of . “personality. _- Whereas, ordinarily I am rather easy- going and placid and jolly, at this time of month I become ' critical and naggy and nasty and . suspicious and un- trusting and fearful and you name it. It has always been a rotten time for me, but lately [have been getting. more con- cerned about it because ‘I have thoughts of leaving my QUESTION: ‘At a. particular . time: of month, each and. . every month, I seem to go - through a complete: ‘change: - STEWART: certainly you can be helped - -so these difficult times can Freelance Counsellor ‘He iden Stewart’ may be: reached é at (261-6242 ‘for appointments for individaal; family or group counselling, His new (Office in the International Plaza Hotel. (Open Tuesda ays only) is for the “convenience of North Shore residents. ee husband, feeling ‘that he is : awful --to_ ‘live’ with and — without any understanding. Apart form those four or five days, our - relationship is heavenly. thing while Iam ‘down? Can you help me? I have room to say that. almost be altered sufficiently to please you a great deal. ‘Who would you" e if you were not who you are?” QUESTION: [I'm of . the opinion that most people - ‘not all people -. either get pushed into their life-work, or they sort of drift into it. I was manipulated and steered in one direction but balked against it in a rebellious, negative sort of way. All I was saying was, “I will not do THAT". I was not thinking about what I WANTED to do, only about not doing what others thought I should do. So then, through a combination of cir- cumstances [ sort of naturally ended up doing what I am doing now, and have done for some 18 years. Now here’s my question. You are a column-writing free-lance counsellor. What do you-think you would be right now, If you were not YOUR PACE OR MINE? “what you’ are? Ever think . _ about that? . STEWART: No, I never think about that. What ‘would I be if I were not what I am? Well, I suppose I would be dead, or waiting to be born, or alive. The only one I know about, so far, is being alive. If you eliminate the other two, that still leaves ~being alive. So, I guess, just like now, I would be a fellow who is pretty keen on being as fully alive as he possibly could be. As such, I might be “a column-writing free- lance counsellor”, or a bus- driver or a swim-instructor or a chef or shoe-salesman or a cake-decorator. I really would not matter much, as long as I gave my attention to being me, as fully alive, as possible. I think I would not be a dentist. More T-shirt porn QUESTION: Several months ago someone wrote you decrying the “pornography” that appears on the T-Shirts of teen-agers and adults, The other day I was reminded of it when I saw, not a teen-ager or adult, but a girl chat looked about 11 or 12 walking through the mall WITH HER MOTHER AND FATHER (!) with wording on her T-Shirt’ that meant nothing more nor less than an Invitation to bed, Not five minutes later I saw another small family, and again, the 42-year-old girl had ao T-Shirt that said, “Your place or mine?” What's the matter with those parents? STEWART: It's your riddle and I don’t know how to answer it. Perhaps the parents are naive enough to miss any questionable meaning. Who knows? The second one you saw, you may have misread. Joggers are wearing T-Shirts that say, “Your pace or mine?s’, Perhaps the one you saw said, “pace” rather than “place”, which might not be as bothersome to you, counselling, at first on your -own, and then: later, along --;. with your husband. Give me. - a call and I will give you an’ © if -you: appointment, ..or, prefer, refer. you to someone What if i do some crazy else. = 4737 Kingsway Burnaby 434-6611 I would suggest. you, get : a richly finished stain and lacquer frame and mirrored bookcase headboard, complete with our deluxe lap seam a mattress and our best heater and liner. QUESTION: How does : a. * lady get rid of a lecher? ’'m in the midst of learning. how. "sto ‘stand ‘up for ‘myself. and “mot. let other . people © manipulate. me: ‘and use me. : Tm learning!” Tm much better now at. handling: bores. and- cheats: : and missionaries . and doo oo to-door salesmen, but there's Ss” “a guy” trying to. paw me and talk me - ‘into. bed — he’s: the lecher I vho won't give up his - want to get rid of. I've got to ‘tell’ you. that | he. _is-a.very likable fellow and if .. he just, didn’t come on so strong, sexually, I ‘might find ~ values to $49.00 limited supply 1410 Marine Drive North Vancouver “mysell.- ‘really : Hows an J B st rid ofhim? | * But. he a free set of pillows with every hed purchased. (opposite Brasso) 986-3451 be » very difficult.” To you, he.. is - “very - Jikable”. It might help if you “were to allow yourself to be. - ‘More. accurate about your ' feelings toward ‘him. What - you want to get rid of is not’ ~~ HIM, but some of his tactics ‘ that do not ‘appeal to you. in “one. '--work, No; _ ‘better decide, not HOW to.” get rid of a lecher, but IF you WANT to get rid of him. comes Package! -You can’t say to him, “Hey lecher, please lech a_ little { the 548 Clarke Road Coquitlam 939-4401 WATERBED SHOWROOMS liking him. Bookcase te ’ ‘careful about rubbing | your feathers the wrong way —— -then, bingo! Eliminate any hope that. you are. the. one that. God has cBosen ‘to. -— change: him into being less. : ‘lecherous. ° himself, but.don't you: try to I think : you'd BUDGET TERMS CHARGER Page CH, September 19, 1979 - North Shore News - . less. because. L like you.”. He. se - would read that asa signal. © .. that/he was making. progress, =: is ‘and .that, fora particular’ case, it-is going. to “The - .creason? J don’ t_ think you “ really want to get of him. “few: hours; he'd ‘have .. to:. “be -a. “little. The - guy: might . do that .— initiate it for him. It does not...