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Page 26 ~ April 26, 1976 - North Shore News ; a ene page 17- Apel 28, 1976.- = North Shore News |
7 byChuckde Witt, : Fe ae a ———— ms
\. Dear Alderman MeAlister, soft Co ntact
: — Ho T hail your final solution to West Vancouver's dog “problem”! | . ~

| Lens Sale.

Dogs are. inferior beasts who foul the ‘Purity of our proud municipality. Sensible people oe
would not let one near. .

7 | only $3 4995.” eee |
1am not intolerant (some of my best friends have dogs) but I simply cannot understand all. PAS “Top: quality. lenses.
the fuss that some folk (especially, it seems, the old and lonely) make of the wretched animals’, nn Professionally fitted :
— they possess no conversation, wear an incredibly stupid expression on their face whenone | _ ° with guaranteed |
opens the door, wag their ridiculous tails for the slightest reason.and make silly little noises as"... * ae 7 § 7 results: ee
 § they nuzzle up to one on the settee. Widows and other old solitary persons would be much ( ; ve
3 better off.without such disgusting companions! . : an “DAN'S. RUG of ae 874-6221
INSIGNIA OF RANK- } . The People of West Vancouiver are just ‘waiting for your call to action in enforcing the : N CLEANING 25 ow
‘A DOGSTALTIP } * poop-scoop by-law and I suggest the following: _ . ee ‘et Broadway):
- oe incouver a
WORN BEHIND (1), Under. the banner ““Group McAlister’? form an action-party va
CAPE . DG (2) Provide Party Members with easily recognizable clothing (items of obsolete W.V. police —
INSIGNIA OF RANK~ ; é a uniforms could be pressed into service). and a modicum of equipment (see Crothing and ay
BADGE WORN ON 7 | { Z Lot . Equipment attached). . > oe 7 . - Ze
BADGE WORN ON ARES a) ; “THE NATURAL CUT
. é (3) ‘Organize 24. hour 2- -person - patrols throughout the length and breadth of West a a
é Vancouver and deal sternly with offenders (see Rehabilitation attached). Perhaps initially a Wash & wear. No eotting ee
INSIGNIA CF RANK warning — but followed with the extremities of the law. I would personally favour public necessary. Sculpted. to. the - ™
SUPERIOR QUALITY floggings for repeat offenders. and perhaps you could arrange for. this in the form of a a - profi ‘We esau ot your. 7
SILK ARMBAND oi supplementary by-law . . “AL ieete,” ‘your hair texture end
a _ (4) Co- ordinate patrols and ‘enforcement’ throu h a, to be, constructed buildin (see _ [> even tho way It. grows. : Soft .
INSIGNIA Bone: Operations Control Centre attached). This rough form a delightful addition to. ing civic [+ feminine looks that ere =e -
: ° centre, especially-as it would be windowless for security reasons and thereby complement . Bye Mark end John. = net
SILER ORANENTAL. the beautiful exterior of our new Aquatic Centre. ; | ;
HANDLE cence (5) Give strong: esprit ‘de corps to the new Party by wide use of the symbol (ee Group - SPECIAL EFFECTS COLOUR .
McAlister’s Embleri & Medal attached) suggested. Note that it embodies the international Tipping = frosting — - suintighting-- —_ “highlighting = i.
. sign for forbidden’ yet by gutting away small Portions creates the letter. “Ss” being ae corrective colouring —. streaking. [Alt tndividualized to: be
mR vee : , - elptul reminder.o the word Scoo , - provid ith a-fabul ve look wang
MCALISTER GROUPER ACER | : TROOPER. | vam sure that under your ieadership we h Ii yet. New O: de: West V ith ™ “vm _e — _ _ *
; oF | ; DOG-POOP COOPER 7 sha ye ‘See a New Order in West Vancouver wi
CRANK: SCOOP LEADER TetCLASS) © ©1976 c.pewitr MCALISTER GROUPER Ss 7 ; the ideals of dog poop scooping spreading to all other aspects of. our life’ ‘and eventually
a - _ . So — bringing about the rebirth of our beloved nation. - rs “PERM ACURL.
. - Yours faithfully, (Cc. de Witty’: New in all the world — just
-.) wash @&, ‘weer, No. sotting: _
\ 2Co.. necessary. Gives beautiful .
| "Group McAlister’ s Eml ler & Mec lal fel an ate
: a eo Moy Re Bs Wialions “BRING THIS AD ==
. . \ if & 7 , Ra “Worth Five Dollars. |
: : 927.6: i “Yea onthe Natural Cut or}
7 | eno anewer call 685-8834 “ Permacurl or Colour:
| So _ ae EXPIRES MAY.
wf jecause o Curtis Mathes ds. the best color Vv"
ons | : 7 ry : on. the market, Koombes backs it
LEFT? OFFICIAL EMBLEM OF Sue orcanizarion (Ly With the best guarantee inthe world.
TOGETHER WITH (RIGHT A SIMPLIFIED VERSION
_ FOR GENERCL USE. (NOTE: BI-LINGUSL MorTo WiLL .
- — _ ENHANCE CHANCE OF OBTAINING.FEDERAL FUNDS.) »
cy “THE CHARGE: ~ ARGENT ROUNDEL,, A DOG. ar STOOL -
bos GUARDANT, GULES, A BEND SINISTER, ;
| , IR wT swale f7I\\ Wy fi 7
: NY yt in ¥: Le an
CLEC MOOOUE te — asm de :
PS op SCOOP] OPERATIONS H. G/ Me : | ss _— . a i 100% F Pats. Lo
: | — fae . - — ie + 100% Picture Tube: ——
a Perrin, See ATLA e AMT puna oS ‘ee mae ae
| Be, cu igs imessey Ne .
7 ut : a Ma , © “4 oh , x | het % ‘y ‘ 1 7
t ~ oe 7 _ te name ae y | fe see ; \° * ; ; 1
= . " Oh AA ; ° Sg WN ‘he “a gt - 7 rr A eres a eee |
Pints : A eo OTD ts ra eR Mh | ) ip 7 ie 1 en OMe wy ar Pee ft’ o W ae
WIVES, MOTHERS K ewentiieets OF TROOPERS \  _— wm ge wetat a Sen Rg Lat GS aan
MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR, OPS ROOM'S HUGE PLOTTING ABLE. SOPHISTIC- | -ppeueer stealer ROH BCENE OF THE CRIME- ¢ | Park Royal Mall . "West Vancoviver oa
ATED COMPUTORIZED TELE-FED. FEED BACKS OF INFORMATIONAL INFUT FRONTED WITH THE DOG-ROOP BYCLAW— ALL BUT THE MOST HARDENED peed eens 928-7471. oi mien ae :
Wa BE NONITORED TO CONTROL PATROL LOCATION AND MANCEUVERABIL- LITY, CRIMINALS WILL BE OVERCOME WITH DEEP FEELINGS OF GUM tMorthelde on the, outside” |
. - : ciethea van nad 7 TTL Cater ACS Cn eee ee a O19. Cc. Pe WITT -/ sneceamnnaneaninnaennetnnrentneaneianreneaanertantenanareanintneeensoatetinint - : -