t Freelance Counsatior, Hayden | Stewart does. private counsol- |. ‘| ling as well as a great. deal of. group work..He can be contact- ed at 261-6242 for Information |~ @ . | and: appointments. Letters are always weicome..Mall- them to - | HAYDEN. STEWART, clo the |- ‘North Shore News, #202-1139 Lonsdale, North Van. a Frien | find faults * QUESTION: : Everybody: is '. against me.--No that’s not. ‘what Pm saying. People. are’ not against mea lot; but: in.- this: one problem: Tm. trying - to work out, most‘ of :my- _, family ‘and ©. some « ‘of .my.. “ friends .assess the problem differently than I do and they: ure pretty. outspoken. in their. . opinions. I know a man. who: - _ relationship: than: . we. Ahave. had so.far and these people are against it. They: don’t - think: very: highly of him. I: * know: him - a-Tot: better ‘than. o “do -and:. although-..I - they - recognize that. he. 4s: ’not. “quesmion:. ‘Pac sure o lke to. : ; argue with. you-‘and: also. . arrange.a good old fachténod oe ‘ bull-session where a bunch... . Pd like to: ask yon. questions | ait: down together and. talk, | share ‘some. ideas with you... cmasty..motes?. Are - _you so. ‘ touchy that she has trouble: * QUESTION: - The: woman in - your attitude,such that. she | Charge of: the. prodection. - tat the... offfce * ~Maiow that doesn’t sound unusual, but: ‘her: tactics imitate me. This dame is not content: to.-simply speak te me o snd ew ke memo 'haunches lke. a vulture | Waiting, for something to die.- -lees}-and does hier job well, so . E'dem’t want: to be rude -to _ her, nor do I want to return a - barrage... of menos. How do I get to her with my. _STEWART:. First of all, concéntrate on your own part in the: | Workings of your> ge ‘that they | cannot see - _ friend? *. * STEWART: “Give - ,con consideration. :. Weigh - ‘them: ‘over: ‘again: ‘what YOU. ‘know. ‘abont.your™ -man(which‘’ ‘they ay: ‘NO your answers. _ and hear your answers, but.1 talk,’ ‘talk. {Do : “you: ever. do pald “Hear’?. not “‘read”’. It. ‘that?..- seems kindof unnatural to STEWART: * wite you and’walt‘a month. four times'a week, But those 7 . for-your reply and then not. are . _ he able, to talk with you about * groups for: registrants only. If , ere ee een eer tn fo tert Con minaret i law “Yes—about partially . Pid i hi ‘good for each other. ot ‘What should I-do about their: | “negative. feelings about my y their vue opinions - ‘and. “feelings your = wants’: a -more . invelved* j ~ know) and: es, any ‘of their. ‘closed’? o Seteners office. Do- you NEED: those. ‘communicating with - you in “the usual: way without: your: becoming hurt: or upset?” Is’: feels ‘she: must. play. a. “with you. when she: wants to to. where I work keeps, bugging get across something impor- Ene. to ie Speed eines © =P. tant?.. When. she. uses the more. “orthodox... ways. of — communicating with j you,, has ‘she got:the feeling that: you - do. not hear her or do not pay _ attention to. what she says? ‘Does she throw. darts at the- ‘ other people ‘in. the office too? “OK: Now, you” have ‘not : been: the person: who has equacies, of one sort or , another, what can. you. do? Tell her that you have a questionable. sense of hu- _ mour and would much rather she just confronts you with a ‘spoken message ora clearcut. - | memo and: that you. will ‘do your best to lift your share of the: load © efficiently and _ Bomptly. ‘ able request to make: ‘of her that will: make it easier for — | her and for. you, ‘So just telFit™ like : it” is. Or,.- enjoy’ the planes... They. could Be fan. (for s some: © people). ae unhurried: : your: friends.: have: that; do’ consideration’. ‘and: ‘your ~ friends’ criticisms find: your: ‘own wisdom and five or six, people w want a one or two-night rap-time, I am : will. cost you:-money. ‘though, ‘ted? . ‘Don't: grovel: or = - ‘| attack. You have. _a reason-._ from. your’ : friends). a. ‘good, : : €xamination.- What to do with: the opinions. if. ‘you: , "know in. your heart and mind ~ that: they: ‘are. inaccurate’ or |. hen throw them T ° “Please: ‘keep | in. ‘mind that ; might.-tend to make you | hurry. toward” your decision. . ~~ Don’t let anyone hurry you or : * pressure you... “too “give. “your::.own: Berto Lam SURE that. seer opinions and co yen scene ‘It is’ your — decision: and: ‘your life. So. your 9 own resources and trust . ‘sure. we. could--work it out. It: with my A couple: ‘of months ago, ‘taliag am Idea from-one of your columns, I. told him 1 wes having :a big: problem and needed his: help. I told: ‘him. 1 was: afraid. I test couldn’t: cope: with our. marriage the way. it was. and ‘afraid that I -was- sara Peteteta te Moreno reterarens 2." LOO « e SSraratatatetanate pee ea “aPatene’ ooo - Qwidths: . ” 2. My-fee is‘on ai sliding scale. [°° “Fora. night's. talk,:T charge. | ‘ - $100 3 maximum; per person; which | slides down ‘to...25. cents, ° “per: person. ‘Interes; a 20% | me ‘Speedball brushes, inks, “have- tried: every. way vf -. trying :to" improve my rela- ‘We have. “talked,” we have ‘argued, I. have.coaxed and - foaght -and. threatened and | ‘given bim love and support and criticized. You name it. and I've tried it. “SALISH FRAME. Weave’ ‘someone ‘a: beautiful - ~ pag-or cushion: - 46" $10.95. 24° $12.05: a RIGID. HEDDLE. 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