Sunday, October 20, 1991 - North Shore News - 43 [ES Love is a verb NEWS photo Mike Wakefield WHAT HAPPENS after the sizzle goes out of your marriage? More and more couples are now taking workshope and counselling sessions to leam how to strengthen their relationships. AS MANY couples know, once the infatuation fades after the first couple of years, marriage becomes work, Hard work. By Janice Mucatov Contributing Writer “Love doesn’t just happen,” says Kate Blassnitz, a community family counsellor with the North Shore Family Services Society (NSFSS). ‘‘You have to put into action your words. Although almost 50% of mar- riages still] fail, attitudes for solv- ing the problems that arise have shifted dramatically in the past 20 years. During the °70s and ’80s, the prevailing wisdom was that if the marriage was bad, leave it. Today, therapists favor a more moderate, less gut-wrenching ap- proach. They say fixing an ex- isting relationship — unless it’s ir- revocably destructive — is preferable to finding a new part- ner. Both Blassnitz and Cheryl Bell-Gadsby (who also counsels couples and other family members at NSFSS) predict that as the trauma of divorce, harsh econom- ic realities and the threat of AIDS take their toll, committed rela- tionships wil) become more valued. They say one of the key prob- lems plaguing couples today is the Stress encountered by juggling dual-income careers and children. “*There’s very lite time for .each cther,’’ says Bell-Gadsby. “And it’s so important to make &... key problems plaguing couples today is the stress encountered by juggling dual- income careers and children. 9¥ that time. And to talk about more than just finances, bills, kids, work — the business side of mar- riage.’ They advise that couples plan te “spend time alone together in an environment that fosters feelings of love and intimacy. “Choose an anniversary date like your wedding day, and go out once a month on that date for a special evening,’’ suggests Beil- Gadsby. ‘Or go for a picnic on the beach.”’ Another major problem they say couples grapple with is differ- ing expectations about what the relationship ought to offer. “*When people come to a rela- tionship, they come in, quite often, from very different backgrounds with different value systems,’ explains Bell-Gadsby. “Those value systems, if not talk- ed about, can cause a lot of dif- ficulties. Hf I don’t want the same thing as you want out of the rela- tionship, then that can cause some ‘major problems.” To help couples strengthen their bonds, Blassnitz and Bel!l-Gadsby will be organizing a one-day in- tensive workshop called Love is a Verb on Saturday, Nov. 2. Sponsored by NSFSS, it will be held at Lonsdale Quay from 9:30 _ a.m. to 4:30 p.m. at a cost of $66 per couple or $40 per person. NSFSS is a United Way inember agency that offers indi- vidual, couple, family and group counselling, as well as a family life education program, . Based on the work cf. American See Different page 48 GOOD UNTIL 2 LARGE PIZZAS (20 slices) “PIZZAS SOFT DRINKS SALADS (7-Up. Pepsi, Orange Crush) (2 Fresh Tossed) One 10° Pizza with Cheese. Tomato Sauce. . Pepperoni & Mushrooms One 10” Pizza with Cheese. Tomato Sauce. Ham & Pineapple PICK UP nel * Offer Good Daily ONLY beef and salami sausage. Ore baded ‘with specially _ blended cheese, tangy tomato sauce, Canadian ham and chunky AGS x ALi FOR ONLY 510% rex UP | GREAT | PIZZA CALL & y] 2 2 iat 2 2 ze 310 - 333 Brooksbank Ave., . North Vancouver, B.C. PICK UP OR DELIVERY plus SIX-PACK 6x350 mL Cans ALL ron S99 9o* ONLY PICK UP One pnzza toaded with mozzaretla cheese. tanay tomato sauce. ham and juicy pineapple. Second pizza loaded with mozzarella cheese. tangy tomato sauce. pepperoni: and mushrooms * Choice of 7-Up. Pepsi. Orange Crush NOV. 3081 FREE DELIVERY on regular menu . “AAWAHANS 4DD - TWG MEDIUM PIZZAS 1.99 FOR (16 a DELIVERY ALL FOR CNLY $89 Fc uP Loaded with mozzarelta cheese. langy tomato sauce, ham and juicy pineapple. 2226 Ma;zine Drive West Vancouver GST riot included SOLICITOR GENERAL YOUR LOCAL POLICE OICBC