TO END a recent feud in
Concordia Sagittaria. aly. a judge
ordered Maria Bruna Bartolussi to
keep her talking blackbird away
from neighbor Norina Miorin.

Miorin testified that Bortolussi
had taught the bird to say, in
Italian, “Norina, f'm going to kill
you.” Al the time the two were
feuding over a garden.

South Charleston, West Virginia
— Inmate Robert Dale Shepard, in
jail on robbery charges, escaped
from a recreation yard in June by
braiding dental floss isto a rope that
he used to scale a fence.

To prevent such occurrences, the
State of Maine prohibits inmates
from having dental floss. but in
July, Portland inmate Michael
Tuck, 31, filed a lawsuit against the
stale, claiming that the policy hin-
ders his ability to fight tooth decay.

Michael Frazicr, the Lifestyle
editor of the daily newspaper in
Oak Ridge, Tennessee, was recent-
ly charged with attempted murder
of the husband of a woman he had
written about.

According to police reports,
Frazier and Lisa Whedbee began an
affair shortly after he interviewed
her. Ina plot to kill John Whedbee,
Frazier wes to pose as a robber-

HCBNOB INN

Damenioestom at

LEADBELLIES

“THE

Vat a Coates
a

intruder and stab John while Lisa
stood by with a baseball bat and
pretended to defend John.

But according to John, Frazier
seemed tentative, causing Lisa to
break character and yell to Frazier,
“You've got to do it, just do it
now.”

Minot, North Dakota — A
woman ran into a police station in
June asking for protection from her
husband, who was chasing her.

She was told to be seated in the

© Thomas Burton

GREAT AMER" \N NICKNAMES!

< SBtancKe i

wailing area, but before police
could get to her case, they found
the couple outside in the parking lot
facing off, with each pointing a
chain saw al the other.

A Denver judge recently sen-
tenced Oliver Thomas Oster, 77, to
serve 12 months in prison for tour
attempted bank robberies.

Oster, who was said to resemble
the near-sighted cartoon character
Mr. Magoo, and who is unable to
walk, aitempted the robberies from
a car at the banks” drive-in win-
dows and used a gun so rusted that
the cylinder wouldn't turn, which
was irrelevant - according to his
lawyer, Oster lacked the physicai
strength necessary to pull the tig-
ger.

St. Joseph, Missouri — Michael
Gene McCrary, 37, was charged

recently with atlempted robbery of

a barber shop.

According to police, MeCrary
walked into the shop — repcrtedly
slightly inebriated — and pretend-
ing fo have a gua in his pocket, said
to barber Fred Robertson, “Set ‘em
up.”

When Robertson requested clari-
fication, McCrary replied, “You
know what | mean.” A customer
walked outside and summoned
police.

_ © Kelly Kennedy
| Tlo one Aa

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