4 - Friday, June 19, 1992 - North Shore News Regional rot from Canada’s ‘national’ rag THE HEADLINE said it all. More, in fact, than its writer could have intended. it read: MANNING DRAWS BIG CROWDS, BUT LITTLE NATIONAL ATTENTION Below that, what's called in the trade the drop head or simply the *‘drops”’ read: SPARSE COVERAGE IS SHARP CONTRAST TO PREVIOUS ONTARIO TOUR Those heads — and the story, whose content was so accurately reflected by them -- appeared on the front page of the Monday, June 15, edition of Canada’s self- styled national newspaper, the (Toronto) Globe and Mail. I put “‘Toronto”’ in brackets merely (a) to make it clear where Canada’s National Newspaper is published and (b) to annoy Canada’s National Newspaper. It hates being called a Toronto newspaper. Sounds so parochial, so un-natural, so ... Toronto-ish. Which it is. And which is more than an aside. Because the real message of those headlines and the siory is clear to anyone living west of Burlington and east of Whitby. Look at the headline again: “Manning draws big crowds, but little national auention.”* The story, by perfectly decent old party Hugh Winsor — he has been around long enough, like me, to be awarded an honorary PDOP — begins: “Even though he drew some impressive crowds, there were in- dications during a five-day swing last week that Reform Party Leader Preston Manning has fall- en victim to Andy Warhol's dic- tum about the transitory nature of fame. His 15 minutes in the spotlight may be over.’’ Winsor rolls on, quite, one might say, unconsciously: Mann- ing’s visits to half a dozen com- munities ‘‘around the rim of Met- ropolitan Toronto”’ got almost no media coverage, compared with ‘talmost saturation coverage’’ in such a swing late in January. True, notwithstanding the fade in ‘media glitz,"’ Manning drew more than 1,000 neopie to a meeting near Lindsay — at $5 per head admission. I will not pause to ask rude questiens about how many people would pay 35 to hear certain prominent Canadian political leaders, who shal} remain, with my customary kindness, unnamed. Let us continue with an exami- nation of Mr. Winsor's thesis. It seems that Manning’s ap- pearance in Markham — second- richest community in Canada, by the way, a distant runner-up to No. 1, which, in my cuscomary municipal modesty, v.ii! also re- main unnamed — was ‘‘not a sellout.’’ Gee. Tnat bad, eh? But Winsor, who is a member of the parliamentary bureau of Toronto’s National Newspaper and therefore routinely tracks Truth to its lair in Ottawa, can- didly reports: ‘‘The reception he was acccude-d in places like Belleville, Lindsay, Midland and Newmarket, however, indicate (sic — grammar fans will note the er- ror) he is successfully tapping into a major underground (sic again — countless ordinary Canadians will notice that they have been located **underground’’ by 444 Front St. West’s National Newspaper} stream of conservative discon- tent.” Trevor Lautens ad - GARDEN OF BIASES May I propose a new category for a national newspaper award -- Snottiest, Dimmest, Most Blandly Self-Satisfied, Most Regionally Arrogant Story of the Year — and nominate the Globe and Mail epistle for it? Hell, fet’s just give it the 1992 award now. [t's doubiful that even the G&M can out-perform itself in this category in the re- maining months of the year. } hope that doesn’t dismay its many other aspirants. The citation for the award, written by an admiring panel of judges, might read: **We have studied a number of pompous submissions in this cate- gory, 98.7% of them, significant- ly, froma single newspaper — the (Toronto) Globe and Mail, ‘However, Mr. Winsor’s story stands swelled-head-and- shoulders above all others. “We can cite only the main reasons for our choice, which was unanimous. “1. It shrewdly puts down Mr. Manning, who obviously threatens Ottawa's National Establishment and the backroom lies, deceptions, payoffs, and handshake agree- ments on which this great nation was founded, and which continue to flourish. “2. It admirably does so while accurately reporting that Mr. Manning in fact continues to at- tract significant numbers of Ca- nadians to his political rallies. **3, It openly tells the said Ca- nadians that, while their numbers may be significant, they themselves are not, because... **4, Only the media are en- trusted with the task and self- given the right to identify, create, and sustain significance, and to declare when it is terminated, no matter what number of insignifi- cant Canadians think, say, or believe. **§. An ‘insignificant Canadian can be defined as one who lives in burgs like Belleville, Lindsay, and by extension similar places in the Regions of Canada, i.e., outside of Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, and, just possibly, though we have to hold our noses to admit it, Vancouver, which we include mostly because of its climate and good skiing. ‘*We therefore are pleased to present this award,”’ etc. etc. There you have it, fellow insig- nificant Canadians outside of the Power Triangle — a fine specimen of why Canada’s political institu- tions cry out for restructuring. And why I don’t think it would be wise of me to ever apply for a job with Canada’s Nationa! Newspaper. Pity. { quite like Toronto. ETL IN OS AU SERVICE | INCLUDES A FREE CATALYTIC CONVERTER INSPECTION — Brakes -— Custom and dual exhaust — Automatic and standard transmissions — Clutches and all drive-line components —- 25 Ton motorhome and truck hoist — All work guaranteed * May not be combined with any other offer. 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