Gary

BaNNERMAN

OFFICERS OF General rank the world over are sworn to
uphold the constitutions of their respective countries. These
documents usually talk of promoting the ‘general’ good, the
‘general’ welfare, the ‘general’ prosperity, and other things
generally beneficial to Generals.

This was hammered home
recently during a journalistic anal-
ysis of a hotel driveway. This
venue of access and egress (Ottawa
talk) was in the nation’s capital,
where it seemed, a Genera! from
NATO was visiting.

The visitor accounted for two
RCMF Crown Victorias parked
right at the hotel doorway. Unless
the top-ranked defender of
freedom needed different vehicles
for morning and afternoon, one
was left to presume that lesser no-
bility were travelling with him,
helping to keep Ottawa safe.

The driveway was littered with
Canadian military, each of whom
had a shiny black Chevrolet hogg-
ing the kind of parking spot that
usually makes hotel doormen rich.
One corporal per car.

Sharing the parking supervision
that day with the doorman was a
Canadian captain. Until this junc-
ture in my youthful experience, I
was unaware that Royal Military
College taught a course on park-
ing. Had “Hotel Parking 100""
been available when I went to Le
College Militaire Royale de Saint-
Jean, I would have been the first
to sign up.

My yet to be recognized
distinguished service did teach me
a few things. For example, one
learns that every significant mili-
tary base has a guest suite to ac-

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commodate visiting VIPs.

They also have many available
rooms which in the business world
would be called boardrooms.

Why, then, was our visiting
dignitary siaying in the most ex-
pensive Ottawa hotel? Why did
our bigwigs have to meet him at
the hotel? Why did everyone have
to travel in his own staff car?
What did this cost? What was
achieved?

How much did this indefensiole
foolishness cost the hotel doorman
in lost tips?

Our defence budget is too small,
general? Right-O.

eee

Ottawa always brings back
memorics.

When I first marched up the
steps of the Centre Block almost
25 years ago, there wasn’t a soul in
the main foyer. After some
scouting and even an embarrassed
echoed shout for help amid the
granite splendor, an elderly —- very
English — commissionaire came to
the rescue with directions.

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Kal

A young French Canadian

foilowed me and asked his query in

his native language. The perplexed
attendant looked at him as if he
were speaking Swahili. !

nae

As we walked along Wellington
Avenue that morning, we stopped
to watch some activity at the bot-

i, oday, a byproduct of the FLO, violent

Armenians, a machine
Parliament and a mad

unner in the Quebec
us driver, the landmark

building is swarming with RCMP and assorted other

security officers. ’’

translated.

Today, a byproduct of the FLQ,
violent Armenians, a machine
gunner in the Quebec Parliament
and a mad bus driver, the land-
mark building is swarming with
RCMP and assorted other security
officers.

And the commissionaires are all
French-Canadians. They must be
bilingual and, sadly, that dis-
qualifies most English Canadians.

When my associate and I asked
directions on this recent occasion,
the attendants couldn’t have been
more pleasant or helpful.

Secretary's
Week

tom of the Parliamentary lawn.

A truck drove up and off-loaded
a portable stage. Another arrived
with an electronic speaker system.

There was no one there except
the workmen and a few police
amusedly watching proceedings.
Their nonchalance established a
mood of boring routine.

As noon approached, the crowds
came sauntering along from all di-
rections. A few placards made an
appearance. Finally, a speaker
mounted the dais and told an au-
dience of hundreds about some
impending calamity. We never did

Here’s one Arrangement
your Secretary won't
have toz

9 - Sunday, April 22, 1990 - North Shore News

Make

Let your Secretary
know how much
you appreciate her

get the drift.

That night, in the hotel room,
we learned from the newscaster of
an angry protest at the House of
Commons. The pictures confirmed
the seriousness of the affair and
we, who had been there, finally got
the message: GST was the subject.

It was angry, alright. Much like
Miss Piggy bashing Kermit.

The Generals were much more
entertaining.

kak

The current in-joke is that Brian
Mulroney has become the first
Prime Minister in history whose
popularity is lower than the inter-
est rate.

One of the effective Dalton
Camp strategies that has propelled
the Tories to contemporary
greatness is that one must do the
taessy deeds in the first half of a
mandate. This evolves into a
period of giving just as the voters
are poised to seek revenge.

Midway in the last term, the
Prime Minister tested the limits of
unpopuiarity, only to rise like the
Phoenix into a new majority. This
was such an impressive stunt,
Mulroney has jumped into the
depths like Houdini locked inside
an unbreakable safe.

Meech Lake, GST, staggering
deficits, high interest rates, curious
abortion policies and now gun
control ... how many locks and
ropes can "he bind himself with?
And can he escape?

Don’t ask the Generals. They
are neither in a meeting or a traffic
jam.

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