles. 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