NEWS photo Brad Ledwidge

Command performance

LT.-CMDR. Leo Fagan, training officer at HMCS Quadra
in Comox, inspects Royal Canadian Sea Cadets,
Lonsdale corps, Justin Wingfield, Mark Peart, Christine

Wieting, Amy Rodger and Kathieen Frisch. The cadets
won a Lower Mainland first-aid competition.

north shore news

‘¢ PARENTAL GUIDANCE

Trust is
something
you earn

from page 22

to an interrogation the dikes
of which Phaven t experi
enced since Ewas a teenager
miveclt.

“Where on carth have vou
been?” save my 13-year-old
daughter, hands on her hips
and toe tapping impatiently,
as f struggle in the door with
tive bays of groceries.

“Grocery shopping,
where de vou think?” {
aiswer a trifle impatiently,

“Dot cell me vou re just
getting home from last night
now,” she admonishes me,
giving me the roval once
Over.

Tt is soon clear that chs
teenager believes Fam just
returning trom a night on
the town. [ris unbelievable
to me, having cleaned the
house, done four toads of
laundry and walked the dogs
twice since she went to bed
the night before. but she is
very suspiciaus.

“Well mather,” she say's,
hands «till decidedly on her
hips, “where were you?”

In no time the bovs, like
coyotes circling their prey,
raise their shaggy heads to
support her.

“Yeah, Mom, where the
hell have you been?” they
chime in together.

Stunned by their collec-
tive suspicion, | stand,
speechless.

“Well, Mother?”

. If you coritinue to the 16th hole, don’t forget your _
umbrella! No rain checks will be issued.

Tee Time Bookings are made
3 days in acivance.
Tee Line opens daity at 9:00 a.m.

Cali 280-1111

And then it occurs to me.
fam now a single woman,
Since becoming a single
woman my social lie has
changed. [xo out more than
Tid when Pas married. |
stay out later, and itis clear
that my children, whe sell
live at home with me. are not
torally comfortable with this.

“For heaven's sake kids.”
1 answer defensively. “Eve
been home since list night.
You were ail asleep in bed
when [got home. 1 didn’t
uhink it was necessary to
wake vou up to let you know
when TP came in.”

“Didn't think it was ace
essary?” interjeets the 16-
year-old boy with surprising,
authority. “How would vou
feel if T did that?” he asks,
smugly certain of my answer.

“OK. OK” TL wave them
away. “Se [was a ditde late.
Since when do f have ro

Wednesday, June 16. 1999 ~ North Shore News - 23

anawer to vou?”

Well, appare nv since
their father and T changed all
the rules by sepanting. |

quickiy realize. You see, Phive

at home with these neark
fully grown but not adult
children, fn this time of tur-
mol, they are counting on
me more than ever to be
there for them.

~ Mother.” says my oldest
bos, sounding remarkably
like mv father. “We need to
establish trust here.” Phe
words sound so familiar and
yet so odd coming from him.

“Frast is something vou
carn, and not something vou
just get to have.” he elabo-
rates,

I gulp before responding.

“To understand,” Tsay,
swallowing my rebellious
desire to tell them just where
to stuffit, “Fram now on,
TH call vou te fet vou know

if fm going te be late.”

“OK then, see thar vou
do and we won't have this
problem again” hye says. his
voice descending inte tll
baritone.

Ive read enough books
on child povehology to be
mula with the idea of the
child parenting the parent,
but until new T haven't expe
nenced it first hand. | have
to admit I don’t like this role
reversal, not one fine bit.
Mut it serves as a reminder
that our children have
requirements Of us, just ay
we have of them, and vou
have to respect that.

J will draw the line, haw-
ever. it they try to impose a
curfew, ground me, or take
away the car. And there’s no
way in hell Pm cating
Brussels sprouts; | don t care
how good they are for me!

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